A Week in the Scottish Highlands

[itsananomaly]

Cutter was a little nervous about camping in the wilderness for a week, he had never done anything like this before … he had done camping but that had been for his digs and he’d always been working. This trip was all about taking time for himself, to not do any work … to spend time out in nature and Becker was going to be there with him. Dr. Taylor had been very adamant that he take this week to reflect and work on himself and that this would be good for him. “This is really beautiful out here,” he remarked as he looked out at the view of the Scottish highlands, “I’ve never visited the highlands before and I spent my life growing up in Scotland,” [preplayed with the amazing anomaly_research_nerd. CW for mentions of torture, medical trauma and injury. NFB due to distance but OOC welcome!]

Becker(thearcfamily)	"Then I would say this is a trip far too long overdue, for several reasons" Becker said with a grin as he looked form Cutter out across the view stretching out before them. It had taken most of the morning and part of the afternoon hiking to get to their camping spot, but it was pretty much as perfect as Becker could have asked for. There was forested areas and open grass fields within easy walking distance, and a river slowed nearby. There would be no shortage of things for them to see or do. "Shouldn't take too long to get camp set up" he said as he started going through the pack he had been carrying to start setting up their tent.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter returned that grin as he walked back to Becker to see what he could do help set up the tent, "at least it's still daylight, or at least what passes for daylight out here," he said since there was still a bit of fog around but Cutter didn't mind, it really did help make that view all the more mysterious and beautiful, "we made pretty good time getting here," it had been one of the biggest walks he had been on since everything had happened and it had taken a lot out of him but he knew this would get better the more that he worked at it.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"We made great time" Becker said. "And you did really well with the hike out here too. You might be ready to tackle Ben Nevis by the time we have our next trip" he said with a grin. He wasn't even sure he would be ready to tackle the peek himself any time soon if he was honest. But Cutter had done really well considering and he was proud of how he had done. "If you want to start looking around for some stuff for the fire that would be good. I got the tinder and everything we need to start it, just need the wood to get things going."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, "I think we might need a few hikes before I'm ready to start tackling mountains," he said and then nodded, "I can get us wood, I've had a bit of practice with that recently through camping cooking class," he revealed. He wasn't sure if Lester actually knew that Cutter would end up going on a camping trip at the end of the semester but it seemed highly suspicious that Cutter had been signed up for a class about camp cooking.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Probably a coincidence or a Fandom thing, but it was very fortunate for that class... would make the camping trip a little easier. However, Becker had done a good bit of research to find a place that was remote enough to give them the disconnect from everything they needed without being absolutely impossible for Cutter to manage. "Perfect, thanks. A decent pile will get us started and I can always get some more tonight if we need." And here Becker looked up from his pack and gave Cutter a small grin. "Camp cooking huh? Might have to see what ya learned, see how my go-to camping recipes stack up!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter actually managed to laugh at that as he began to start looking around for wood to pick up, "well, if you don't mind the food a little burnt ... I think I've grasped the whole actually cooking a recipe without making a huge mess in the progress," he grinned as he brought over the small pile he had gathered. He did feel a slight pang as he thought back to that day in Lester's kitchen with Connor but he immediately banished the thought from his mind, he was supposed to be focusing on him .. not about Connor or the breakup or anything. This week was going to be about self improvement and spending time on himself.
Becker(thearcfamily)	“Little burnt bits never hurt anyone. Builds character," Becker said with a grin. It was good to see Cutter laugh, especially considering everything that had been happening lately. Becker had a good feeling about the trip, it would be good for both of them. So I think we might be done today with setting up camp and getting a quick bite cooked up. What did ya want to start off with in the morning? Lay around the camp? Check out the river? Do a little hiking farther up the ridge? Got plenty of options and a full week to do it all in."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned at that, "well I haven't quite figured out how not to burn something, so I figured it was only fair to warn you before you tried my food," He hesitated at the mention of the river, while he would normally be tempted to go and check out the river to see what fossils he could find ... he also had been trying to avoid large bodies of water lately, it just made him feel to uneasy, it reminded him of ... "Maybe we could do a little more hiking?" he considered, "explore the area a bit more, see what we could find, could be a good change to take really good photos," He had brought the cameras he had brought in Fandom, that had felt like an eternity ago and it had been for a different purpose but taking photos of the trip had been one of Dr. Taylor's suggestions and that he could try scrapbooking it later.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Sounds like a plan. Should be some really good vantage points around here so I'm sure photo opps will be no trouble at all." Becker went quiet for a few minutes as he finished getting the tent up and secured. He then stood and gave it a once over and nodded. "There's shelter's taken care of, fire and food will be taken care of soon!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"That's good, I'm actually rather hungry after that hike," Cutter smiled, "and getting in as many angles as I can would be good ...I've never tried scrapbooking before but Dr. Taylor thinks it will help," He paused, "thank you for coming out on this trip with me, I don't think I'm quite ready to do camping on my own,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker made a small face at the mention of scrapbooking. But this was also the man who had only a handful of family photos that had survived over the years and a few from his days in the special ops. So the novelty of having enough photos to make a book out of them was a bit new to him. "No worries, Nick" he said with a reassuring grin. "I was due for some vacation time myself and Lester was about to force me to take it. So, this seemed like a win-win arrangement for us both."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, "I've never done a proper vacation, I mean I did go on the school trips but I was technically working then as a teacher ... I've never done a vacation where it was just being somewhere I wasn't working," He paused, "I think this is something that I definitely needed though, getting away from everything ... probably should have done it sooner to be honest, might not have spiralled so badly if I had,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well, they say hindsight is 20/20" Becker said as he put a hand on Cutter's shoulder and gave a small grin. "Important thing is you are taking care of it now." And with the tent ready and the firewood handy, Becker had a fire going in no time. "Hope you are ok with a campout tradition and hotdogs will be good for dinner? Will get some better grub for us tomorrow when we're not racing the clock as much."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, returning the small grin, "I've definitely gotten a crash course in hindsight these last couple of months that's for sure," "And hotdogs will be fine for dinner," he said, his stomach rumbling a little, "I think I've definitely worked up an appetite doing that hike that's for sure,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Makes two of us" Becker said with a grin as he gave his own rumbling stomach a pat. "There's plenty in the cooler and Im hoping in the next day or two to get some fishing done so we can have fresh fish as well." "But sometimes quick and easy is what matters most." Becker took out the hotdogs and closed the cooler and handed one of the roasting sticks over and tilted his head slightly as he considered Cutter. "Please tell me you have roasted hot dogs over a campfire before."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, "well not me personally," he admitted, "I mean, I've seen it done before?" he tried, "but that's about us far as I've gotten with hot dogs I'm afraid,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Oh then we are definitely doing this old-school" Becker said, grabbing the other stick with a grin. "And we are also doing s'mores because I refuse to have a camping trip without s'mores." Because yes, he could be such a child at times, despite everything.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I've never actually done s'mores either, all the camping I've ever done was always related to my digs, I was always up researching and making notes, I didn't take the time to spend time just enjoying being out in the outdoors," Cutter admitted, "there's a lot of things I've missed out on because I was always working," His marriage, his friendships ... Connor ...
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker gave a small, sympathetic smile at that. He knew that feeling of work taking up everything you had all too well. "It can be hard to break out of that when you get to that level of obsession and commitment to work. That balance is easy to lose and hard to get back." Becker sighed as he fiddled with the fire a bit to make sure it was ready for them to start cooking. "That's what this week is for right? Baby steps to start working on that... for both of us."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded at that, “it’s something that I know I need to work on, I think this trip is going be what I need to try and get wrapped in my work,” he hesitated, “to try and get back to basics,” He paused, “well I didn’t bring any of my research papers or lesson plans, I actually brought a book to read,” he smiled softly at that, “that’s a good start right?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"That's a very good start" Becker said with a smile, knowing just how hard the whole relaxing and not working thing was for Cutter. It was a defense mechanism he still had to check himself for regularly. "Only thing I brought other than the camping gear and all was my laptop- no internet and just however long the battery lasts.... but I figure I might get a little time somewhere to work on my book," Becker said with a small somewhat shy grin of his own.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked up at Becker with great interest, “you’re writing a book?” he couldn’t help but ask, “fiction or non fiction?” he tried to picture what kind of book Becker would write. He paused, remembering about what Dr. Taylor said about not being too demanding, “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking,” he added.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker smiled at that. "Don't mind at all. It's kind of a mix of both... It's partly based off my experience with special ops, but of course, I can't give out much about the specifics of when and where. So fiction based loosely on real events." That was still a popular trend right? "It's been a long process. Started it when I was going through my own rehab and recovery... maybe someday I will actually finish it" he added with a small laugh.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter definitely looked impressed, “well I would like to read it if you ever do finish it,” he told Becker, “that sounds like it would be a really great read,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"First signed copy will go to you," Becker said with a warm smile and slight laugh. "Hand delivered and all hot off the press- whenever that day comes. And speaking of hand delivered... I wanted to let you know, I have a flat in London. Nothing big or fancy, but there's a couch for you to crash on if you ever need to get away, just take a break from things. Will get you a key if you think it would be something you could use." Becker gave Cutter a small smile at that, hoping he wasn't making things too awkward. He just wanted him to know that he had a safe place he could go anytime he needed.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked surprised at that but he gave a warm smile, “I would like that,” he said, feeling tears spring to his eyes, “I would really like that, thank you,” he wiped away the tears that had started to fall. “I …I haven’t been back to the house yet,” he admitted, “too many memories,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I kinda figured as much. Totally understandable and normal considering," Becker said as he went to put a hand on Cutter's shoulder. "You know you are always welcome at the ARC but if you need someplace a little more quiet and less crowded, you know where you can come. I'll get you a key made soon as we get back to civilization."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled warmly at that, "I think I might take you up on that offer," he said, "I've been crashing at my office in the ARC, more than what I should be," he paused, "I was doing that a lot before I moved to Fandom, I only ever went back to the house with Connor and now ..." He hesitated, trying to push forward and be more honest with his feelings as he had been working on with Dr. Taylor but it was still hard, "I was honestly thinking of maybe selling the house, I mean considering that ...that Helen knows the address, it would be the first place she would look ..." he trembled a little, he still didn't like mentioning Helen's name but that was another thing that he was working on.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"With the length of time you have been there, I can't say I am surprised," Becker said, though now he WAS a bit curious just how much of a mess that office would be. "But that is talk for another time. Right now is vacation time and, more specifically, dinner time" Becker said with a grin as he stood up from the fire pit. "We should be good to go with the fire for a while. So... time for hotdogs?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned at that, "I think it's a perfect time for hotdogs," he said as he stomach rumbled loudly again, "I'm really looking forward to this," did he mean the dinner or the actual camping trip itself or both, it was hard to tell but he was looking forward to sitting down at the campfire with Becker and enjoying the experience of eating hotdogs while camping.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Now, the most important question when starting to cook hotdogs over a fire... A little toasty, crispy, or something in between?" Becker had to grin. "Im a bit of a slightly burnt guy myself really."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, "I do quite like the idea of slightly burnt as well," he admitted and paused, "mostly because my cooking tends to result in things being burnt, so I got used to the taste after a while,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Man after my own heart" Becker said with a grin as he got his hot dogs ready and over the fire. "It's how mine usually end up anyways so it works for me." And with that Becker settled back and started relaxing and getting into the moment and just enjoying what they were doing and what was going on right then and there.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Sounds perfect," Cutter smiled as he got settled down and watched Becker with the hot dogs, he had never gotten to enjoy the proper experience of a campfire before so he was determined to make the most of every moment that he could on this camping trip.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker smiled as he demonstrated the perfect - because it was his method and had always worked well for him so why change- method for getting the hotdog done. He smiled seeing Cutter relaxing and smiling.... this trip was going to be good for him.... for them both if he was honest with himself.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter paid close attention to how Becker did his hotdogs, "it looks quite simple enough," he grinned as he watched, then again Cutter had thought a roast would be simple and then that had not turned out so well, "can I give it a try?"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Of course, not a true campout without doing up some yourself" Becker said with a grin as he handed the other roasting stick over to Cutter. "Got plenty of hotdogs in the cooler so help yourself. I also got the stuff for s'mores in there, but I think we will wait till another day for those."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that as he took the roasting stick and got out a hot dog so that he could start to cook his own hotdog, carefully following the technique that Becker had used. “Well we do have a whole week, plenty of time for s’mores later,” he considered.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Plenty of time for all the cooking, hiking, swimming, and exploring. No need to rush things. Plenty of time to get everything out of this trip" Becker said as he finished up his hot dog and pulled it off the stick.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter hesitated a bit at the idea of swimming but he pushed the fear down, they were having a nice time being here and cooking hotdogs and he didn't want to ruin it with his fears. This trip was to get away from everything for a while and not think about everything that had happened. "That ... that all sounds good," it took a moment before he could focus on what he was saying, "I'm looking forward to ... trying as many different things as I can," he said softly as he focused on holding his hotdog and getting it to that slightly burnt stage.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker wasn't an idiot and someone didn't go through years of spec ops training without picking up on things like tone and body language. He knew something was bothering Cutter, he just didn't know what. But he didn't want to make Cutter uncomfortable so he didn't push. But he did make a mental note to be watchful for that shift again. "There's supposed to be some good fossil spots around here from what I found when I was trying to figure out where we should go." Becker hoped that would get Cutter back to a better mindset and keep his mood up.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, smiling softly at that as he checked over his hotdog, “I would like that,” he said, looking a little more cheerful at the idea of fossil hunting and he was trying very hard to focus on that aspect rather than being near the water, “have you ever been fossil hunting before?” he asked Becker curiously.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Can't say that I have. The closest I've been to searching for fossils is trying to recover stolen artifacts behind enemy lines" he said with a small smirk. "And I have a feeling fossils are a little less dangerous to uncover. But it always did look kinda fun. Though... I am sure it is nothing like in the movies."
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Plenty of time for all the cooking, hiking, swimming, and exploring. No need to rush things. Plenty of time to get everything out of this trip" Becker said as he finished up his hot dog and pulled it off the stick.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Oh that sounds like quite a story," Cutter grinned at that, "but yes, fossils aren't anywhere near that dangerous ...I can teach you how to hunt for them if you'd like? We can see if there are many trilobites out here," Cutter perked up quite a bit at the idea of finding a trilobite in the Scottish highlands.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"That sounds great. Have always thought it would be fun to go on a hunt or something! I definitely think we can work that into one of our days out there" Becker said with a smile. "And as for the story, maybe you'll get to hear it one night here around the campfire."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled warmly, feeling a lot better now as his hotdog was ready and he took it off the fire, "I'll hold you to that," he said as he got his hotdog ready to eat, "and I can definitely show you how to do a fossil hunt," he promised.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well, sounds we have a great start to the trip planned. Here's too a perfect getaway" Becker said with a grin and started on his hotdog.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, "here, here," he nodded as he got his own hotdog and started to eat it as well, "okay, I think this might be the best hotdog I've ever had," he declared, "the burnt parts definitely add to the flavour,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Man after my own heart" Becker said around another bite. "Extra fiber and flavor-cant go wrong." And Becker took a moment to watch Cutter and smiled, glad to see him enjoying himself and having a good time. Hopefully the trip would have many more opportunities, but for now, Becker was going to take comfort in that smile on Cutter's face. This was going to be a good trip.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned at that as he settled down to munch into his hot dog, "we definitely have to have these again before the end of the trip," he added, taking another bite and taking the moment to enjoy it.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Oh I am sure we will" Becker said with a grin. "I am sure we will." And with that, he finished off the first hotdog and grabbed another one to start cooking, just enjoying the moment, almost as much as Cutter seemed to.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, relaxing as he settled down to enjoy the evening and take the time to enjoy his slightly burnt hotdog. He was feeling confident about this trip and that this trip would be good for him.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter had tried to fall asleep but he was finding that he was having trouble doing so, every time he closed his eyes all he could see was that day in the cell when Helen had kept trying to drown him in that water. He could feel that water over him, that claustrophobic feeling … the way he couldn’t breathe, the water burning his lungs. Finally he gave up trying to sleep and decided to go for a walk, maybe the fresh air would help him try and get to sleep long enough that he wouldn’t keep having those terrible dreams.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker was actually up as well, sitting by the fire, his back to the tent and he watched the light and shows from the still-burning campfire dance across the campsite. He had heard Cutter stirring and heard him leave the tent but he didn't turn around or say anything at first. If Cutter just needed some air or wanted to be alone, he didn't want to pressure him or anything.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter didn’t notice Becker at first, those vivid images still playing in his mind. He took several deep breaths and then he let out a sob and he started trembling. He hated how week this was making him, the trip was supposed to be about moving on from what happened and now it was like he had never left the cell.
Becker(thearcfamily)	That sob caught his attention and Becker turned around. When he saw the state Cutter was in he was on his feet and at his side in an instant. "Nick... Nick, are you ok? What's wrong?" he asked gently, the concern evident though as he spoke.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter started trembling and he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, “sorry I …I couldn’t sleep, I keep seeing …” he had never told anyone about that day Helen had tried drowning him, he couldn’t bring himself to bring it up, “I …I feel so stupid,” he let out another sob.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Hey... hey, it's alright Nick" Becker said as he put a hand on Cutter's shoulder to try and steady him. "Calm down" he said gently "take a deep breath for me ok, can you do that for me Nick?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter shook and tried to take a deep breath but it ended up hurting to breathe and he had to stop for a moment, the panicking feeling he had felt when Helen had tried drowning him resurfacing … he swayed a little bit as he tried to get his breathing under control but it hurt, his lungs felt like they were burning … “Helen no please, stop,” he let out a whimper before he could stop himself.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker watched, concern on his face as he noted the signs in how Cutter was acting. "Nick... you're safe... you're here with me. Helen's not here" Becker said softly as he tried to help Cutter the short distance to the fire pit and help him sit down.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	It took Cutter a few more moments to calm down, to realise that he wasn't back in his cell, he half collapsed against Becker as they made their way to the fire pit. He weakly sat down, taking several deep breaths as he did. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "I'm sorry,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"That's it... nice and easy..." Becker said as he lead Cutter over, easily supporting his weight as he helped Cutter sit down. Becker stayed beside him and once Cutter was sitting down he sat down beside him, keeping that arm around him as he did. "Nick... there's nothing to be sorry about, nothing at all." Becker reached over for the canteen he had had with him and handed it over to Cutter.
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter hesitated as he took the canteen, reminding himself that he needed to drink water ... he couldn't be afraid of that and he took a quick gulp of water, swallowing it and taking another deep breath. "Feel so stupid," he said quietly, staring at the last of the fire embers in the pit, "it happened months ago ... I shouldn't be letting it affect me so much," he trembled.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Nick... you've been through things no person ever should have had to endure. It's going to take time... and I know that is the last thing you probably want to hear right now, I get it, I really do. But it will get better." Becker watched Cutter closely for a moment. "You survived because you are strong. You are anything but stupid. Dealing with trauma like this it.... it takes time, and I am always here, to do anything I can."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter stared down at the canteen in his hand, “I feel so weak,” he said quietly, “I … I don’t sleep well and when I do … I’m always back there with her, what she and Stephen did to me …” He took a deep breath, steadying himself, “on that second day …she …” his hands shook, “I … she … she had a bucket of water and she … I was handcuffed, I couldn’t move and she held my head under … she kept … she kept holding me under … I couldn’t breath and I …” he let out another sob, wiping away tears that had started to fall again.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker sat there listening, the cycle between sadness and anger rolling with waves as Cutter spoke. He knew they had been through hell and he had heard of what Helen was capable of. But listening to Cutter, it was like he was recounting something Becker and his men had seen more time than he wanted to remember. Becker had seen near drownings in interrogations and torture many times. He had had men experience it and he knew what physical and mental damage it could do. And Nick, with no military training or preparedness, had been subjected to it... it was no wonder he was struggling so bad. "Oh Nick," Becker said softly, rubbing Cutter's back gently as he spoke. "You've been through something that trained men have struggled to deal with. You should never have had to experience that."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter sobbed quietly, unable to stop those tears from falling, "I ... lately every time I step in the shower it's ... it's all I can think of, I can't ... I can't stand to be near the water ..." He hated how weak that admission made him feel, that his nightmares were getting worse instead of better.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"That would be a common fear association, Nick" Becker said gently. "It just sucks when it is something so simple and so common isn't it? Fearing a certain place, a sound, a smell, water..." Becker paused a moment and glanced over towards the fire and took a deep breath. "... or the dark. The simple fears can be the hardest after dealing with trauma like we have."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked up at Becker then, noting his own hesitation and the use of the word ‘we’. He nodded, rocking back and forth slightly, “how … I ... I don’t know how to move past this … how do you manage, with …with everything?” He bit his lip as he tried to stop the tears.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"It's not easy. And in a way you never do get past it, you just learn to manage it and live with it. Lord knows I wish there was a magic word and something that would take it all away... but there isn't." Becker thought for a moment, his own attention drifting back to the fire just then for a bit. "For me... it was finding ways to cope. To cope with the fear,the panic, and uncertainty when I couldn't avoid things. I... for me it's been a process of making one small goal, achieving it, and then setting another. But when one of your fears, your triggers is something as simple as the dark, it can seem overwhelming." Becker turned back to look at Cutter and put a hand on his shoulder gently."But you can do it Nick. I know you can."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter closed his eyes at that, letting out another small sob, “it’s … I feel like … she’s taken away my whole identity, she took away everything I love … and I’m afraid she’s going to win,” “I can’t even go to the beach without thinking about what she did …” he trembled, “I … I haven’t been fossil hunting since everything happened,” He stared down at his hands, flinching at them as he flexed them slightly … and the tears started falling again, his hands shaking as his did.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"It's a process, one that takes time and is often harder than expected. But I know you can do this. You are here Nick, you survived, you are here fitting this. Helen hasn't won. You will get your strength back, you will get back to your fossils and your trilobites, you will find your way through this." Becker thought for a moment then looked at Cutter again. "I know what it's like. I can share what my experiences have been and what has helped me with everything," Becker offered gently, not wanting to push Cutter but also wanting to help him find his way through this.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter couldn't say anything at first, he just nodded and wiped away those tears as he tried to stop crying. Finally he calmed down enough to speak, "I ... I would like that ..." he said softly, "if ... if you don't mind sharing them with me,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded towards the canteen in Cutter's hand, trying to gently get him to drink a little more as he started. "You need to know a little about what happened to understand why I struggled with what I did. I told you that my injury happened because of an AV mine. But I... was captured and taken captive." Becker stared down at the ground for a moment as he took a slow deep breath. He hadn't talked about what happened in a long time,even though he had relived it almost every day since then. "They knew I was special ops, valuable to the team, so they wanted to use us for ransom and for intel. They used the usual tactics that you train and try to prepare for in case you are captured, but you can only prepare so much. I... I basically spent three, four, maybe it was five days.... bound with hands behind me, gagged, and blindfolded."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter took a deep breath and very slowly started to drink some of the canteen, shaking a little bit as he drank the water but he managed to get it stay down. He listened to Becker’s story, “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said softly, “how … how did you manage to get out?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"High risk rescue mission. Could have just as easily gone sideways. But I got out, I got away but..." Becker reached over for the canteen and took a drink before he continued. "But I wasn't free. I had... and still do... struggle with... feeling restrained. It... it took me a long time to be able to even wear a watch again. And... I still " Becker turned his gaze towards the fire for a moment and took a slow deep breath. "I still don't like not being able to see. So, sleep's been a bit of a challenge for some time."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter handed Becker over the canteen as he reached for it, “how you do cope with it?” he asked softly as he listened to Becker tell his story, “I …I also don’t like being in tight spaces after a while, after that cell ..,sometimes I can barely stand to be in my flat at Fandom …I haven’t slept properly since I got back to Fandom,” he admitted, slumping his shoulders a bit.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I'm not going to lie and give you some false illusion of there being an easy fix. It's a long process. I'm still working on it and have good days, bad days, and really bad days still. What... what works best for me if finding ways to distract myself, focus on something else and keep my mind and body busy so it cant start spiraling as badly." Becker looked over at Cutter for a moment. "It's not a cure-all and it doesn't always work as well for everyone, but I can teach you one of the methods I use and see if it helps you..." "It's called the 5 4 3 2 1 method and is something my therapist taught me and worked with me on. It's been a big help to me when the panic attacks hit, and I feel myself start to spiral. Basically, you name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It forces you to focus on other things and keeps your mind busy for a bit to try and short-circuit the spiraling thoughts. You can do it anywhere you are really and can do it as many times as you need."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter listened carefully as Becker described the technique, “and you can do this at any point?” he asked quietly, “there’s no specific time of day you gave to do it?” At this point he was willing to try anything to try and help him sleep.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Any time, anywhere" Becker said with an encouraging nod. "I've done it in the middle of the night, in my living room, in the car stuck in traffic... whenever you need to, you can do this." Becker looked at Cutter for a moment. "We can try it now, if you'd like."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter fidgeted slightly but nodded, “I’d, I’d like that, thank you” he said softly and took a deep breath, “so it’s um, you start with five things you see?” he asked, to double check that he had heard all of Becker’s instructions.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Right, five things you can see. Some people keep it to what they can see where they are and others will turn around and move to see whats around them. No right or wrong way, whatever you feel like doing."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter took a deep breath, “okay,” he said taking a moment to steady himself, “I … I can see trees, um … the campfire,” he began to look around, “the sky,” the fog had lifted a bit and he could see the night sky full of stars, he looked back around, “um .. the tent and …” he hesitated as he tried to focus on a fifth thing he could see, “um … the ground?” He said rather uncertainly after a few moments.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Good" Becker said with an encouraging smile. "And I can see my duffle bag, the moon, the cooler, my boots, and I can see you." Becker gave a small nod as he looked back over at Cutter. "Next is four things you can feel-preferable things you can feel right now but things nearby that you know what they feel like can work too."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter took another deep breath, feeling himself start to become relaxed and focused, "okay four things I can feel ... I can feel the log we're sitting on, I can feel the breeze ..." he bit his lip as he tried to think of something else, some self doubt creeping in before he pushed through, "I feel ... the ground beneath my feet and I can feel the warmth from the fire..."
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Excellent" Becker said with a small grin. Cutter was picking up on it a lot faster than he had, and Becker could only hope it would help him some. "I can feel the hole in my sock, the shirt I'm wearing, my hair blowing in the breeze, and I can feel my heart beating."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter's breathing was becoming a lot more steady and calmer, as he listed off his answers and then listened to Becker's, "so it's 3 things you can hear next?" he checked.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded. "It gets a little more challenging as you go down the list, Which is why there's only three things," he said with a small smile. "And if you can't think of three, then mention sounds you like."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded as he gave it some thought, "I can you hear you talking," he closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to concrete on the sounds around him, "I can the leaves in the trees and ...I can hear my heart beating," He opened his eyes again, taking another slow deep breath.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And I hear an owl in the distance, the crackle of the fire, and the sound of our voices. And that puts us to two things we can smell."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, he was getting more and more focused on each number and was finding that it was helping him calm down, "I can smell the fire burning," he said and he paused, concentrating once more on his surroundings as he tried to narrow down a a particular scent, "I can smell the wood of the trees," he settled on.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"While I smell the hotdogs from earlier still and the smell of rain, probably from the fog earlier." Becker was also feeling more relaxed and gave Cutter a nod. "Last one. One thing you can taste."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded and he had to give it another thought before he finally settled on his response, "I can taste the water in my mouth from the drink I had earlier," he said, nodding in the direction of the canteen Becker had.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And I can taste the wood smoke from the fire." Becker closed his eyes and sat for a minute and then turned to look at Cutter. "How are you feeling now, Nick?" he asked, hopeful that it had helped at least some.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter took several deep breaths, he wasn’t feeling on edge anymore, and for once he wasn’t been bombarded with images of the water and the cell, “I’m … I’m actually feeling really good right now,” he said softly, “that … it helped a lot, thank you,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker smiled and gave a small sigh of relief. "Good, I am glad. It's something that has always helped me stay grounded when I felt myself starting to slip a bit. And you can always do modified versions, to fit a situation you are in or to accommodate a specific need one time."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, giving a small smile, “I’ll have to remember for next time,” he said softly, “it … I don’t feel as anxious, or scared … I …I definitely needed this, thank you Becker,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You're welcome Nick. And remember, you can do this anytime, And you can change up the numbers and such to accommodate where you are" Becker explained. "If you are home you may have more things you can touch or hear, if you are out somewhere then sounds or smells might be more numerous. The general goal is to give yourself something to focus on and to have some structure to keep your mind from starting that spiral."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, "I'll remember," he said softly, "I think it's something I'll need, especially once I start to tell more people about ... about what happened back in the cell," he admitted, "I ... I've only talked a little bit about what happened with Dr. Taylor, I haven't been able to ... to talk a lot about it,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"The fact you are talking now and taking these steps speaks volumes fort he strength you have Nick. I'm proud of you, for what it's worth" Becker said with a sincere smile and a hand on Cutter's shoulder.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter gave a small smile at that, “thank you,” he said softly, “for everything, not just for tonight … for coming with me on this trip, I … wouldn’t have made it this far without you Becker, I would still be lost in the mess that’s in my head right now,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"As much as I might have helped you... you need to know, Cutter, that you have helped me. Tremendously. You and the entire team, have given me a purpose, a mission to focus on. But most of all, you have given me someone I can turn to and trust. You've given me someplace I feel like I belong, and I never thought that would happen again. So, thank you."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled warmly at that, his hand going to the dog chains that he wore around his neck, he didn't quite know what to say but nodded, "you're welcome, I guess we've been able to help each other through everything,"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	A couple of days later and Cutter felt confident enough to try fossil hunting. It had been a while since he had last been and he was really nervous, especially being near the water but talking with Becker the other night had helped and he felt better equipped to deal with his fear now. “There are quite a number of different fossils that you can find,” Cutter explained, “my favourite ones to look for are trilobites but sometimes they can be particularly hard to find, we’re more likely to find ammonites out here,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Looking forward to it" Becker said as he shifted the pack on his shoulder. "Never done it before, so it will definitely be an experience. We got everything we need?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I think so,” Cutter said as he got out his own backpack and had a look at the tools that he was carrying, “we have chisels, a compass, safety glasses, knee pads, notebooks, a magnifying glass and brushes,” he mentally ran over his list, he hadn’t been sure if he would get the opportunity to go fossil hunting or if he would be brave enough to do it while on the trip so he had packed his equipment just in case he changed his mind.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Sounds good, and I got the rest of the gear, the popup in case we stay here an extra day, some food, fire starter, and everything else." Becker gave a grin to Cutter. "Think we are ready as we will ever be. Lead the way, Professor," Becker said with a small wink as he waited to follow Cutter to their dig site.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter returned the grin, as nervous as he was about this, he was also really looking forward to doing this again and being able to show someone new how to fossil hunt, "I thought we would try that river a bit further up," he said as he started to lead the way, "I think that looks like a good place for us to begin our fossil hunt,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Good place because the river keeps eroding the rocks? Exposes new fossils over time?" Becker guessed. He knew the basics, but it was definitely not something covered in any of his training so he was interested to see how it turned out.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, "that's right," he said, "especially when they're near gravel, it can guide us since the fossils tend to mix with the gravel, so once we follow the gravel beds we should hopefully be able to find a good mix of fossils,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well, glad you know your stuff then, cuz a rock looks like a rock to me" Becker admitted with a somewhat sheepish grin. "But hopefully we can find those fossils and get some nice ones to show the team." Becker watched Cutter as they made their way up to the river. He seemed tobe doing better than he had been a few days ago, and Becker was proud of him for getting out and facing his fears and pushing to do something he would enjoy. It was good progress.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that as they walked towards the spot that looked like a good place to spot, “we may even be able to find some trilobites out here,” he looked rather cheerful at the thought. It had been so long since he had felt excited about any of his hobbies and it was nice to feel excited about fossil hunting again.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"So, I know ammonites. Not sure I am very familiar with the trilobites" Becker said as he set the pack down once Cutter had picked out their starting point. Did he really not know anything about trilobites, or was he just giving Cutter every opportunity possible to talk about something he loved and was passionate about? Did it really matter if it worked and if it helped distract him from everything going on for the afternoon at least? "They're usually fairly small right?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter honestly didn’t mind whether Becker knew about trilobites or not because he loved any excuse to be able to talk about them, “most of the time they are,” he nodded, “but the Paradoxides were actually up to 60cm in size, compared with the usual 3-6 cm size if most trilobites and then some trilobites could only be millimeters in size,” he babbled rather excitedly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"A nearly two-foot long bug? No thank you, that sounds like a nightmare to me" Becker said but there was a grin on his face. It was good to see Cutter so relaxed and excited, thinking about something he enjoyed rather than everything else. "I take it the smaller to medium-sized ones are the most common ones found. And there'd likely be other similar fossils in the area as well also even if there's no trilobites, we might find something interesting otherwise."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter laughed at that, "fair enough," he said with grin of his own, "and it will be very rare to come across one of those," even though from the way his eyes gleamed it was obvious that one day he was hoping to come across one, "but there should be some good fossils here, most likely ammonites like you mentioned before but I always do love coming across trilobites in different locations,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"So, are there any particular signs to look for to find what might be a fossil among all the rocks and rubble? Or is it more a matter of finding the best possible ones and checking them one by one?" One sounded like a lot more work than the other, but both could be fun and Becker was looking forward to it either way. Though he was hoping to find some good fossils as well.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter honestly didn’t mind whether Becker knew about trilobites or not because he loved any excuse to be able to talk about them, “most of the time they are,” he nodded, “but the Paradoxides were actually up to 60cm in size, compared with the usual 3-6 cm size if most trilobites and then some trilobites could only be millimeters in size,” he babbled rather excitedly.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Well one way you can tell the difference is by licking it to see whether it’s a rock or a fossil,” Cutter said with a grin as he looked to see what Becker’s reaction was to that, “but if you don’t fancy trying it that way, the best course is try and compare them, fossils are usually different colour and smoother than rocks,” he explained.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker raised an eyebrow suspiciously and looked at Cutter for a moment before shaking his head. "Yeah, I'm not going to lick any rocks today, I'll pass" he said with a small chuckle. "So darker or lighter than the stone and smooth.... There's also imprint fossils, right? I... cant remember what they are called. But fossils of like leaves and footprints and such, right?" Becker was getting more and more into this just for the sake of doing it. That enthusiasm Cutter had for this was definitely contagious!
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Becker’s reaction was everything that he had hoped for and he gave enough a grin at that, “I can do any licking of fossils if need be,” he volunteered, even though he shouldn’t have sounded so cheerful about that prospect. Then he considered the next part of what Becker was saying. “Trace fossils,” Cutter smiled as he he started to get their gear set up so they could start their search, “they’re called that because they only have the traces of an organism, like a leaf and a footprint as you mentioned,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker gave Cutter a bit of a side eye there at that. With anyone else he would have wondered if they were mad... but this was Cutter. Excentric was his middle name, and it fit him.... and Becker couldn't deny he was glad to see that Cutter showing up. He knew there were be good days and bad but he was going to enjoy this good day as much as he could. "All fossil licking is your department, Nick" he said with a dry laugh. "I'll handle the hammering and cracking things open bit."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter laughed at.that as he got out some tools to hand over to Becker so he could start his own search, “aye, it’s an acquired taste,” he grinned as he got out his own tools to start looking, “but it’s fun, are you sure you don’t want to try it?” he said, trying to look innocent as he said but was failing miserably.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Quite sure" Becker said with a deadpan expression that didn't last more than a few seconds before he broke into a grin. He took the tools from Cutter and then looked at the area of the river where they were. "What do we do first?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter returned that grin as he had a look at the river, "we'll have a look at the river bend there, that's usually a good spot to start," he also got out some safety glasses and handed a pair over to Becker, "we'll need these before we begin to chisel away at the rocks," he added.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Dont happen to have these in something a little more stylish, do you?" Becker asked as he slipped them on. Yes, yes he was teasing Cutter a bit, and honestly, after everything the last few months... it felt good to be almost normal and to be hanging out and joking around with a co-worker and more importantly a very good friend. "Ok so got the hammer and chisel and everything. So, start chipping away and see if we find anything huh?" If there was any playful hint of mock boredom or uncertainty in his voice, once look at the grin on his face would let Cutter know that Becker was also as excited to do this as he was!
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter laughed at that as he put his own safety glasses on, “fossil hunting isn’t exactly fashionable I’m sorry to say,” he grinned, “but we start using the chisel and hammer to break away the rocks and then we start sifting through them, see what we can find,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Sounds good, let's get started!" Becker said as he grabbed his canteen and took a drink before setting it down with his pack and heading over to one of the rocks to start chipping away at it. It took a little trial and error to figure out the best way to approach this and how hard (or not hard usually in Becker's cases) to hit the rock to get it to break the right way.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled as he made his way over to a rock and started to do the same, only his was a lot more precise since he had been doing this for a lot longer. Every now and then he had to stop at the pain in his hands, since they weren’t used to so much physical activity. It felt nice being able to do this again, even if his hands were no longer up to the challenge that they used to but he was determined to keep at it, this was one of his favourite hobbies and he wasn’t going to let Helen take it away from him. “How are you going?” He looked over to see how Becker was doing with his rocks.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker turned from the rock he had been whittling away at and lifted the small bucket. "Got about half filled. Was gonna go start sorting and washing them to see what we find." Becker considered Cutter for a moment. He had been watching him out of thecorner of his eyes and glancing over now and then, He had seen Cutter stopping a few times and rubbing his hands and he knew they were bothering him some. But he wasn't going to bring it up unless Cutter did. "How are you fairing over there?"
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter nodded, “I’m nearly done with this one here,” he said, indicating his own bucket and then glanced down at his hands and bit his lip, “I … I din’t realise just how much physical exertion something like this uses, my hands aren’t quite up to it just yet,” he admitted softly. “But they’ll get better, they just need to get more use again,” he said, it was more to convince himself that they would rather than anything but he couldn’t stop the doubt forming that his hands were that bad that he wouldn’t be up for things like fossil hunting and going on digs.
Becker(thearcfamily)	After watching Cutter closely for a moment Becker nodded as he grabbed his bucket and started over. "It's a lot to jump back into" he said as he held out his hand in a silent offer to take the bucket for the moment. "You've filled your bucket more than mind so I would say that is pretty impressive all things considering," he said with an encouraging smile as they started towards the river. "My first real outing after my injury, my normal five mile trail I used to run, I barely made it half a mile walking before I had to quit. Its a progress and you are doing amazing Nick. You'll get there."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter gave a small grateful smile as he handed over the bucket to Becker. "I just feel like I should be able to do more," he said softly and glanced down at his hands, flinching slightly as he did, "it's ... I mean ... they're my hands, I just feel like I should be able to use them more and I know the doctors told me that there's a chance I'll never get the strength back in them ... " He sighed and then looked back up at Becker, "how were you able to get back to doing your run?" he asked quietly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker carried the buckets as he walked with Cutter and listened to him. He was silent for a moment as he sat them down by the shallow area at the edge of the river and then sat down himself. "It was hard, there were a lot of times I felt like I was going backward and I felt like giving up. Took nearly a year of Physical therapy before I could walk on my own fully. The running took time. I had to remind myself that I was basically starting over again in many ways,learning to walk again. No one expects a toddler to walk or run perfectly right away. And it was unfair for me to expect that of myself." Becker had been focusing on his bucket, absently picking through some of the shards and bits of stone as he spoke. But then he looked back over at Cutter and gave a small smile. "You're learning to do things again, for the first time in many ways, Nick. It's going to be a slow process, and it wont always be easy. But you will get there. It might not ever be 100 percent where you were before, but you will find what you can do. I couldn't ever get back into good enough shape to enlist again, but I found other things I can do. You will do the same. I have no doubts about that. Nick Cutter is too stubborn to quit" he added with a genuine smile as he handed Cutter his bucket.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter did manage a smile at that as he started to look through his bucket, “I just can’t imagine not doing something related to palaeontology, I mean ever since I was a kid I wanted to go in to science…I mean I suppose I can just stay with the academic side of things, still be a teacher but going out in the field, even on a dig I may never have the strength to do that again and it scares me,” he finally admitted.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"It's natural to fear change and the loss of something you love," Becker sai softly. "But Im sure there are ways to combine the two. Could lead tours and lectures at dig sites- be involved but not necessarily swinging hammers and carrying buckets of rocks all day long. Just here and there. Still get to talk about the fossils, do more hands-on with the post "digging out of the ground" side of things. I know you will find something that you can still do. And whatever that is, you are going to be brilliant at it because you are passionate about it."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled softly at that, “I guess I could do something like that,” he tilted his head, “or do museum tours,” he said softly remembering his and Connor’s trip to the museum, he felt a pang of sadness as he remembered that, “we went to the Smithsonian just before …everything happened,” he hesitated, “I think most of the tourists thought I worked there, actually I think some of the staff did too,” he said sheepishly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I can definitely see you giving tours at a museum somewhere and teaching kids or adults all about fossils, and paleontology and everything you enjoy about this sort of thing" Becker said with a smile. "Sometimes a little shift is good. You can still do things you enjoy or are passionate about and use your skills or talents in a different way. If I managed to figure something out, I am sure you can too!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I guess I’ll have some things to think about it, career wise,” Cutter admitted softly, “I know I don’t want to go back to the university, I’m going to submit my resignation when it’s closer to the end of my sabbatical but I’m not sure about leading the team and my job at the ARC,” he said softly,
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker was silent for a moment as he picked a few more pieces of rock out of the pail, inspected them, and tossed them aside. "You have to do what is right for you, Nick. You know we all are here and are going to support you, no matter what you choose to do now or a year down the road." Becker hesitated a moment before continuing. "And as far as the position of leading and all... remember, there are many roles other than leader. Even if you choose not to lead the team you can still be involved, and be a valuable part of what we are doing. I know I would value working with you in any role or capacity and Im sure the rest of the team feels the same." Becker's tone softened a little as he watched Cutter. "It's hard facing change and feeling like you are being replaced or that old version of you is slipping away. But that doesn't mean there aren’t good things, new things waiting."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter was thoughtful as he looked through his own bucket, picked up a rock and then on closer inspection gave it a lick before tossing it away, since it wasn't the fossil he thought it might have been. "I would still like to keep working with you and with the team if I can," he said softly, "I'm ... I'm just afraid to make those decisions, that I'll mess everything up ... I've already done a brilliant job of that," he fell silent as he thought back to everything that had happened with Connor, how badly he had screwed that up. "Sometimes I just think that I'm ... I'm not meant to be happy, that I'm not worth anything ... that ... that Helen was right," he said that last part in a voice that was barely above a whisper and he suddenly found his bucket very fascinating.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I have to say, Nick Cutter, that is one of the most idiotic things I have heard you say" Becker said, his voice gentle but firm. "You deserve happiness and a good life as much as anyone else does. And I think we both know how insane Helen was... is... so you better know deep inside there" Becker pointed at Cutter as he spoke, "that she is wrong about you." "As for where you go from here, that is something you are going to have to work through. It's something that no one else can do for you, unfortunately, but you know we all are here for you and will support you and help you in any way we can. Whether that is staying with the ARC in some way or trying something new. We always have your back Nick."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter stared down at his bucket, “sorry,” he said quietly, “she . …she still finds a way to get into my head,” he sighed, rubbing his head as he did. He looked back up at Becker, his hand going to his dog tags for reassurance, “thank you, having your support means everything, I just wish I knew what to do …it would make it would much easier,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You are handling it all much better than I did" Becker said with a reassuring nod. He watched Cutter holding the dog tags and smiled. "The source of my trauma was a nameless, unknown terrorist. Your connection to Helen... it only makes sense its harder to push through it all. And you are still doing better than I was early on." Becker put a reassuring hand on Cutter's shoulder, mindful of the still healing burns. "You always have our support and will always be a part of the team. No matter what you end up doing. And you will figure it out, I have no doubt about that."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded with a very tiny smile at that, “thank you,” he said softly, “it’s … trying to process everything with Helen … even after starting therapy, it’s a lot to deal with …” he bit his lip, “it’s hard … I was married to her, we shared a home … I … I know I wasn’t the most attentive husband but when everything happened … “ his voice trialed off, it still hurt talking about her, “I should probably talk to Lester about my future as well,” he considered, “but I have time to do that right? It’s not something I have to decide on right away,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You have all the time you need, Nick. No one is going to pressure you for an answer or pressure you into what answer you go with. Lester is here anytime you need as well and I know he is just as committed to helping you get back on your feet and do whatever you decide to do. You have options and plenty of time Nick." Becker watched Cutter for a moment and then looked into his bucket and pulled out an interesting-looking bit. He studied it for a moment and shook his head as he handed it over. "Still not licking it," he said with a smirk. "Rock or fossil? Almost looks like there something in there but I cant tell."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter nodded as he absorbed all of that, “I’ll … I’ll think on what I want to do,” he said softly, “maybe I’ll make a decision after the end of the summer session before my sabbatical end, figure everything out then,” And then he couldn’t help but laugh at the last part, “I’ll lick it for you,” he grinned, maybe being a bit too eager as he took the offered object and then it turned out he didn’t to lick it as he recognised straight away what it was, “you found a trilobite,” he said excitedly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Really?" Becker said excitedly and he leaned back over to get another look. "That's a trilobite huh?" Becker glanced over at Cutter, waiting for the deluge of fast facts about what they had found. And he was trying not to grin as he watched Cutter's reaction.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“It’s a trilobite,” Cutter confirmed with a nod as he looked it over, “it’s so beautiful,” he remarked as he he held in his hand, turning it over, "this is over 500 million years old, it lasted several eras from the Cambrian to the Permian, it survived several extinction events," he held out the trilobite to Becker. “Would you like to keep it it? It’s your very first trilobite?” he said with a grin.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker smiled as he listened and then carefully examined the fossil as he took it from Cutter. "I'd love to. Thank's Nick." He examined it a little longer then looked over, a question forming in his mind. "So... is there anything special I should or shouldn't do to protect it? Bones and such get treated and preserved usually don't they? Does something similar have to be done for fossils in rock?" Never mind the excited grin on Becker's face. There was absolutely NO way he was starting to fall in love with all of this fossil hunting stuff. Don't be silly!
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, especially at seeing the grin on Becker's face, "you will have to clean the fossil, make sure its clear of mud and debris and then you use a acrylic resin to stabilise it," he explained, "and then you excavate the fossil from the matrix, it can be be quite painstaking work but its worth it in the end,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Sounds like something I will definitely need some expert help with" Becker said with a grin. He looked the fossil over a little longer and then handed it back to Cutter. "Keep it safe and we will figure out a time to get it cleaned up and looking nice." He glanced at his bucket and then Gave Cutter a playful smirk. "Who knows I might even find another fossil somewhere before we finish up today!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Look at you, we’ll make a palaeontologist of you yet,” Cutter promised with a grin, “and I can definitely help you clean out the fossils, we can use the lab at the ARC, I’m sure Lester wouldn’t mind,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Sounds good, and I am sure Lester won't mind. We might have several fossils to work on by the time we are done here." And yes look at him sounding more like an excited kid than a seasons military guy.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Well we still have quite a few of these to get through,” Cutter considered as he looked between his and Becker’s buckets, “maybe we’ll get lucky and we can bring a whole bucket full of fossils back,” he looked quite excited at the prospect.
Becker(thearcfamily)	”Feel like a little wager to who finds the most fossils today? Loser buys drinks." Yes Becker was being absolutely encouraging.
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter laughed as he picked up another object in his bucket and carefully looked it over, “you’re on,” he grinned, “I could go for a round of drinks, hope you’re prepared to pay big for them,” he said confidently.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You win and you get free drinks of your choice. Just hope you won't be disappointed when you lose to the new guy on the block" Becker said with a grin as he picked up another stone and hesitated before giving it the quickest of tiny licks... Not that he knew what to be looking for with that.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter wished he had had actually had his camera out because seeing Becker lick the rock was one of the best things he’d seen. He almost wouldn’t have minded losing after that. “You are so on,” He laughed as he picked up something from his bucket and examined it closely, he gave it a lick and studied it, “oh look I found an ammonite,” it wasn’t t as cool as a trilobite but it was still pretty incredible to find.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker admired the ammonite for a moment and then gave a mock glare as he reached into the bucket and pulled out a couple more stones and examined them. Neither one seemed to be anything worthwhile so he tossed each one aside one at a time before reaching back into the bucket. "Don't think I am going to just let ya win Nick." Becker studied the next rock he pulled out and gave a triumphant shout. "Ha! Found another one. Looks like a... trace fossil was it? It looks like a fern or something."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Well I’m not going to go easy on you just because you’re new at this,” Cutter grinned but he was taking a close look at the trace fossil that Becker had found and maybe he was a little jealous that Becker had found really cool fossils. “You did find a trace fossil,” he nodded, “it does look like a fern,” he agreed.
Becker(thearcfamily)	It wasn’t going to last very long, don't worry. Beginner's luck! “Surprised something delicate like that would be preserved at all."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	“It’s incredible how they’re formed,” Cutter said with a smile, “the process takes millions of years to fossilise, all from the act of an ancient organism leaving a trace of itself behind,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Amazing how we have any fossils at all really... Means there were probably lots of things we have no record of huh?" Becker said as he set the fern fossil down and started picking through his bucket again. As he did he kept glancing over at Cutter, the grin on his face mirroring his own.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, "it's what makes the fossil record so incredible," he couldn't help but gush as he started to go through his own bucket again, "but with all the mass extinctions, it really is remarkable we have so much evidence of the ancient past as we do, it really does help us fill in the gaps of our scientific history,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Really is a wonder those first humans ever made it far enough with all that going on" Becker mused as he tossed side another shard of rock.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Evolution certainly is fascinating," Cutter smiled as he checked another object, gave it a lick and sighed when it turned out to not be a fossil, he was really hoping to find a trilobite of his own. He tried to ignore the pang of sadness he felt at that, that was going to be his and Connor's class for the fall and the way things were going, he wasn't sure if they were even going to be teaching together for much longer. "How the world has been able to evolve and adapt and survive for hundreds of millions of years and humanity's place in all of this, it truly is remarkable," he said instead, trying to not think about Connor and classes right then.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"So... very important archeological type question for you" Becker said as he tossed aside a few other stones and shards. He looked at Cutter with a serious expression though it was obvious he waw fighting back a grin. "What is your favorite dinosaur?"
Cutter(thearcfamily)	“"That's easy, the Brachiosaurus," Cutter answered immediately, unable to stop his owngrin as he carefully checked out another interesting looking object , "so how about you, do you have a favourite dinosaur?"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I've always thought the spinosaurus was an interesting looking one" Becker said with a grin. "And as far as the non-dino creatures went, I always wondered if the Dodos were really as stupid as everyone seems to make them out to be."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Oh Connor has a spinosaurus tooth," Cutter said, talking about Connor without meaning to and winced a little, "I mean, I'm sure he'd show it to you if you asked him," and then he paused as he considered the rest of what Becker was saying, "and yeah the dodos are pretty stupid as everyone says," he told Becker, "we had a run in with them early on, back when we were still in the Home Office, turns out the Dodos were the least of our worries that day," he said, thinking back again to Connor and how he had lost one of his close friends.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I'll have to ask him about it next time I see him" Becker said, trying to sound as casual as he could and not dwell on Connor too much and put his attention back to his bucket for a moment. He pulled out one of the larger pieces and studied it for a good bit.Then slowly, he lifted it and gave it a quick lick and sighed. "No spinotooth here... just another rock."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled softly at that as he searched through his pile and took a closer look at an interesting looking object, he gave it a lick and grinned, "oh I found a graptolite fossil," he said, showing the fossil to Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I can see where that name came from" Becker said as he examined it. "Looks like pencil lines or something. Very cool find Nick!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned at that, "it is pretty amazing isn't it? Not as amazing as trilobites but they're pretty cool fossils as well," he nodded, rather pleased with the find.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You'll have to take these with you to show off to Dr. Taylor when you see him next" Becker suggested. "I know when I was seeing him regularly, he loved when I would bring things in to talk about. One of the first really good sessions I had with him was when I finally started to bit be a total jerk to him in our sessions, we spent the entire time talking about dog tags, military ranks and stuff like that."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked a bit surprised, “he will?” he smiled, “well I’ll have to make sure these are all properly cleaned and preserved then, maybe I’ll find a trilobite of my own and can tell him about them,” Because Cutter was going to convert everyone into seeing how amazing trilobites were.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"He's a talker,and he likes it when we talk" Becker replied with a grin. "So I think he would love to hear about our little fossil dig adventure here."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled softly, “I have noticed he’s a talker, it will be nice to talk about something other than … well everything else that we talk about in our sessions,” he admitted as he stared down at the fossil in his hand, turning it over as he stared at it.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Talking and listening are kind what he does after all" Becker grinned and then nodded. "It would be a nice change of pace for both of you I think- give you guys something else to talk about and all for a change. Show him what all you have done above and beyond that simple photo album project he gave you." Becker couldn't help but laugh a little at that. "I still cant believe he is still giving out that assignment even after all of these years!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I think he's probably tired about listening about my love life and all the problems its caused everyone," Cutter grimaced a little, "but I'll get these fossils cleaned up and I can show him when we have our next session," he tilted his head a little, "he made you do this assignment as well?" He tried really hard to picture Becker scrapbooking.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"He did. Or... at least he tried to" Becker said with a somewhat sheepish grin. "He ended up with a stack of photos and I think he knew that was all he was going to get and considered it progress. I wasn't exactly the most cooperative of his patients" Becker confessed probably to the surprise of no one really.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, "that doesn't sound like you at all," he teased gently, "Even though I do like that he's really patient, especially that first session when he did most of the talking and he didn't try to ask too many questions," he admitted softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"He's been doing this for a long time and has seen a lot of stuff and heard a lot of stories. Means he knows when to talk when to listen and when to push a little and when to let things slide." Becker thought back to all the times Dr. Taylor had done all of those things at one point or another with him all those years ago. "Even on my most stubborn days early on when I wouldn't talk or say more than two words to him at a time, he still managed tp get through a session without throttling me. So yeah. You are in good hands with him. I'm glad you like him."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter gave a soft smile at that, “he’s helped a lot already, even though I’ve only seen him a few times but I’m glad you recommended him,” he said softly, “it’s …I still have a long way to go but I’ve already noticed the difference with going to him,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"As have I," Becker said softly, giving Cutter a genuine smile. "Just a month or so ago I never would have thought you would be out like this beating on rocks and teaching me about fossils and everything. So definitely good progress, and much more to come" he said encouragingly.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, “I never thought we’d be here either but I’m glad we got to go on this trip, I think it was definitely needed and I’m glad I could teach you about fossils and how to hunt for them,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Guess you can teach an old dog new tricks after all.. or a grump old soldier in my case" Becker said with a grin.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter returned the grin, “well, I guess you can say the same about grumpy old professors,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well, here's to more adventures and lessons down the road" Becker said with a grin as he lifted one of the stones from his pail, gave it a look over and then tossed it aside.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was a little nervous about embarking on another hike so soon after the one they had taken to get up the camping ground but he knew that this walking would be good for him. He checked over his backpack of supplies for the hike, "I think we've got everything we need," he told Becker as he double checked what he'd packed.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And I got the gear, first aid kit, and food. Also gonna grab the pop up tent on the way out, it's on the porch. Not planning on needing it but ya know, better have it and not need it than need it and not have it right?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, "it's definitely better to be over prepared than not have something and then end up needing it," he agreed, "I've been on too many digs where important equipment got left behind," he paused, "okay so I may have been the one to leave something behind a couple of times but that was very early on," he said sheepishly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Oh I've been there, Boot Camp was rough and I had our Seargent down my throat more times than I care to remember because I forgot something on a 10 mile run or a training session."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter grimaced at that, "I can only imagine how that would have been," he said, "thankfully, I learnt pretty quickly to not make the same mistake and I didn't have any sergeants down my throat ..." he paused, "I did have my old palaeontology professor and he could be pretty tough, I nearly failed my practical course because I left behind some of the tools we needed,"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I've got my camera and the back up in case something happens," Cutter nodded at his back, "and that does sound like a good place for photos, should try and take as many different photos as I can for my scrapbook," he considered.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well we have photos of fossils, the camp site, a couple of sunrises and sunsets..." Becker said, counting them off on his fingers. "Im sure we can get some animals and plants and plenty of geological things for your scrapbook by the time we are done with this little excursion."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Animal, mineral and vegetable," Cutter grinned at that, "I think that should definitely be well rounded enough for the scrapbook, then it's just a matter of getting all the photos printed and arranged in the scrapbook," he considered.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"First part of that I can help with" Becker said, nodding to the camera around his neck. "The rest of it is sadly beyond my expertise." Because he was so not the scrapbooking type! "Well, let's be off then. The trail should be pretty level for the most part and not too tough to manage.:
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter smiled, “well a lot of this is beyond my expertise, up until last year I was using a flip phone still,” he admitted, hesitating a little as Stephen’s taunt echoed in his head from the day they were captured. He squashed it down, trying not to think about it, “but that’s good about the path, I was hoping to avoid tripping snd spraining my ankle,” Cutter still wasn’t quite at his physical peak that he had once been, even something like walking still took a lot of effort at times.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Tried to find an easy trail. And there are lots of places to stop along the way" Becker said softly as they walked. "Both to stop for a rest whenever you need and also for us to see a lot along the way and choose any spot as our turn around place."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded as he walked, “walking’s getting easier,” he said softly, “I’m still working on getting as fast as I used to be but …” he paused, “I know this will take time,” he admitted.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded, "And remember little steps add up. You might not be able to go a mile right off the bat but every time, you go five more minutes than last time, and you will get there. That is how recovery works." And boy was Becker speaking from experience there. "You have made amazing progress Nick, and you will keep getting better and stronger and faster. I have no doubt of that."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter gave a small smile at that, “it’s just taking some getting used to,” he admitted, “I used to take my physical fitness for granted, I never had to work hard to maintain it and now …I miss it,” he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You don't know and fully appreciate what you have until it's gone" Becker said with a small sympathetic nod. "And its ok to miss that and to grieve that part of your life that has changed. The key is to not stay there and to keep pushing on, even if the victory for the day is just getting out of bed or talking a five minute walk."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter nodded, "it's what I've been trying to work through, going to Dr. Taylor has helped me, being able to leave the past behind and move forward ...trying to adapt to a new future," he stared down at his hands, unable to stop the slight flinch as he looked at them, "I've never been good at that, learning to let go ... but I'm getting there," he said softly as he looked back up at Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker saw the flinch and he wished there was more he could do to help Cutter adapt and adjust to things. But he had been making amazing progress in many ways since he started talking to Dr. Taylor, and he would continue to do so. Becker had no doubt of that. "The past will always be a part of you, it helped make you who you are right now. But we cant live in the past and let it take our focus away from what is here right now in front of us. It was a hard lesson for me to learn" Becker admitted.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, “it seems I’m learning that lesson the hard way,” he said softly, “if I’d just been better about everything with Helen and Stephen …” he winced a little as he said their names, he bit his lip, “maybe ..,maybe I wouldn’t have lost Connor,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"The past has a way of haunting us at times. But usually there's nothing we can do to change what has happened." Becker said softly as he looked at Cutter. "Whatever happens now, with you, the team, Connor, all of it... it's all new and things you can work on and figure out." He gave Cutter a sympathetic nod. "And you might still have Connor back in your life, eventually. Just in a different way, that might be good for both of you. Only time will tell. And I know how hard that is, believe me, but you will get there Nick."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, “I guess it’s just another thing I have to work on with Dr. Taylor,” he admitted, “I …I want to get better at this, I guess I just have a lot of emotional baggage to work through,” He was going to have a great time at the next emotional baggage day wasn’t he?
Becker(thearcfamily)	So much fun.... "It will come with time...and speaking of time, I think we are making good time on this hike so far. lighting should be just about perfect for the first lookout spot" Becker said with a nod down the trail as he smiled. He hoped this hike would he good for Nick and give him some good things to think about and remember about this little camping adventure.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, “well I should be able to take some really good photos then,” he was finding that he was quite enjoying the process of taking photos and getting different angles and shots.
Becker(thearcfamily)	And that was a big part of why Dr Taylor tended to give this assignment so often. It was surprisingly fun, even for people like Becker. "Well here's your chance. We're here" Becker said with a grin as they turned the corner and came to the clearing and overlook into the valley.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Oh wow,” Cutter breathed as he took in the view and started to take as many photos as he could. “This is amazing,” he said as he took a few more and yes he did take a couple of photos of Becker as he did.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker smiled as he watched Cutter and enjoyed the view himself. He was so caught up in the scenery himself that he didn't notice Cutter taking photos of him at first. When he finally did, he smirked and then suddenly turned to face the camera and made a silly face as Cutter snapped the photo. See, Becker knew how to have fun too a times! "You do realize you are gonna have some of you as well, only fair" Becker said with a laugh.
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter laughed at the face that face Becker pulled and took a few more photos as he did, “ he lowered his camera, with a slight head tilt as he considered what Becker was saying, “well, I suppose I do need proof for Dr. Taylor that I was actually on this camping trip, don’t I?” he grinned.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well, I did snap a few with my camera during our fossil hunt" because he was sneaky like that. "But yeah could use a few more. I don't know if Dr. Taylor is doing the photo thing the same as he did when I was there. But he gave us a list of things to try and get photos of- kinda like a scavenger hunt. So if "get a photo of a crazy person' is on that sheet ya got some of me at least" he added with a laugh.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was not surprised at all to hear Becker had done that and he grinned. “Well it wasn’t, but he did have a list of some photos for me to get, I think I’ve covered about half of them,” he considered thoughtfully, “I suppose now’s a good time to try and get a couple of photos with me in them?” he started to hand the camera over towards Becker, “would you mind taking a few photos of me?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Not at all" Becker said as he took the camera. "Great backdrop here. Good a time as any to show off that nice jacket of yours anyways," Becker said with a nod. It had been a beautiful day, just slightly on the chilly side- normal for the Highlands really- and this as a perfect spot to get some photos to commemorate their adventure.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“So what pose do you think I go for then?” Cutter grinned as he moved into position, somewhere in the back of his mind a memory resurfaced of taking Helen’s picture before Claudia disappeared but he squashed it as quickly as it appeared, “serious or not?” he modelled a few mock poses of each, he was finding it very hard to keep a straight face as he did.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Why not both?" Becker asked as he snapped off a few photos catching some of those mock poses and thankfully one of that grin. In his mind, the entire trip was a success and he had proof that Nick Cutter did know how to smile! "Alright now for a normal one. Don't want Lester thinking we were goofing off the entire time right?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter laughed, “of course not, at least Lester will know that this jacket that he so generously paid for got some good use in this trip,” he said as he straightened his jacket and got ready to take a normal pose for the camera.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker stepped back a little and snapped a few pics and nodded as he handed the camera back. "Really is beautiful out there isn't it?" he said after a moment of taking in the scenery.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled as he took the camera and then before he started taking more photos, he took a moment to appreciate the view. “It really is,” he said softly, “I’m really glad we were able to do this trip,” he added.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"As am I" Becker said as he took a few more pics of his own. "I think this trip has been as good for me as it has for you. Been nice to just relax and forget everything else for a bit. Dr. Taylor always used to say that after any trial or big victory you should take a break and reward yourself in some way, even something small. So I think this camping trip has been perfect for that!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, “it’s been really nice, I think I needed to get away from everything, it’s helped with being able to think more clearly and I’ve enjoyed being able to talk to you as well, doing these activities together,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And you've turned out to be not too bad yourself" Becker said teasingly as he gave Cutter a gentle elbow-nudge. "And it's been nice hanging out with you too, Nick." Becker considered him for a moment. "Atfer we rest here a bit, what do you feel like doing? Want to head back to camp or press on and see if we find any animals farther up the trail?"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"As am I" Becker said as he took a few more pics of his own. "I think this trip has been as good for me as it has for you. Been nice to just relax and forget everything else for a bit. Dr. Taylor always used to say that after any trial or big victory you should take a break and reward yourself in some way, even something small. So I think this camping trip has been perfect for that!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned at that elbow nudge, giving Becker a playful one in return, he considered the options, “I think maybe we could walk a bit further, I’d like to see if we can find any animals to take photos of,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"There's plenty around, just a matter of spotting them and not scaring them away as we go." Becker pulled out his phone and pulled up the list he had copied over when making the initial plans for the trip. They were very much without good cell service out there. "We might be able to see the usual deer, moose, rabbits, foxes, and sheep out here. There's also a chance to see wildcats, stoats, otters, and of course plenty of birds like eagles, grouse, and falcons."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, “sounds like a good variety of animals to try and take photos of,” he paused, “if we can find them that is, I know that’s one of the things I still have to cross off my list,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well shall we move on to hunt our next photo target?" Becker said, holding up his camera. "Im sure we can find a bird or squirrel at least!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter felt a strange pang of homesickness for Fandom at the mention of squirrels, as much as he was enjoying his trip …he missed Fandom. “Sounds like a fun adventure,” he said with a smile, “I’m sure between the two of us we’ll find one of them right?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Aye, it shouldn't be too hard. Most of this area is a nature preserve, off limits to hunters and limited tourist access." Yes, yes get had pulled some strings to get them this getaway. "So the animals here shouldn't be as timid as they might be otherwise."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter smiled, he hadn’t realised just what strings had been pulled to get them this area, “well that will be good, maybe we can get a few different animal photos,” he considered, “and a few more different scenery shots as well, I’ve got some colours and patterns still to tick off my list,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well then, let's be on our way. We have photos to take and animals to find" Becker said as he held his hand out for Cutter to lead the way. "After you."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned as he began to start making his way further on the path, keeping an eye out for any animals or potential shots he could take for his scrapbook. “Do you see anything yet?” he asked as he tried to glance up in the trees for a sign of any animals.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I've heard a few scampering around in the brush, and I think that's an eagle I hear in the distance," Becker said with a nod. "we should see something soon...." Becker stopped and pointed ahead. "There, there's the eagle! On that log up ahead."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked where Becker was pointing and smiled, “oh wow, it’s beautiful,” he gushed as he started snapping away with his camera trying to get the best angle of the eagle.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Looks like a white-tailed hawk" Becker said as he took a few pics of his own then stood and marveled at it. "Look at those talons. Reminds me of the claws on those dang raptors!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“They do look a little like a raptors talons,” Cutter agreed as he got a few more shots, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of these in the wild before, they’re incredible,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"They are. Perfectly designed for what they are supposed to do" Becker said earnestly. "No wonder they are some of the best hunters in the skies eh?"
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter watched in awe as he got in a few more different angles, “they’re definitely majestic animals and so strong as well, I don’t think there’s any bird quite like it,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded and watched as the eagle took off. He lifted the camera and snapped off a few shots as it took the sky. "Absolutely brilliant," he said in awe, watching it fade into the clouds. "What did we humans ever deserve to see things like this huh?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I know,” Cutter breathed as he watched the eagle fly off and he managed to take one more shot, “the world is so beautiful and full of amazing creatures, but most humans don’t seem to appreciate them until they’re gone,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Not enough people take the time to enjoy these things. We spend so much time trying to save things we could have been protecting if we just noticed them more." Becker looked through the recent photos he had taken and smiled. "At least we aren't stuck with fossils for all of them right?
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled softly as he looked around at his surroundings , “that’s true and there’s still time to make sure these magnificent creatures don’t become fossils and a part of ancient history,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Shall we head down a little farther? The trail should take us towards the lake" Becker said softly. "We can stick to the upper trails that circle the ridge around the lake or take the trail down to the lake. Whichever you prefer."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter hesitated slightly, he was still uneasy about large bodies of water until Becker being there was helping, “I …I want to try taking the trail to the lake,” he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded, and gave Cutter a proud, encouraging smile. "To the lake then. And we can always take the other path if you need to Nick," he said softly.
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter returned the smile, he was still feeling nervous but he was determined to do this, “I want to try the lake first, see how I go,” he nodded, taking a deep breath as he began to mentally prepare.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Alright" Becker said gently. "We'll take our time and see how it goes.” Becker started leading them down the trail, taking it slow and watching Cutter closely as they got closer to the lake.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter took several deep breaths and he started to slowly follow Becker, he could do this …he could walk down to the lake … He tried to keep his focus on taking as many photos of the scenery as he could … After a little while, he had to stop, “do….can we stop for a moment?” he asked quietly, hating how weak he was feeling.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Of course, Nick" Becker said with a small smile as he nodded towards some rocks along the trail. They could sit and be within sight of the lake but Cutter could easily keep his gaze away if he wanted. "We can stop for as long as you want."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was grateful for the chance to stop, he sat down in the rocks, staring down at the ground as he tried to steady his breathing. “Sorry,” he said quietly after a few moments as he looked up at Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"No trouble at all" Becker said gently. He had made sure he was sitting beside Cutter in a way that he didn't have to look at the lake if he wanted to talk at all while they sat. "You've made amazing progress so far, just getting to this point" he said encouragingly.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter bit his lip and nodded, “I thought I’d be able to get a little bit further,” he admitted softly, “I …I know this takes time but I …” his voice trailed off , “I thought …” He wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to say and he went quiet.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You are doing really good Nick. I know it sometimes doesn't feel that way, but you are doing amazing considering," Becker said as he put a hand on Cutter's shoulder. "We can stay here as long as you want and we can go whenever you want. This is good progress. Dr. Taylor will be proud. I know I am."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter nodded as he gave a small smile at that, “thank you,” he said softly, “I …I think I want to stay a few more minutes before trying to get to the lake again,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded and sat quietly for a few minutes before pulling the camera out and scrolling through the photos a bit. "We've made good progress really," he said as he handed the camera over to Cutter so he could see the photo. It was one of the shots from the first day there from up at their campsite. "That lake way down there" Becker said with a soft smile as he pointed to the small patch of water in the photo. "That's where we are right now."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked at the photo in awe, “oh we are really close,” he was rather surprised and then he felt brave enough to look round Becker to look at the lake, “I didn’t realise we were that close,” he admitted.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Like I said, great progress Nick. You should be proud of yourself." Becker took a moment to look around as well as he watched Cutter closely, and also turned to look at the lake as well.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked at the lake for a few moments and then back at Becker, “I …I think I’m ready to try going down to the lake again,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded as he stood and once Cutter was on his feet started heading down towards the lake. Cutter went slow, knowing Cutter likely would have a harder time getting down there without him, but also he didn't want to push him too hard or too fast. "Once we are there" Becker offered, trying to give Cutter something positive to focus on, "we could look for some more fossils or see what else we could find."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was grateful for the slower pace as he tried to stay focused on reaching the lake, “I would like that,” he said with a small smile, “maybe we can find another trilobite?” he said hopefully.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"We might. I'm hoping to find even a small gemstone while we are here. There are supposed to be some good ruby, sapphire, and opal deposits around here. Most have probably been picked over but you never know what you are going to find, right?"
Cutter(thearcfamily)	“Oh that would be amazing if we could find something like that,” Cutter tilted his head as he considered that, “they would make some really great photos,” he considered.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And of course photo evidence too" Becker said with a grin as he turned back to look at the lake that was quite close now. "I'm going to go find a spot for us to set up and get started," he said as he turned back to look at Cutter. "Take your time Nick, and I'll be right here in sight the whole time" he said gently.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was a little nervous now that the lake was so close but he took a deep breath, “okay,” he said quietly as he got his camera ready so he could start to take photos, he carefully moved as close to the lake as he felt comfortable doing at that point and started taking as many photos as he could.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker made sure he kept an eye on Cutter, glancing over his shoulder several times as he got things set up. He didn't want to leave Cutter alone too much but he also knew he needed time and space to work through things for himself a bit too. "Got things just about set up" Becker said as he stood up. "I can bring the sieve over if you'd rather sift through things over there for a bit" he offered with a soft smile.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, “I …I think I might like to stay over here for a bit and try it here,“ he said softly, “and see how I go,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Not a problem, Nick" Becker said gently. "Find a spot where you want to sit and I'll bring it all over for ya and we can work over here for a bit." Becker gave Cutter a reassuring smile as he made his way to the water's edge and scooped up a good bit of the gravel and water and brought it over to Cutter so he could start sifting through it. "I'm gonna go grab mine, be right back" he said after he made sure Cutter was situated and ok.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Thank you,” Cutter said softly, trying to stay as focused as he could, every now and then looking out at the lake. He really couldn’t believe that he had actually made it down here and he soon found a spot that looked promising and sat down as he waited for Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	A minute later Becker was back with his own pan. "You doing alright Nick?" he asked and sat down across from Cutter and started picking through seeing what he could find.
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter gave a small smile as he began to fi the same with his own pan, “it’s still taking some getting used to,” he admitted, “being this close to the water but …I’m …I’m doing okay,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"We don't have to go any further" Becker reassured him. "I think we got a good set up here that will work nicely for us. And if we happen to get through all this I can grab us some more to sort through. Don't have to get any closer."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded at that, “it’s something I’m still trying to learn, learning how to not rush things,” he said quietly, “I’ve never been good at that,” he admitted. He looked at Becker and his pan, “found anything interesting yet?” he asked softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker smiled softly and then looked down at his pan thoughtfully. "Got some interesting looking polished stones but nothing more than that so far. You?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter glanced down at his pan, shifting it a bit and then shook his head, “nothing yet,” he remarked, “it seems to be just rocks do far,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Bummer" Becker said after giving his pan another look over and then dumped it out. "Want me to grab another for you? " he asked with a nod toward Cutter's pan.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, "yes please," he said, "maybe we'll get lucky in the next attempt?" he tried to sound hopeful that they would be able to find something.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded and went back to the lake, returning a little while later with another load. "I think we might be in luck" he said with a grin as he handed a pan to Cutter. "I think I saw something shinny in these this time!"
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter grinned as he eagerly looked into his pan, trying to shift through them to see if he could spot it, "Really?" he said as he shifted through it, at first he couldn't see it and then he spotted it at the bottom, "I think I can see it," he said excitedly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Think I got a piece of something in mine too. Let's see what we got in here" Becker said as he started picking through his own pan to find the shiny piece he had seen.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned as he began to be carefully sift through he pan and then he found a gemstone, “oh wow,” he picked it up and held it in his hand, “it looks like an opal?” he tilted his head curiously at it.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker leaned over and looked at it."It definitely looks like an opal... and a nice sized one too!" He looked at it and smiled over at Cutter. "Very nice find!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned as he looked down at the opal, “it’s beautiful,” he said in awe and then he looked over at Becker’s pan, “what did you find in yours?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker picked up the stone and examined it a bit, trying to wipe off some of the mud and grime to get a better look at it. "Think this might be some agate actually..." Becker held up the stone to show the crystal-like colors. "If we polish it up could look really cool" he added as he handed it over for Cutter to look at.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Oh it will definitely be amazing,” Cutter grinned, as he looked at the agate, “I’ve never seen one of these up close like this before, only gems I’ve ever seen are in the museums,” he admitted.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"One of the places I was stationed early on was known for being rich in gemstones. The entire area had been mined for years. We were able to pick up small pieces several times while we were there. It's always amazed me how different an uncut and unpolished gem can look."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	"The world really is full of hidden wonders and treasures," Cutter smiled as he looked at the gem in his hand and then at the opal, "and we get to see these all up close," he said, "well this will be something to tell Dr. Taylor at the next session," he added as he handed the agate back to Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And I think it's a successful way to close out, what, at least in my opinion, has been a great camping trip" Becker grinned. "Dr. Taylor will be thrilled with your progress, Nick. You should be proud of yourself. I know I am" he said with a gentle smile.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, "it's been really great," he agreed, "thank you again for coming with me, I ... I think I really needed this trip ... get away from everything for a while, it's helped a lot," he glanced down at his camera and all the photos he had taken throughout the trip, "now I guess it's a matter of getting all the photos together for a scrapbook for Dr. Taylor so he knows I did go on this trip," he considered.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I'm sure we can work a quick... scrapbook session... into the end of the trip" Becker said making a small face. There was a reason he had just handed in a stack of photos to Dr. Taylor when he had done this before. But he would make the effort to help Cutter.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned, "maybe once we're back in London, just before I head back to Fandom?" he suggested, "I'm sure if we can really work at it, I might have something ready to show Dr. Taylor at the next session," he considered.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I'm sure we can get something together to take for him" Becker said. And you better appreciate this Cutter, he was offering to do scrapbooking for your sake!
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned, "sounds like a plan then," he said as he settled back down to get comfortable with continuing shifting the rest of his pan. He definitely appreciated the help Becker, he would be completely lost without it.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And I think it's a successful way to close out, what, at least in my opinion, has been a great camping trip" Becker grinned. "Dr. Taylor will be thrilled with your progress, Nick. You should be proud of yourself. I know I am" he said with a gentle smile.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	It was now the last night of the trip before they were due to head back and Cutter couldn’t believe how quickly the trip had gone, he had been unsure of it at first but the camping trip had been exactly what he needed. Spending time away from work and being away with Becker,, it had given him the chance to think through some things and he felt prepared to head back to Fandom and take the next steps he. needed for his recovery. Since it was their last night Becker had suggested making s’mores and Cutter had never actually done that before so he got comfortable on the log as he watched Becker start to get the s’mores ready. “I can’t believe tonight’s the last night of our trip,” he couldn’t help but marvel.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"The time really has flown, hasn't it?" Becker agreed as he knelt by the firepit, arranging the wood for the promised last night's campfire. "It's been an amazing time though, and I'm glad you agreed to come along, Nick." Becker was very glad with what all Cutter had managed to do and the progress he had seen him make in just a week's time. He felt more confident now that Cutter was going to figure this out and that he would be ok.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, “I’m glad we were able to do this … I … I know I still have a lot of things to work through but I don’t feel as confused as I did at the start, but I really did enjoy this trip, spending the time out here with you. I … I think every now and then I need to take some time away, not get caught up in my work,” he admitted. “Now I guess after this, we’ll be sorting through all the photos that I took for the scrapbook,” there had been a lot of photos he had taken, it was going to take a while to sort through everything.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Aye, we can make a day of it sometime, and get started on the scrapbook at least. You'd have something to show Dr. Taylor and can update him on the progress as you work it." Becker finished getting the first pit set up, and a few minutes later the fire was starting as he stood up. He turned and looked over at Cutter with a fond smile. "I'm glad it's been good for you and you have enjoyed yourself, Nick. I can't deny that it's been a break I was in desperate need of as well. So thank you for giving me a reason to get away as well!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I would like that, it might be a nice way to spend an afternoon," Cutter smiled as he got comfortable, "we should do this more often then," he suggested, "maybe next summer we could come out here again for a week again?" he considered. Well they would be going on a trip next summer, just not the traditional camping trip Cutter was expecting.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Definitely have to do this again" Becker agreed with a nod. "We could easily set something up next Summer, either just us again or with the team" Becker suggested. "We definitely have plenty to still see and do, so I think that is a wonderful idea. As is ending this little adventure with the perfect tradition of s'mores!"
Cutter(thearcfamily)	"I would like that, we definitely have more to see of the Scottish highlands, this place is massive," Cutter grinned, "and I'd like that, both options ..." maybe by then he and Connor would even be friends again by then and they could handle a camping trip together? He hoped so ... "I'm definitely looking forward to these s'mores," he grinned, "they sound fantastic,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"S'mores are amazing," Becker said, holding up the goody bag of what they needed. "Sugar... sugar...sugar... all the important food groups!" Becker couldn't help but chuckle as he pulled out the graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter started laughing at that, "aye ... all that sugar does sound amazing," he grinned, "it's been quite a while since I've had something that sugary," he realised.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Same to be honest, which is why we are also cooking up the last of the hotdogs!" That was better right?
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Oh that does sound brilliant,” Cutter grinned, “especially if we can have them be slightly burnt like we did the first night, I really did enjoy those,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Pretty sure that can be arranged," Becker said with a quick wink. "Bit first things first. Am I remembering correctly that you have never made s'mores before?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter grinned at that, "that's right, I never got to experience s'mores when I was camping as part of my dig, I was always working so I missed out on getting to make s'mores,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well, then it is time to remedy that!" Becker handed Cutter one of the roasting sticks and bag of his own. "So, the first thing we have to do is get everything ready. S'mores are easy but can be messy, especially once you start putting them together." Becker took out the graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows from his bag and showed Cutter how he liked to set up for easy s'mores making. "Basically we need the graham cracker broken in half and a few pieces of the chocolate bar, and one big marshmallow."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter took the offered roasting stick and looked at how Becker was making his, it seemed simple enough, “so like this?” he followed the steps that Becker had made with his s’mores, He liked to think that there wasn’t many ways he could screw up making a s’more but then this was Cutter and food.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"That's right. The crackers are like the bread and the chocolate goes on one side and the marshmallow on the other" he explained. "But the secret to a great s'more is a nice hot and tasty marshmallow!" And with that, Becker put one on the end of his roasting stick and held it out over the fire. "You want it hot and melty all the way through and some people like their marshmallows a little burnt too" he added with a grin.
Cutter(thearcfamily)	"Well I do like my food a little burnt," Cutter returned the grin and then he followed Becker's lead and put his s'more over the fire, "I can't believe I've never actually tried my own s'mores before," he couldn't help but marvel.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Well unless you have an aversion to chocolate or something, I bet you are going to love them." Becker kept an eye on his marshmallow, waiting till it started getting just a little bit burnt. He then got it off the stick and onto the graham cracker and chocolate. "And this" he said holding up the already dripping sugary flight "is a real, authentic, campsite s'more!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter laughed as he held out his marshmallow a bit longer in the fire, “well I definitely don’t have an aversion to chocolate,” he grinned. He looked at Becker’s gooey s’more and his smile widened, “I’m definitely going to love this.” he declared.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"No better way to spend the last night out here. Campfire. A good friend. S'mores. Beautiful night. Good memories. I'd say that is just about perfect."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that as he decided his marshmallow was cooked to his satisfaction and got it out and placed in the crackers like Becker had done. He raised his s’more in a cheer, “aye, couldn’t have asked for a better ending to a trip, it’s been an amazing experience, I’m glad I got to experience this with you,” he smiled at Becker and then took a bite of his s’more, “oh wow this is amazing,” his eyes widened as he finished his bite.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I've spent many nights camping out when I was younger. Been far too long since a campout has been about something other than training or a mission in some way." Becker paused as he finished up his s'more and then continued. "This has been as good a thing for me as I think it's been for you. So, thank you Nick for giving me this as well" Becker said with a smile.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled at that, "you're welcome, I'm glad we were both able to do this, I know it's one of the things I need to work on ... not getting caught up my work all the time, I'm glad Dr. Taylor suggested the camping trip ... I knew I wanted to try going on a vacation but I really had no idea where to even begin with that," he admitted.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Us workaholics need to be reigned in now and then don't we?" Becker asked with a knowing smirk. "I remember early on Dr. Taylor had to do something he later told me he has never had to do before- tell me to not push myself so hard with the therapy and recovery. So yeah... I know what it's like to get hung up on whatever you have taken on as your mission."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter nodded thoughtfully, "I've always been that way, when I was a kid with my music, at university ... whatever I'd decided to pursue, I always focused on it ... at the expense of everything around me," he went quiet for a moment, "I really can't blame Helen for deciding that living in the anomalies was more preferable to being married to me," he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Helen was a delusional, narcissistic, psychopath" Becker said firmly but gently. "Your commitment to work might have been an issue but her actions and decisions are on her. Remember that Nick" Becker said softly. "But I understand how that can be... I never had time for a family of any sort. I was always too busy and too focused on training and what my next mission would be. No woman would have ever wanted to put up with that for the rest of her life."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter nodded as he stared down at his s'more, "it's hard sometimes to remember that, after everything ...especially at the beginning, we were happy, I know we had problems but sometimes I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if Helen ... if she hadn't left," He knew it was a dangerous path to go down with all the what ifs but sometimes he couldn't help it. "I never thought I wanted a family but after that weekend ... with Connor and the kids, I realised just how much I wanted that life and ... it may be too late now to have it," he said softly, "I guess ... I can't see myself ever meeting someone, I had a second chance at a relationship and I blew it,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You made a mistake, made some bad choices and decisions. That can't be argued" Becker said softly. "But you cant say yet if you blew it with Connor." "Things could still work out. They may or may not go back to how things were. That all is still to be seen, so you can't be too hard on yourself about what happened. You both are working on things, getting to a better place, and things may still end up different than you think they might." He gave Cutter a small smile. "It's normal to think about the what ifs and how things might have gone. But you can't let it distract you from what is right in front of you, here and now.... Lord knows I wasted enough time and energy imagining how things might have been different if I hadn't gotten injured and all. It will drive you mad if you let it."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, returning the small smile, "I suppose I spent a lot of time at the hospital thinking about how different things could have been, didn't help either," he stared down at his s'more before carefully taking another bite, "I guess that's what eventually led ... I mean there were other things but that was a big part of it ... why I pushed Connor away to begin with, I ... I spent all that time thinking that he would be better off without me and now ... I know how much better he made me and now ..." he sighed, "I guess it's true when they say that you're your own worst enemy isn't it?" he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Often times that is very true" Becker said softly. "It's an easy thing to slip into and hard to stop once you get going. You can talk yourself into or out of so many things if you go hard enough and long enough with it."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded softly, "It's something that I'm trying to work on, this trip ... talking to you, it's really helped me start to get some of that focus back ... help me see things more clearly," he said.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And I’m glad for that" Becker said with a small smile. "It has been a successful trip then, and we will definitely have to make plans to do this again. Think it will be good, for both of us."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter returned that small smile, "aye, it's been a very successful trip and I would love to do this again," his smile widened at that, "I've really enjoyed being out here in the highlands with you,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"As have I and it's been good seeing you smile and get to a better place Nick. We've all been worried about you, so.... so it's nice to see you like this."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter gave a small smile, "it's ... it's been hard," he admitted, "I'm just ... I've just been so used to doing things on my own, it was just ... easy to shut down and not deal with anything, than Connor getting sick and not being there for him ... it made me realise just how selfish I'd been, how much I was hurting people who cared about me and I ... I don't want to be alone anymore,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And realizing that, admitting your mistake and bad choices, and working to try and fix them and avoid making them again, that is a sign of progress and honest change," Becker said softly. "It's the first step to making progress and getting back on track, whether that is on your own or with Connor or something else. But you are now getting to the point where you can start dealing with things ad processing everything in a healthier way. And that will make it easier to move forward."
Cutter(thearcfamily)	Cutter nodded as he stared down at his s'more, "it's hard sometimes to remember that, after everything ...especially at the beginning, we were happy, I know we had problems but sometimes I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if Helen ... if she hadn't left," He knew it was a dangerous path to go down with all the what ifs but sometimes he couldn't help it. "I never thought I wanted a family but after that weekend ... with Connor and the kids, I realised just how much I wanted that life and ... it may be too late now to have it," he said softly, "I guess ... I can't see myself ever meeting someone, I had a second chance at a relationship and I blew it,"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, "I ... I'm beginning to see that now, that I haven't been fair to anyone, I've been too caught up in the past ... in my own memories ... I wasn't being fair to Connor, expecting him to understand how I felt about ...about Helen and Stephen, I mean ... I still don't even know how to process all of that ... but talking things out ... talking to you and Dr. Taylor, it's been helping,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And progress is progress. I'm proud of you Nick. And I know Connor would be too if he could see the progress you have made already." Becker smiled softly. "There's still a lot to work through I know, but you are on your way to getting there, I have no doubt about that." And with that Becker pulled out the last pack of hotdogs from the cooler and held them up with a grin. "Up for some slightly burnt hotdogs?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Thank you," Cutter smiled at that, "that sounds amazing," he admitted, "I could really go for slightly burnt hotdogs right now, I think they'll go really well with these s'mores," he said as he finished the last of the one he was eating,
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Best camp food there is!" Becker said as he grabbed two hotdogs out of the pack and handed it over to Cutter. With all the sugar from the s'mores thy were bound to eat that evening, Becker had a feeling there wouldn't be much in the way of sleeping. But it was good. The beauty of traveling by portal was you didn't have to do much.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I’m definitely understanding the appeal now,” Cutter grinned as he took the hotdogs, “I can’t believe I ever went so long without trying these,” And once they got the hotdogs going, Cutter settled in to enjoy the final night of their trip, he knew that he had a long way to go with his physical and emotional recovery but he was starting to feel some of the weight being lifted off his shoulders. He was glad that he’d come on this trip and it was something that he was looking forward to being able to do again in the future.