MHA #16 and then Cutter’s Office at the ARC - Tuesday after class

[itsananomaly]

Cutter was extremely glad that he had booked a portal immediately after class because the last thing he wanted was to be in his apartment, being so close to Connor and not being able to be near him. How had he been so stupid? How could he think after everything that Connor would want to take him back after everything he had done.

He made a very quick stop to his apartment to pick up his bags and then he made it to his portal. He was somehow able to hold it together long enough to make it from the portal to the ARC, he didn’t say anything, just rested his head against the window, watching the city drive by as Becker drove him. He could see Becker looking back in concern in the rearview mirror but he still couldn’t say anything.

It was like that until they made to the ARC and then he couldn’t bring himself to meet with the team just then, he shut himself in his office and only then he curled up on the couch and started crying.

[that Cutter was in his apartment and then left to go home is fine for broadcast but everything after that is NFB due to distance. For one!]

Comments

[thearcfamily]

"The very fact that you realize that and are taking this step speaks volumes, Nick. It's a hard thing to do but this first step is an important one." He gave Cutter a smile. "Proud of you and the progress you are making, Nick. This will take time, but you are doing what you need to do to get there. And I will be here to help and support you in any way that I can."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter bit his lip and nodded, "it ... it means a lot, to have your support in this when you've done so much for me already," he said softly, "I'll ... " he wasn't sure what he wanted to say and his voice trailed off for a while, "I'll try and make this work,"

He just hoped it went better than the sessions with Dr. Jones had.

[thearcfamily]

"And that is all anyone can ask of you right now. And if it doesn't work out with Dr. Taylor for whatever reason, we can look for someone else."

Becker softened a bit as he looked at Cutter. "And you can always call anytime you need Cutter. I'm here for you, as are Lester and the rest of the team. You won't go through this alone."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded as the tears started over flowing again, “thank you,” he said softly, “I ..,I don’t want to be alone,” he admitted, “I thought …I thought I did and that made everything worse,”

[thearcfamily]

"it's a balance... knowing when to try and stand on your own and when to admit you need help and accept it. Took me far longer than it should have so you are in good company with that" Becker said gently. "And sometimes its a break from a certain person, or a place, or a habit. or activity that is needed. Unfortunately, the only way to really know what it is and what works is to try and see. And that is what you are doing now."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded, biting his lip, “I’ve never been good at that, figuring out that balance,” he admitted, “I …I don’t even know where to begin with that,” he said softly.

[thearcfamily]

"At that is what Dr. Taylor can help you with. Figuring out that process and what does and doesn't work. It's easier to do when you have someone helping and guiding you" Becker said. "And you have all of us here as well."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded, wiping away the last of his tears, “I …I know I need the help,” he said quietly, “I …I can’t keep going the way I am,”

[thearcfamily]

"And that is the biggest step, believe me. You will have all the help you need now that you are ready to accept it" Becker said simply.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded, “thank you,” he said quietly, “I …sorry, it …I didn’t think I’d be this much of a mess when I came back,” he said sheepishly.

[thearcfamily]

"Nothing to apologize for, Nick. Life is seldom cooperative and usually doesn't play by our plans or our rules." Becker smiled softly. "I am just glad I can help you take the next step in this. In case you didn't know... I care about you, Nick. Just so ya know."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter gave a very small smile at that, tears starting to form in his eyes again and he tried to blink them away before they could start falling, "I care about you too Becker," he said softly, "I ... I really appreciate everything you've done for me, I ...I really wouldn't have gotten this far without your support,"

[thearcfamily]

"Not sure I want to think about where I would have ended up if Lester hadn't hired me..."

Becker reached over and put his arm around Nick for a quick hug then dropped his arm and gave a small stretch.

"So, don't know about you but I don't think my back is going to handle sitting on the floor much longer... so shall we?"

[itsananomaly]

Cutter was grateful for that quick hug, he gave a small smile, "I think we can move off the floor," Cutter agreed, starting to feel a little better, considering how badly the day had started.

He paused, "I don't think my back will handle sitting on the floor either," he admitted as he slowly began to stand up.