MHA #13 - Monday after classes

[itsananomaly]

After class had finished for the day Cutter had returned to his and Connor’s flat and decided to have a shower. He was planning on heading back to his old flat to do some work on setting up the anomaly prediction model Fandom version and he was still getting used to the idea of showering with sharing a flat with someone, since it had been a very long time since Helen and even Stephen, he hadn’t thought to completely cover up and had only wrapped a towel around him, which meant a lot of those still very red H’s that had been imprinted in his skin were completely visible.

He went back to the bedroom to change, still oblivious to the idea that Connor could walk in and see those scars.

[for Connor, up early for timezones and sp and that Cutter and Connor talked is fine for broadcast but what they discussed is NFB please! CW for discussion of torture and death in the comments]

Comments

[anomaly_research_nerd]

The whole getting used to sharing the flat with someone else struggle went both ways. Connor still wasn't quite used to the idea of having to knock or check if Cutter was using the shower or in the bedroom or anything. So after he had been out with Rex for the afternoon, giving the guy some good flying time in at the park, Connor came back to the flat and headed for the bedroom to change into clean clothes.

Opening the door without the thought to knock or call out to let Cutter know he was back, Connor walked in. When he saw Cutter standing there his eyes of course went to the scars as hard as he tried not to stare, the flood and flashes of how they got there running through his mind in those few seconds before he looked away.

"Oh... s-sorry Nick..." he said averting his eyes. "Didn't mean to... I... I mean..." he stammered.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter startled as he heard Connor come in and his towel that had been covering the burns on his legs dropped for a moment and he hastily grabbed them to cover them back up but he knew Connor had seen them, "sorry ..." he stammered, "I ... I ... should have covered them, I ..." his voice trailed off as he stared helplessly at Connor, he knew this was going to have to come up sooner or later but he still wasn't prepared for this and he bit his lip as he waited for Connor's reaction.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"No... I... I should have thought to knock" Connor said softly. "I..." Connor trailed off. He didn't want to make Cutter feel worse by calling attention to the scars but he also didn't want Cutter to think he was offended or anything either.

"Want me to grab your clothes for you?" he asked with a soft smile as he glanced at Cutter then started for the dresser that had officially become Cutter's.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded, "yes please," he said quietly as he stared down at his feet, knowing that there were burn scars there as well and he shifted his feet awkwardly, he held the towel around him as he sat down on the bed and waited, still unsure of what to say.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor was quiet as he got a change of clothes for Cutter. When he turned around and walked over he put the clothes on the bed beside Cutter and after a brief moment's hesitation he sat down on the bed beside him.

Quietly Connor reached over and gently took one of Cutter's hands in his, not knowing what to say just then but wanting Cutter to know he wasn't alone. Finally when Connor could say something he looked at Cutter.

"I am so sorry Nick... for what... what she did to you" he said softly, not wanting to say Helen's name.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter could only nod at first as he gratefully held Connor's hand, he felt tears begin to form in his eyes and he tried to blink them back, "I'm sorry that I'm so weak," he finally said softly, "I ... I should be stronger than this,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Nick, you have been stronger than anyone I have ever known" Connor said softly as he sat there, not yet making a move to pull Cutter closer. "You are so strong Nick. You hear me?" he said gently but firmly.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter tried to nod, "I ..." he started to say and then before he could stop himself those tears started overflowing and then a few moments later he was openly sobbing.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Oh Nick" Connor said softly as he shifted and let go of Cutter's hand and gently put an arm around him and pulled him into a light hug. He kept the hug light, letting Cutter choose if he wanted it or if he wanted to pull away. "It's ok Nick, I got you."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter wrapped his arms around Connor and kept sobbing, "I'm sorry," he said quietly as he leaned against Connor's shoulder, sobbing, "I'm sorry," he repeated, not knowing what else to say as those tears kept falling.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor just sat there, holding Cutter close once he returned the embrace. After a while he slowly loosened his hold and looked at Cutter, his eyes going to brand scar on his shoulder. Without a word, he reached out and gently ran his fingers over the scar. He then looked up at Cutter.

"You are more than this Nick" he said softly, fingers still on the scar. "This is not all you are" he said, having an idea what might be on Cutter's mind.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter trembled as he tried to stop crying, he had been working through this in therapy but it was still something that he was trying to come to terms with, he tried to relax as Connor traced his scar, "I just ... I know this is why she did this, the scars, she wants to still control me ... I don't want to let her do that," he said softly.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"And she's not. She won't" Connor said softly, keeping his arm around Cutter as he looked at him."You are more than this and you won't let her win. You are a fighter Nick. You are such an amazing person, I know you won't let her win. Neither of us will."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter wiped away those tears as he tried to stop them from falling, "I just ...I just wish I felt like I was stronger," he admitted quietly.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"You'll get there Nick." Connor held Cutter close as he thought about his own scars b the brands Helen had left on him as well. "You'll get there, and I'll be here to help you, no matter what..if you want me to."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter clung to Connor tightly, "I ... I would like that," he said softly, "it ... it would mean a lot if you... if you could help me," he trembled slightly as he tried to calm himself down. "I'm sorry, I ... I know H ... she did the same to you, I ... I want to help you too as well, if you want ..."

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"We'll help each other" Connor said with a small nod as he smiled softly. "We'll figure it out together. I know she meant it to drive us apart, to break us and break what we have. But I wont let her do that. I love you too much to let her win like that Nick."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded, sniffling slightly as he calmed down, "I just ... I just know she's going to try this again, she didn't succeed before and now ..." he closed his eyes for a few moments before he looked back up at Connor, "I don't want her to hurt you again," he said softly.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"The fact that she didn't succeed, that she didn't break us, that is why we are going to be fine. We are stronger together so we're stronger now than ever."

Connor fell silent a moment as he held Cutter close.

"I don't want her to hurt you again either Nick. I don't want to lose you again."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter held onto Connor tightly at that, "I don't want to lose you again either," he said softly, thinking that Connor was talking about the fallout from everything that had happened and their subsequent breakup, "I love you Connor,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor held onto Cutter tightly as he trembled. He knew there were still things he had to tell him, things he wanted to talk about. He didn't want there to be any secrets between them anymore. But he was scared of how Cutter would react.

After a moment or two Connor managed a small somewhat forced smile as he let go of Cutter and gave a nod to the clothes still sitting on the bed beside them.

"How about we get you dressed and then we can go sit on the couch for a bit? There... there's some things I need to tell you Nick. Some things we need to talk about."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter tilted his head slightly at that, he had almost forgotten that he was sitting there in just his towel and he took a deep breath, wiping away the last of those tears that hadn't quite fallen, "okay," he said softly, "I'll go and get changed," he wondered what Connor could possible want to talk to him about.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor gave a small smile and nodded as he gave Cutter a gentle squeeze then stood and left the bedroom to give Cutter some privacy while he changed. He headed to the living room and sank down onto the couch and sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. There was no easy way to bring this up and he truly was worried about how Cutter would react, but Connor knew he couldn't keep this from Cutter any longer.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter finished getting ready and then once he was dressed and his scars were now completely hidden again, he walked out into the living room and sat on the couch next to Connor, "what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked gently.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor looked at Cutter as he sat down and took a deep breath.

"I know when we decided to do this... to try and get back together and make this work... I know we said no more secrets. We would talk about things and be honest with each other about everything." Connor looked at Cutter for a moment and swallowed hard. "I... I need to tell you something. Something I was afraid to talk about at first and still kinda am... but after everything we've been through, I don't want to keep anything from you anymore Nick" he said as he reached out and took Cutter's hand.

[itsananomaly]

"I don't understand ..." Cutter said softly as he took Connor's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "what ....what do you need to tell me that you're afraid to? I thought we'd talked about everything we needed to talk about earlier..." he added softly.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"It's... not about Helen, or Stephen... it... it's about what happened before, back in my timeline before I came here to Fandom." Connor trembled slightly as he held onto Cutter's hand. "I didn't say anything at first because I didn't want to possibly mess up things up, or change things too much after what happened with Claudia," he said softly. "And then I was afraid of hurting you... but i know I'm hurting us both by not telling you what happened." Connor closed his eyes, fighting back the churning feeling in his stomach. "Nick... you... you died, in my time line... several years ago now" he said softly, watching Cutter closely.

[itsananomaly]

Whatever Cutter had been expecting it hadn't been expecting that, "oh," he said quietly, not sure how to process this at all, "I ... oh ..." he wasn't sure how to process this at all, "um ... what happened to ... to your Nick?" he finally asked, not sure if he wanted to know or if this was the same fate that lay in store for him.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor didnt want to say, but he knew he owed this to Cutter. He knew he had to be honest about it if they wanted a chance to make this work between them.

"It... it was Helen" Connor said softly. "She had attacked the ARC, Nick... he went after her and... she shot him." Connor took a slow shaky breath as the vivid memories flashed through his mind again clear as they had been the day it had happened. "I found him. I... I tried to get him out... I tried to save him but I... I couldn't. Nick... my Nick... died in my arms." Connor fell silent as he closed his eyes fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter sat there for a moment as he tried to process what Connor had told him, Helen had killed him, was this how his fate always going to end up?

He didn't want to think about that but instead focused on what Connor was telling him, how this was impacting Connor and he reached out to draw him into a hug, "thank you for telling me," he said quietly, "I can see how hard this would have been, I can see why you didn't want to tell me but thank you, I ... is the timeline still the same? Do you think ... do you think my Helen will try the same?"

Maybe they could prevent it somehow.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor held onto Cutter as he cried, the tears falling as he tried to push down the memories. "I... I care about a lot. Not... like I care about you but... he was a good friend... he was my mentor..." Connor said between the sobs as he tried to calm down.

Slowly he managed to stop the tears as he leaned against Cutter. "It had been about a year or so since.... when I came to Fandom" he said softly. "And things are different. The timeline are kinda the same, but they are different too. Some of the same things have happened but with different things taking place. And some things are totally different" he said softly thinking back to everything that had already happened with Helen and Stephen and where the similarities and differences had ended up.

[itsananomaly]

"Oh Connor," Cutter said softly as he kept holding onto Connor, rubbing his back gently as he cried, "I'm so sorry," he didn't know what else to say, he didn't know how to even process the idea that another version of him had died, that it could happen to him, "maybe enough things are different in my timeline that it won't happen?" he tried after a few moments, "Maybe we can prevent this from happening?"

He tried to sound hopeful but he couldn't help but feel doubtful at that if Helen wanted him dead, she would make sure it happened no matter what.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor clung to Cutter for a moment as he started to calm down and finally let go but still leaned against him a little.

"I think we can... I mean, some things have happened like before. Stephen died but other things are somewhat different. Enough things might have already changed for it to not be exactly like it was before?" he asked hopefully. "And we can try and prevent it. Watch for Helen, be ready if she shows up again here, we can take advantage of this and try and prepare maybe?"

[itsananomaly]

"We'll work through this," Cutter nodded as held tightly onto Cutter, "I'm not going to give up that easily, if we work together and be ready for Helen when or if the time comes, maybe there'll be better odds of surviving?" he said as he tried to think of ways that they could get beat Helen, "you're not going to lose me again Connor," he said softly, hoping that that was true.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor nodded and took a shaky breath as he wrapped his arms around Cutter. "I... I'm sorry I kept this... from you for so long. But I know we can figure this out. We... we will find a way to beat Helen again this time. For good."

[itsananomaly]

"I understand Connor," Cutter said gently as he wrapped him in a tight hug, "this must have been so difficult for you, thank you for telling me and we can be prepared for whatever Helen tries to throw at us, we're stronger together, we won't let Helen tear us apart again,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"I'm not going to leave you Nick" Connor said as he looked at Cutter. "I promise, I won't leave. I'm right here, always will be. I am going to keep you safe this time."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter felt a lump form in his throat at that and he found himself blinking back tears, "thank you Connor," he managed to whisper, "I'm not going to leave either, I'm not going to let Helen control my life anymore, I'm going to stop her," he said softly, wishing he felt a lot more confident than he felt.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor sighed as he nodded, the exhaustion hitting as he still hiccupped a little. "Thank... thank you Nick. I... I won't let her take you from me."

For a while Connor sat there on the couch beside Cutter, head leaning against his shoulder. He didn't know what was going to happen but he knew that now that everything was out in the open, it was going to be ok.

"I love you Nick" he said softly as he held him tightly, eyes closed as he tried to calm down.

[itsananomaly]

"I love you too Connor," Cutter said softly as he leaned against Connor, trying to process everything that Connor had told him and how he was going to prepare himself with this information to fight back against Helen, "I love you so very much,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor closed his eyes as he relaxed slowly, just taking a moment to enjoy being with Cutter, having him there. "We've already changed a lot of things" he said softly. "Maybe Helen won't ever even show up again now. Enough might have changed between you being here in Fandom and us being together to change our timeline here..."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded at that, "that might be enough," he said, hoping that was the case, he reached over to take Connor's hand in his, "maybe my version of Helen will cut her losses and go back to the past?" he considered.

Even though as he said it he realised the idea of Helen being let loose in the past was really not that good of an idea.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Maybe we'll be lucky. At least... at least now we have a heads up in this case" Connor reasoned though the thought of Helen being around in any time- past, present, or future- was still a terrifying thought indeed. "If we let Lester and the team know, maybe we can come up with a plan together?" Because att his point and screwing with the time line was already done and whatever changes they brought about would have to be dealt with. Connor was determined to not let Helen take Nick away from him twice.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter took a deep breath, he had to focus on what he could change and not all the 'what if' scenarios that were running around in his head right then, "that might work, James might have an idea on how we can handle this situation moving forward, it might not be a bad idea to talk to him about it, or at the least give him the heads up that something could happen at the least,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"We can talk to Lester when we call for our next check in" Connor said as he gave Cutter's hand a squeeze. "Maybe we can get with him and Danny and Becker and figure out something. At least to have some sort of plan in place, in case... in case she shows up at the ARC or something?"

[itsananomaly]

Cutter took a deep breath and nodded, "that doesn't sound too bad, at least ... at least we could have a chance of stopping Helen if we put measures in place, get the jump on her before she gets the jump on us?" he said softly.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Aye" Connor said softly. He shifted on the couch and pulled Cutte closer as he wrapped his arms around him tightly. The last thing he wanted to do just then was let him go.

[itsananomaly]

Which was definitely fine with Cutter, he didn't want to be anywhere other than with Connor right then, "I love you so much Connor," he said as he leaned into Connor's arms.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"I love you Nick. More than anyone or anything" Connor said as he started to relax a little in his arms. "We'll figure this out..." he knew they didn't really have much choice, they had to figure out what to do if Helem ever did come back.