A Private Hospital - London

[itsananomaly]

Cutter knew that he and Connor would have to start seeing a counsellor before they could be discharged but he was nervous about this, he didn’t like talking about his feelings in general. At least Lester had arranged it so that he and Connor could do their therapy sessions together before they left and Lester and Becker were in the room as well because they weren’t having a repeat of what happened when they tried to start eating solids. He sat there nervously in his wheelchair as he waited, fidgeting slightly as he waited for the session to start. [part sixteen. CW for medical trauma, injuries and emotional recovery. Also includes CW for discussion about sexual assault. Preplayed with the amazing anomaly_research_nerd. NFB but OOC welcome!]

Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor was nervous as well, though he was trying not to show it. Cutter was already on edge and he knew they had to do this before they could be released from the hospital, and he didn't want to delay that any by making a scene or anything. He sat there beside Cutter in his wheelchair and as he looked over at Cutter he reached a hand out, and placed it over his with a small smile. "I'm right here, Nick... I'm not going anywhere. I know we can do this."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled softly at the encouragement, at the feel of Connor’s hands resting on his own, “what if I say the wrong thing though?” that thought had definitely been plaguing him, that he would say something wrong and that he would be the reason he and Connor would have to stay in hospital longer.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"There's no right or wrong answer, Nick" Becker said gently from where he was sitting off to the side of the room. "This is to help you and Connor heal, to get better. It's not a punishment, remember that ok? We need to make sure we are doing everything we can to help you, in every single way possible" Becker said with a warm, encouraging smile.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Somewhere, a memory stirred in Cutter’s brain, ‘Nick Cutter, talking about his feelings,’ …Claudia had said that, what now felt like a lifetime ago. He shifted a bit, “I’m not, um …very good at this …talking about feelings and stuff,” In perhaps what was a sign to their changing relationship, Lester didn’t offer a sarcastic quip, instead he said very gently, “your mental health recovery is just as important as your physical health recovery, this will take time for both you and Connor …this first session is just to see what we’re working with and as Captain Becker said, this isn’t a punishment Nick,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"We got this Nick, we'll be fine" Connor said encouragingly and then a moment later the door opened. The counsellor who walked in seemed nice enough, somewhere between Cutter and Lester's age probably, and she wore a simple business suit. And most importantly, at least to Connor and his nerves just then, she gave them a small smile as she walked in. "Hello, you must be Nick and Connor" she said taking a seat. "I'm Doctor Jones."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter shifted again as he tried to not feel so nervous about this, he nodded and bit his lip, staring down at his bandaged hands. “Um…how - how does this work?” he asked softly. “I’m going to ask each of you some questions, simple ones to begin with - I know how overwhelming this can be and I don’t want this to be difficult for either of you - you’ve both been through an ordeal …there is no right or wrong answers and we’re not in any hurry here, we can take as long as we need,” she said gently, “does this sound okay to both of you?”she looked between Cutter and Connor. Cutter shifted again, “it sounds okay I guess,” he said awkwardly, whether that meant he would be forthcoming with any responses remained to be seen.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded slowly, bitting his lip slightly as well. "So, let's start with the basics. Can you tell me your names?" Connor nodded as he spoke up. "I'm Connor.... Temple," he said. Sorry doc, one person more than he wanted to know already knew his middle name, and that was something he wasn't willing to share just then.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter tensed, even though it was a simple question it reminded him of the truth serum …of Helen’s questioning… He took several deep breaths, at first he didn’t think he’d be able to answer …”I’m, I’m Professor Nick Cutter,” he managed to stammer, flinching slightly. Doctor Jones noticed that flinch, the uncertainty as she began to start making notes, “and what do you both do for an occupation?”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Two questions. Two questions in and Connor was already feeling uneasy. What DID he do anymore? He wasn't a student, since he had technically dropped out of classes and hadn't enrolled yet. He wasn't even an official member of the ARC team. So what did that make him? Extra baggage? A freeloader? Nothing but a fake? Connor just stared at his hands for a moment and gave a small shrug. He really had no answer for that just then.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter just stared blankly at the Doctor, he could feel his mind going blank even when it came to such a basic question and then Connor didn’t respond was he still there? “Connor …” he whispered, starting to feel the panic creep in, “Connor …” Maybe he was just imaging that he and Connor had been rescued … that this was more of Helen’s tricks. Maybe she had injected him with more truth serum ... He hadn’t realised he hadn’t answered the question the Doctor had asked, he had started to forget that she was there.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor gave a slight startle as he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Becker had come over and had a hand on both of their shoulders, a concerned look on his face. "Connor? Nick?" he asked softly, giving a gentle, reassuring squeeze as he did. "It's alright. You can trust Doctor Jones. She's here to help you, remember?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter blinked a bit and he realised that he was not in the cell that he was in a room and Connor was with him and he relaxed at Becker’s hand squeeze. “Um … what was the question again?” he asked softly, fidgeting slightly. “What do you both do for an occupation?” Doctor Jones asked gently. “I … I teach,” Cutter said quietly, “I taught at a university in London but I’m on sabbatical, I teach palaeontology and zoology to high school students in America,” there was a pause, "and Connor teaches a dinosaur class with me,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded slightly, then realized he probably should answer himself and not just let Cutter answer for him. "I... I co-teach the one class and.... I... I was trying to enroll at.... at Uni before..." his voice trailed off, his chest suddenly feeling tight at the realization that now that might be just one more thing he had ultimately failed at.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Doctor Jones paused at that, "what did you want to study?" she asked gently, seeing if she could get Connor to open up some more, she was noting his reluctance to share . Cutter flinched slightly at that, he had been working on getting Connor to try and get him enrolled and he had nearly completed that before everything happened ... would he even still be able to do that for Connor? He stared down at his hands, feeling guilty that he couldn't even promise to get Connor reenrolled in university.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"I... I was looking at something... with evolutionary science. Where... I could maybe... work my tech into things..." he gave a small shrug. It kinda sounded silly to him now.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Like what Nick does?" Doctor Jones asked gently, "did you want to study evolutionary sciences because that's what Nick teaches?" Cutter stared down at his hands, it seemed so long ago when they were talking about their future and Connor becoming his teaching assistant and now ... would he even be able to get back to teaching now?
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor closed his eyes and nodded. There was more to it. But he couldn't vocalize that just then. He didn't want to think about how much of a failure he was that he wouldn't even be able to get that degree finished... even after everything Cutter had done to get him that opportunity.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Doctor Jones wrote down some more notes on her pad, “okay, okay Connor we can leave it there for now …that was very good,” she said gently, turning her attention to Cutter then, “why did you decide to move to the States to teach, that was quite a move going from teaching university students to high school students?” Cutter wanted to stop staring down at his hands, he couldn’t take looking at them anymore but he didn’t want to look at the doctor right then either, he stared at her desk instead, “Um … it’s … it’s complicated,” he finally said and looked over at Lester, “I’m … if I told you the truth, you’d think I was crazy,” “Doctor Jones is fully equipped to handle this Nick,” Lester said softly, trying to be as gentle as he could. “Well there was a woman I liked very much, she … she disappeared and no one remembers her but me and my ex wife Helen … “ he flinched at the mention of her name, “and then Helen decided to reveal to the whole team that she’d had an affair with my best friend Stephen … only Stephen and I had gotten together several times as well after she disappeared … so I think considering the circumstances moving to America to teach palaeontology to high school students wasn’t that much of a stretch all things considered,” he snapped, his accent becoming more pronounced with the angrier that he got, he tensed, realising he hadn’t meant to reveal that much to the therapist and then looked apologetically at Connor because he was sure hearing about his love life was the last thing he wanted since this was what had gotten them in this mess to begin with.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor stiffened a bit as he listened. He knew this all, for the most part. But hearing it all, coming out like that, it hurt. He also heard that change in Cutter's voice, He knew what it meant when the accent came out and he started feeling annoyed that the therapist was wasting their time with stupid questions like this. "We have our reasons for doing what we did" he muttered, half to himself, half out loud.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled, taking a deep breath, trying to control his temper … he knew that this was supposed to help but all it was doing was just making him feel angry and frustrated and he wanted to go back to their room, away from this session. Doctor Jones took note of his anger, looked between him and Connor and made a note of Connor’s remark and then looked back at Cutter. “And do you still have feelings for Helen? For Stephen? This woman who disappeared?” “I am not answering that,” Cutter growled and wished he could just get up out of his wheelchair and walk out but knew that would be a very bad idea and that Becker would stop him before he had even had a chance to stand up. "Do we have to answer any more questions? This is a waste of time,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor sat staring at the floor. He couldn't look at the Doctor Jones. He couldn't look at Cutter either. He knew Cutter still had something, some kind of feelings for Stephen... And likely Helen. He didn't necessarily like it or understand. But he was trying to. And this was between him and Cutter. It wasn't any stranger's business how they were trying to cope with this.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Lester saw how quickly this was escalating, “Doctor Jones, can Captain Becker and I talk to you for a few moments, perhaps a few minutes break will help,” “Very well,”Doctor Jones stood up to follow Lester and Becker out of the room, “five minutes and then we’ll start up again okay?” Cutter couldn’t answer, he sat in his chair, tears falling down his cheeks …he had screwed this up, there was no way they were going to let him go home after this …he just hoped it wouldn’t mess up Connor’s chances of going home, he had already caused enough damage to him, “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed, staring at a spot on the wall.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Not your fault Nick... Damn nosey shrink... Why does she think she has any idea how to help us? She doesn't even know us...". Connor reached out a hand for Cutter, hoping he would take it. "It's... Its ok... Nick." What he specifically was referring to he didn't specify, mostly because he didn't even know himself.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter bit his lip and dared a look over at Connor and tentatively reached over for his hand, “I didn’t mean for all that to come out,” he sobbed, “she made me so angry, I think I screwed up my chance of being able to go home,” he said softly.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"You... didn't screw anything up," Connor said, hoping he sounded more convincing than he felt. He wasn't too thrilled with his own response so far and was definitely less than thrilled with this whole 'talking it out' thing. He and Cutter could do that. They didn't need someone else poking at them. Slowly he reached out and took Cutter's hand and gave it a small squeeze. "At least we're going to be here together regardless. I... I'm not going anywhere."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled as he clung as best he could to Connor’s hand , “she’s probably going to sanction me after this,” he sobbed. He managed to nod at Connor’s last part, “at least they arranged for us to do this together, I wouldn’t want to do therapy on my own,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor just ran his hand along Cutter's arm for a moment, not knowing what to say, because honestly, that was a concern of his as well, for both of them. This was their first session, and neither one of them had done very well or responded very well to it. "We'll.... we'll get through it"he finally said with as encouraging of a smile as he could muster against the angry and fearful tears that were brimming in his eyes just then.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Outside the room Becker was leaning against the wall, hand to his face as he rubbed he bridge of his nose. He knew this was going to be hard for Connor and Nick... but he hadn't been expecting to hit this much of a roadblock right out of the gate. "So now what do we do?" he asked looking from Doctor Jones then to Lester. "Want me to go in and try and talk to them? Just me, no one else" he offered. "It might help them open up a bit more? If I can get them to talk to me, I can pass things along as needed, until we get to a place where they are able to talk themselves?"
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester looked at Doctor Jones, “I think that might not be a bad idea, until we know what actually happened to them, I don’t want a repeat of their first time eating solids, they’re both highly stressed and agitated and Nick is more likely to lash out.” “I’m concerned about both of them,” Doctor Jones said softly, “they really need to talk to someone,” she looked at Becker, “do you think you could get them to open up to you Captain?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded. "Will certainly give it my best. I want them on the road to recovery as much as everyone else." Lester and Doctor Jones nodded and Becker pushed up from the wall and gave them both a nod. "Wish me luck" he said taking a deep breath before opening the door and walking in alone. Connor looked up with a startled expression when the door opened, but visibly relaxed when he was it was Becker who walked in and grabbed the chair he had been sitting in before and moved it over in front of Connor and Cutter and sat down. For a moment he didn't speak, he just sat there with them, waiting to see if either of them would start talking on their own.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter shifted a bit, he had calmed down a bit but he was still uneasy about this whole therapy thing, even though he had also relaxed when Becker came into the room and it wasn't Doctor Jones. He was quiet for a few moments, "how much trouble are we in?" he asked quietly.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"We really blew it this time haven't ?" Connor asked softly, glancing up at Becker before looking down at his hand that was still gently holding Cutter's. "Neither of you are in trouble at all" Becker said with a smile. "This us a very hard thing, talking to a stranger like this. Having them ask personal questions. The fact you two came today, that you are still sitting here, it's a big sign of how much you are willing to try and work on this, to get yourself better" Becker said softly. "I've sat where you are before, it's a hard place to be. I just want you both to know you can say as much or as little as you want, but I am here anytime you want or need to talk- about anything."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter stared down at the hand that Connor was holding, "what if they want to keep us in hospital longer?" he asked quietly, not able to meet Becker's gaze then, "I don't ... I want to leave," he finally admitted, "I want to go back to Fandom," He knew they wouldn't be able to head back to Fandom just yet, there were still additional appointments and follow ups visits and it would be at least another two weeks before they could even entertain going back to Fandom but he just wanted to go home with Connor.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Of course you do, anyone would" Becker said softly as he reached out and put a hand on Cutter's knee, making sure it wasn't the bandaged one. "I don't think we have to worry about that, yet. Doctor Jones just wants to make sure you both are getting the help you need so you can get better and so you can get back home." Becker was silent for a moment as he studied the two men for a moment before he spoke again. "It's hard isn't it, having a strange show up and start acting like they understand you and what you have been through and what you are feeling. That was the hardest part for me," he revealed and he leaned over closer lowering his voice slightly. "You should have seen the fit I threw when my commanding offers made me tell my therapist my full name."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter blinked at that, "your full name?" somehow it had never crossed his mind that Becker had an actual name other than Becker, "you mean it's not Captain Becker?" he said, allowing a small smile at that as he finally looked up at Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Ha-ha, very funny" Becker said with a grin. "But despite the militaristic persona, my name actually is not Captain Becker. Most people outside work know me as James Becker. But.... James is actually my middle name." He looked at Cutter and Connor, seeing he very much had their attention at that point. "My full name.... is Hilary James Becker."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Whatever Cutter had been expecting, it wasn't that, "Hilary?" he repeated, blinking a bit as he tilted his head at Becker, "your name is actually Hilary?" he thought that maybe that this was a joke, that Becker was trying to get to them to lighten up first before they started the therapy sessions again but his name being Hilary seemed so far fetched. "You don't seem like a Hilary," he said as he smiled, despite his best effort to not because he really didn't have room to talk when it came to unusual names.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	It was Connor's turn to stare at the one for a moment. "You're parents actually named you Hilary? No way!" "I'm serious," Becker said with a laugh. He was used to this reaction and it was part of why he usually kept this little secret to himself. "See, look... its even on my license.... unfortunately. Do you know what it is like having a cop pull you over and spend five minutes laughing and showing your license to his buddies?" Becker pulled out his wallet and took out the license and handed it to Connor. "Well damn, it says Hilary..." Connor said with a surprised look as he handed it over to Cutter so he could see.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter couldn't help it he started laughing, "I'm sorry, I didn't ..." he tried to stop the laughter that kept escaping, "I mean .. I imagine this is a real license, I can't think why you would ever want to have a fake license with the name Hilary," he sniggered a little bit more. When he had finally calmed down enough, he did look a little sheepish, "I mean, I'm not exactly one to talk my parents gave me the middle name Aeneas, they were really big into Greek and Roman mythology and there was an Aeneas in the bible so ..." he shrugged a big, "I don't exactly go around advertising my full name either," That had been Helen's mistake when she had asked Nick what his name was, she hadn't specified the full name so he had been able to keep that from her.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Dang it's like an odd name convention in here" Connor said with a small laugh of his own. Thankfully most people don't poke around enough to find out but yeah.... my parents decided they were going to give their son the middle name Thaddeus" Connor shook his head. "School was brutal until I got to a high enough grade where I had some say in what name the teachers used in class and all. though I am pretty sure the teasing paled in comparison to what you had... Hilary" he said with an apologetic smirk to Becker as he laughed again. Becker just smiled, gladly taking the ego hit for the sake of getting the two of them into a better mental space and possibly able to talk a little bit.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled softly at that, as he remembered his own experiences at school whenever they discussed middle names and his had stood out like a sore thumb when everyone else's middle names had been John, Peter or David. "That's why I started to get into music," he admitted softly, staring down at his bandaged hands for a moment but forced himself to look back up, "it was a way to avoid the playground at lunchtime, I could just hide out in the music room at school and practice my scales and just forget about everything for a while," Bringing up music was hard and he knew he was setting himself up for talking about what Helen did to him, his hands were his connection to music and Helen had broken that. Would he even be able to play the piano again now?
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Was kinda the same for me. It was really bad when I hit the early teens, classmates were brutal" Connor said thinking back. "I joined the school's all boy choir, we were all geeks, nerds, and socially awkward to one extent or another. And singing was what... what got me through that time... and others since" Connor said softly as he reached over and put a hand on Cutter's his mind going back to that first day in the cell.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled softly at Connor’s hand on his, as he remembered hearing Connor’s singing voice for the first time on that first day in the cell and knew what his singing meant to him. “My parents brought my piano for me when I was 10, they could see how I was really getting into music and they knew that school wasn’t always a happy experience for me, and they wanted me to have the grand piano to practice on … I mean it wasn’t just the middle name thing, I was always interested in palaeontology and the evolutionary sciences …even though originally I wanted to be an archaeologist, I saw the first meta for Indiana Jones movie when I was 8 … it inspired me to want to be a Professor myself when I was a kid, I loved learning and well as Connor said, classmates were brutal …” Cutter was pretty sure that was the most he’d ever talked about his actual childhood and past with anyone.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor listened with a soft smile as Cutter talked about his childhood and growing up. But he had gone quiet a bit there,his thoughts stuck on that first day on the cell, the singing... and then from there it was just snippets of the days in that place... a flash here, a broken bit of conversation there, and he blinked hard trying to stop them. "Never... never thought the singing... would ever mean anything..." he said simply looking down at his hands then over at Cutter. "Never thought it would matter, ya know?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter gave a soft smile to Connor and reached a hand out to him,, "it did matter," he said quietly, "that first day ... when you sang to me, it helped me, it ... it helped me forget where we were, that that as long as I was with you ... we could get through anything ..." he closed his eyes as he thought back to that day, those few hours when it had been him and Connor in the cell, before Helen and Stephen had separate them.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"I... I'm glad it helped. I just wish, that I had been able to stop Helen... to keep you safe." Connor said, dropping his gaze to his hands. "Against Helen... all her tech... her tools... I..." Connor closed his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Nick" he said softly, fighting back the guilt and helplessness he had felt about how powerless he had been, right from the start, when it came to standing up to Helen... and Stephen.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“None of us would have been able to stop Helen and she had Stephen as back up, against the two of them we didn’t stand a chance,” Cutter said softly as he looked at Connor, “I’m … I’m sorry I put you in that position, that I took you to the warehouse without back up … it …” all that guilt from that day bubbling at the surface, “they hurt you to get to me,” he trembled, tears slowly falling down his cheeks, “I’m so sorry,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Hey...hey, it's not your fault, Nick. I decided to go, I wanted to get Rex back, and I was just as tired of sitting around doing nothing. It was my choice to go." Connor sighed softly against the tears he felt in his own eyes. "Helen was going to do whatever she wanted. She was going to stoop to whatever level she had to. She was... Willing to use truth serum... I think... Anyone would have a hard time with that."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter closed his eyes hearing Connor mention the truth serum, “she used it on you as well?” he said softly, the crushing guilt came back as he thought back to that, what he had told both Helen and Stephen …all that pain that the serum had caused. He let out a soft sob at the memory.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"She did," Connor said simply, his voice low and weak as he got lost in the memories. "The... the first thing she asked.... was my name. I-I tried to fight it... but I couldn't. I told her. I told her everything she asked... it.. it was like I couldn't stop myself." Becker sat and listened, watching both Connor and Cutter as they spoke. The realization of just how much they had endured, how much they had been through, started to hit home. And it made him feel that nauseating mix of anger and sadness that he was all too familiar with.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“That …That was the first thing she asked me as well,” Cutter felt sick, it had been bad enough that she had used it on him but to use it on Connor as well? “I …I never told her my middle name, I think I got around it because she didn’t ask for my full name …” it was the only small victory that he’d had against her in the end. He closed his eyes, “I’m so so sorry,” he said again, unable to stop the tears that kept falling.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor shifted in the wheelchair so he could lean closer to Cutter and pulled him close into a somewhat awkward hug and held him as tightly as he could. There were no words to say, nothing to undo all that hurt, all that damage. All Connor could to was hold the man he loved as tightly as he could, to be there for him and to feel him there in his arms as his own tears began to fall silently.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	And once Connor had him in that embrace he couldn’t stop those tears as he just sat there and cried. It was like once he started he couldn’t stop, the tears overflowing as all that hurt and anguish at what Helen had done to them bubbled to the surface. He just sat there crying, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to stop.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	After a couple of minutes, Connor shifted again, pulling away from the embrace just long enough to stand up from the wheelchair and move in front of Cutter. Connor wrapped his arms around his neck as he slowly, with a slight twinge of pain he ignored, knelt down so he could pull him close. Becker had started to stand to stop Connor but the look he got told him there was no stopping him, so Becker stood and watched. He watched as the two clung to each other and cried. And he felt the tears in his own eyes start to fall as he watched. At some point he walked over and put a hand on each of their shoulders as he looked down at them, having tried and failed to wipe away all of his own tears. "Let's get you back to your room," he said simply.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was reluctant to let go of Connor but he didn’t want to stay in that room any longer, he didn’t want to have Doctor Jones come back and ask more questions, “what …what happens now?” he managed to choke out.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"We get you back to your room where you can be more comfortable" Becker said softly. "Then we make the plan for tomorrow, and we take all of this one day at a time, all of us... as a team." He looked at Cutter, then at Connor, and gave them a small nod before he helped Connor back into his wheelchair. "You two sit tight. I'll be back in just a few minutes, ok?" he checked before he opened the door and walked out to where Doctor Jones and Lester were still waiting.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter could only nod, wiping away his tears as he took a deep breath, he sniffed and hiccuped and stared down at his bandaged hands. “Okay,” he said quietly, it was the only thing he could think of to say right then and then waited for Becker to come back. Lester looked over at Becker when he came back outside, noting his expression, “what happened?” he asked softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker slumped back against the wall, hand to his face, obviously trying to tap down the emotions of his own that threatened to spill out now that he wasn't in front of Cutter and Connor. "We should have started this as soon as the were awake," he muttered from behind the hand that slowly fell from his face as he looked over at Lester. "It was worse than we thought, if that is even possible." The muttered curses from Lester made Becker sigh. "Helen used truth serum on them, Lester. Evidently, one of her toys from the future." Becker here turned his attention to Doctor Jones as he continued. "Helen started the interrogations by asking their names. Who they were. What they did." Becker sighed as he rubbed his head, visibly bothered by what he had learned. "I can only imagine the terrible and cruel things she made them confess to and reveal by the time she was done. So.. it's no wonder they are resisting the sessions. Any sort of formal back and froth question and answer is going to feel like an interrogation to them."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester closed his eyes, as he let that information sink in …he knew all too well what kind of mind games that Helen would have subjected Nick and Connor. “Then I think we need to do this differently,” Doctor Jones said softly, “until we know the full extent of what Helen made them tell her, anything I may ask in a session could trigger a PTSD episode, I will need to do a formal diagnosis but I’m fairly confident they’re both suffering from PTSD and they need to talk to someone,” She looked at Becker, “do you think you can spend more time with Captain? See if you can get them to open up and tell you what they told Helen? Don’t push them too hard and I would recommend asking them individually, based on what you’ve told me about Helen, she would have used the love that Nick and Connor have for each other and twisted it, and forgive me if I’m out of line here but based on his answers today I think Nick still loves his wife , I don’t know if it’s Stockholm syndrome or not but at the least he needs to talk to someone he can trust and I don’t know if talking to Connor is the best move for both of them just yet,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker looked from Doctor Jones to Lester and nodded. "Of course, I'll do whatever I can. They were actually talking to me a little about their pasts in there, like back to their school days. So... for whatever reason they seem to be comfortable talking to me. I'll... I'll do what I can." Becker looked over his shoulder back to the door he had just come through. "Those two fought for their lives to even be here... we can't fail them now." Becker closed his eyes and said softly to himself, "I cant fail them now..."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, “then we’ll do that, if you can keep me updated as you talk to them and then I can let Doctor Jones just exactly what we’re going to be dealing with as we help Nick and Connor recover, I knew it was going to be a long journey for them but I didn’t think she would have stooped so low as to use truth serum,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “that woman has caused us nothing but problems since I brought her back from the anomaly, I should have left her there,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Seems like there's plenty of blame making the rounds" Becker said with a sigh. "I think we have to just focus on the fact that none of us could have anticipated any of this. And passing the blame or holding the blame on ourselves doesn't solve anything... Helen... and Stephen for whatever role he did play... are the only ones who deserve the blame. We have to keep our focus on Cutter and Connor, not on our own guilt and self-blame." Easier said than done and were you planning to actually follow that advice yourself there Becker? "Lester and I will get them back to their room. And I.... I'll be in touch soon, Doctor Jones," Becker said with a nod as he turned to head back into the room, not wanting to leave Cutter and Connor alone for too long.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	It had been a long, tired and emotional morning and Cutter just wanted to go back to bed and sleep but he found that once he got back to the room and Becker had helped him back to bed, he found that he couldn’t sleep. His mind was racing and all he could keep thinking about was everything that he and Connor had talked about at the sessions, what Helen had done to them …played with their minds and emotions like they were nothing. He curled up as close as he could to Connor, not saying anything but he didn’t want to let Connor out of his sight after this morning.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor was restless and on edge too after everything and all he wanted was to be with Cutter. He lay there next to him in the bed, his hand gently stroking his face silently, just trying to let him know he was there and to remind himself Cutter was still there as well. His mind was a churning mess and his thoughts kept drifting back to that cell... Helen... and Stephen... and what she had made him say... and it terrified him how real it all felt still.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter lay curled up to Connor, his eyes closed as Connor stroked his face, he felt comforted as he did as it told him that Connor was still there and they weren’t back in the cell. “I love you,” he said softly, after everything that morning, the personal questions that had been asked about his love life, he wanted Connor to know that he did still love him and that Connor was the most important person to him.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"I love you too Nick... always." he whispered softly. And it was true. He would always love Nick. And yes it hurt hearing the therapist ask those questions and hearing Cutter talk about Helen, and Stephen, and their past relationships...Connor wanted to talk to Cutter about it, to ask those questions that were sitting in his chest like daggers poking him constantly. But he also knew this wasn't the time... soon... maybe...he'd be able to bring himself to ask.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter knew he owed Connor an explanation, for the way he was feeling but he was scared to bring it up and after how hard the session had been that morning, he didn’t want to chance it and hurt Connor even more than he had that morning, he curled up as close to Connor as he could. He took several deep breaths, “I’m … I’m sorry,” he said quietly, it was the closest he could get and he knew that it would never be enough but until he felt ready to start telling Connor just how complicated everything was with Helen and Stephen and even Claudia, an apology was all he could offer.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor just laid there, hand on Cutter's face, his mind and his heart both running circles around each other. There was nothing he could say. And so he lay there close to Cutter, and put a soft kiss on his shoulder. Just then there was a small knock on the door and Connor lifted his head slightly to look towards the door as he heard Becker talking to someone. Lester had promised Doctor Jones wouldn't be by again, but Connor still wasn't sure he was up for a visit or talk. He was just so tired. But he waited to see who it was as the door slowly opened and he reluctantly let go of Cutter and tried to sit up a bit more.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled at that soft kiss on his shoulder and wished he could say something, anything but he didn't know what he could say and then he heard that knock as well, he carefully tried to sit up as Connor let go and tried to see if he could work out who their visitor was.
Connor(thearcfamily)	The door opened and Becker poked his head in and gave a small grin to the two in the bed. "You guys have a special visitor, if you are up for it." Connor looked at Cutter and then to Becker with a somewhat intrigued look, despite still feeling really really exhausted. He nodded to Becker who grinned even bigger and opened the door and stepped aside. "Hey guys," Connor said as he poked his head in with a smile and a wave. "Heard you guys could use a pick-me-up. So I came prepared" he said holding up his messenger bag and smaller paper bag.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was exhausted but thought a visitor might be a nice distraction and when he realised it was his Connor, he smiled, “Connor, it’s so good to see you,” he sat up a bit further as he took a look at what he was carrying and he tried to see what he had, “what did you bring?” he asked, rather curious to see what Connor had with him.
Connor(thearcfamily)	Connor smiled as he walked over and sat down in the chair, pulling it up closer to the bed. "Oh I got some goodies here for you guys" he said with a grin. First he picked up the paper bag and pulled out a carry try with two styrofoam cups. He took the and handed one to Cutter and one to his doppelganger. "Lester might have the milkshake department locked down, but I present to you another classic frozen treat. Convenience shop slushies! There's tropical punch for you Cutter, and I believe you are also fond of a good cherry cola" he said giving a small wink to Connor.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter couldn't help but laugh as Connor handed him his slushy, "oh I haven't had one of these in ages," he remarked as he smiled at Connor, "thank you," he took a careful sip of his slushy to try it, "it definitely beats hospital food," Even though to be fair anything beat hospital food.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor also smiled as he took the offered slushy and indulged in a slow, careful sip, trying to avoid a repeat of the milkshake brain freeze. "Oh this hits the spot mate, thanks!" "Well good, and there's more" he said with a nod toward the bag he had placed at the end of the bed. "For you Cutter, I... kinda raided your office at the ARC, sorry" he said with a somewhat sheepish grin as he handed over several worn books and a few magazines. "Figured you might want some of your favorites, give ya something to read and pass the time. Oh, and there's a new magazine in there too I just picked up. Think you might like it.... whole thing is about trilobites" he said with a wink.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I'm surprised you actually found anything in my office," Cutter admitted a bit sheepishly, "I think Jenny was complaining about the mess," he grinned as he took a look at what books and magazines Connor had brought him, "but this is brilliant thank you," and then his eyes lit up at the mention of trilobites, "you found a magazine on trilobites, I didn't actually know there was one," Cutter was very impressed and he relaxed a bit, as he turned his attention to what Connor had brought rather than the events of this morning.
Connor(thearcfamily)	"Oh ye of little faith! You just gotta know where to look and there are plenty of hidden treasures online" Cutter's Connor said with a grin as he wiggled his fingers. "And for you..." he said turning back to Connor. "I also have some reading material. Hope ya still like comics" he said with a smirk because, ya know there were definitely some differences between them and all. Connor looked at the stack of comics he was handed and his eyes went big. "Oh! meta forX-Men comics! This is amazing, thanks mate" he said as he picked up the first one and studied the cover, all the jumbled thoughts from that morning fading into the background.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter carefully picked up the Trilobites magazine that Connor had brought him, he still didn't have a lot of strength in his hands so it was taking him a while to begin to open the pages but he did start to read the first couple of pages, "this is amazing Connor, thank you," he looked back up at him with a smile.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor was already into the first volume of the comic series. He looked up with a grin on his face. "Absolutely brilliant, thanks mate! Really appreciate these." Cutter's Connor smiled as he sat back in the chair and watched them. "Glad I could do something to brighten up the day and help ya guys out!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled, "it definitely did," he said softly as he managed to look up from the pages on trilobites, "thank you, all of this means a lot," he told Connor, "we definitely needed this today," he didn't want to refer to this morning if he could help it so hopefully Connor understood what he meant.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	He did and it also helped that he had been explicitly told by Becker not to mention anything about what had happened, so he just nodded and smiled at how well his idea had worked out. "Agree, this is just what we needed- a very very bright spot in the middle of everything" Connor said, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed by everything- not just that day so far but since all of this had happened and how much everyone had rallied around them to help them through this. "It... it means a lot."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter smiled as he managed to flip another page and stared at all the different trilobites that were on display, this was going to keep him occupied for quite a few hours, "I'm ... this will help so much, I've missed being able to read and everything, after a while reality tv becomes boring," Even though Cutter didn't want to admit that he had become rather addicted to the latest season of meta for Big Brother.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor was still totally fine with more trash reality TV shows and conspiracy theory shows, but the comics were very very nice and he was already getting lost in the pile, starting on the next comic in the pile. This was going to be a very very nice distraction for a while!
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was starting to get lost in his newest magazine as he read on about the newest research and findings on trilobites and he got as comfortable as he could as continued to read his magazine, torn between wanting to devour it and wanting to take his time with it as well. He was definitely going to be occupied now for a few hours at least.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	After Connor’s visit, Cutter had read as much of his magazine as he could but he had eventually started to drift off and fell asleep. It had been an emotionally draining day and as nice as Connor’s visit had been, it had only kept him distracted for a little while and when he woke up he found that he was starting to get restless and wanted to get up and walk. He knew this was a bad idea and Becker would likely stop him but he wanted to get out of bed for a while and do something, anything where he wasn’t reminded of that day’s session. So he tentatively sat up and slowly started to make his way out of bed and see how far he’d be able to get before Becker did stop him.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker had pegged the movement even without fully watching Cutter. He knew they were walking a fine balance right now of trying to get Cutter and Connor better and being more self sufficient but also making sure they didn't hurt themselves in the process. So Becker stood and watched Cutter as he tried to get up. There was no lecture or reprimand, just careful concern. "Just let me know if you need anything Nick" he said simply, giving him a small smile and a nod.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter had been expecting a reprimand so looked a little startled when Becker merely offered his help, he shifted a bit, “I …I want to go for a walk,” he said quietly, “I want to get out of the room for a while,” he added after a moments hesitation.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded. He and Lester had figured Cutter and Connor both would be getting more and more restless as they got their strenth and stamina back and had worked out an arrangement for when they needed a change of scenery. "How about we go out to the patio for a bit?" he offered with a small smile. "Lester cleared it with the staff and as long as I am with you they said it's ok for you to go out for a little bit. Not that far of a walk either." Becker would of course be bringing the wheelchair but it would be good for Cutter to start feeling a bit more independent. Especially since his physical recovery was likely going to take longer than Connor's.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, still a little surprised that Becker was going to help him with this, “okay to the patio,” he agreed softly, “thank you, I think I just need to walk around for a bit,” he added, fidgeting slightly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Would be good to get you out and about too" Becker said with a nod as he got the wheelchair ready and wheeled it over so Cutter could use it to make the walking a bit easier if he wanted. "And don't worry about Connor, Jenny is on her way for her shift, and I have one of my men coming to take my post" he said with an encouraging smile. And with that he opened the door for Cutter so they could start making their way, letting Cutter go at his own pace but watching closely to help when and if needed.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, feeling a little guilty for leaving him without saying where he was going, “thank you,” he said softly, staring over at Connor, thinking back to that morning session and everything that had happened, he swallowed nervously and then slowly snd very stiffly began to walk towards the door. It hurt a lot more than he thought it would but he wanted to see just how much he could do by himself, he really missed being able to do things in his own and this reminded him just how far he had to still go.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker remembered what that was like all too well, that frustration and the feeling of being stuck- no backsliding but no forward progress either. He knew this would be hard for Cutter but also knew how much he needed to do this, to try and push himself a little. Thankfully it was only a couple of minutes to get to their destination. Becker put a hand on Cutter's shoulder and gave an encouraging smile. "You did great Nick" he said as he helped him sit down in the wheelchair.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter moaned softly at the effort that it took to sit back down in his chair after that. He nodded, wincing a little, “thank you,” he said softly, “I…I think i needed that,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Of course you did" Becker said with an understanding nod as he pulled one of the chairs over and took a seat. "Being cooped up like that gets maddening at times doesn't it?" Becker took a minute to look around, scanning the area, still knowing he had to be on guard even though they were in a mostly private and secluded area. "It's a great day to be outside though, so this worked out nicely."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, “it does,” he looked around at the patio, “ it’s much nicer being here, than being in a hospital room,” he said quietly, “I think I just needed a change of scenery, especially after …earlier,” he knew Becker would understand what he meant about the therapy session. He took a deep breath, as he tried to focus on his breathing and not so much on how much pain he was in.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded slowly. "It's a double-edge sword in a lot of ways isn't it? You need it to help get you to that next stage of recovery.... yet at times it feels like the farthest thing from recovery." Becker gave a small smile as he looked over at Cutter. "My first session with the therapist didn't go much better to be honest" he confessed. "Don’t think he got me to say more than one or two word answers the entire time. And when he finally did it ended up in a shouting match."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter shifted awkwardly and stared down at his hands, “I …I never meant to get that angry,” he admitted, “but those questions …about Helen and Stephen …and Claudia, it reminded of what Helen did in the cell, I …I didn’t want to say anything with Connor there,” he said guiltily.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Understandable though, it's a very personal topic- past relationships and all. Having a stranger poke around like that would be hard for anyone to cope with really." Becker watched Cutter for a moment, trying to think of the best way to broach the topic. He had an idea what the answers would have been had Cutter answered the therapist's questions. He knew it would hard for Cutter to face and hard for Connor to accept... but the first step, the first goal was to get Cutter to even admit it out loud and start talking about it in some way. "What happened to you... it was bad enough on its own, but Helen being your ex... that had to have made it all the more painful I imagine" he said slowly, watching Cutter closely as he did.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I ...I know that I have to talk to Connor, he deserves an answer ... but I don't think I can even begin to explain any of this ... why I ... why I feel the way I do," Cutter sighed, "I should hate Helen, it would be so much easier if I just hated her but ... she wasn't always like that, when we were at university it was me and Helen, in a way Helen was the first friend I ever made," he admitted softly, "I ... I can't explain it ..."
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You're human Nick, you have feelings. You had years with Helen right? You had a life with her before everything went sideways. You can't just wipe that away and forget it," Becker said softly as he leaned forward, arms on his knees as he spoke. "It not fair for anyone, including yourself, to expect those memories to just be forgotten and for you to pretend like they never even happened."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter bit his lip, "but what about Connor? How do I ... I mean even after everything Helen did to us ... how could I even begin to get him to understand that ... that I do still care about her, that I ..." he closed his eyes, "that I do still love her? I mean what boyfriend wants to hear that his partner is still in love with his ex who just survived a week being tortured mentally and physically by her?"
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker considered Cutter for a moment. So, Doctor Jones had been right to a certain extent. He did still have feelings of some sort for Helen. "Is it that you love Helen as she is or Helen as she was? how she used to be? The Helen you did love and enjoy being with?" Becker was silent a moment before continuing. "It's ok to love the memory of someone Nick. There's nothing wrong with loving what you once had. Grieving that loss. I think most people have feelings like that to some extent if they were honest." Sure not to the extent Cutter seemed to be dealing with but still... Becker hope this would be the start of Nick actually talking about things.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I …I don’t know,” Cutter trembled, staring down at his hands, “when Helen used the truth serum …she … she asked me if, if I still loved her and I told her I did, she … she wanted me to kiss her like I kissed Connor and I … I did,” the tears that he had been trying to keep back starting to fall, “I … I … it was just a simple yes or nor question, she didn’t clarify anything about what version of her …she just wanted to know if I still loved her and I couldn’t fight it … I couldn’t fight her and I told that I did,” he said miserably and he let out a sob. “I …I betrayed Connor,” he said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
Becker(thearcfamily)	That earned a silent curse as Becker closed his eyes for a moment. He had expected Helen had made Cutter confess things, but he hadn't expected her to have actually forced him to act on any of the twisted truths. "You do know that the premise of truth serums and forced confessions and interrogations is to twist a nugget of truth to the point it is so corrupted it barely resembles the truth anymore right?" Becker said as he put a hand on Cutter's knee. "There was a nugget of truth in that- you do still love some version of Helen. she was your wife, you loved her, maybe still love that version of her in a way. But that doesn't mean what you said, what she made you confess, what she made you do is the total truth either. You didn't betray Connor, Nick."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter couldn’t stop those tears now as he rocked back and forth slightly, the guilt from that day threatened to drown him, “it … it feels like I did, if I’d been stronger I … I could have resisted her,” he stared down at his hands, he couldn’t look Becker in the eye just then, “I …I didn’t want to answer Doctor Jones’ questions …because I … “ he trembled, “because because it wasn’t just Helen …” he closed his eyes, sobbing quietly, “Ste … Stephen was there too, when Helen was interrogating me, he …he wanted to know to know if I still loved him and I told him that I … that I did … I … I told him that I mis … missed what we were when we were together,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Yeah... ok, that was not as expected as the Helen bit had been. Becker didn't know there had been anything beyond a deep friendship between Cutter and Stephen. That revelation caused him to pause for a moment. He really was out of his league here.... but he had given his word he would do what he could to help. And he wasn't about to fail on the first day if he could help it. "Nick..." he said softly, still trying to think of what to say. "You can't beat yourself up for feeling normal feelings and emotions," he said softly. "Missing what you had in the past, wishing it hadn't ended, that doesn't necessarily mean you are throwing away what you have with Connor." Becker took a deep breath, praying this next move wasn't a mistake, considering how he had reacted to questions earlier. "Do love Connor? Are you happy with him? Do you want to be with him?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I do love Connor,” Cutter said softly, as he looked up at Becker, trying to wipe away those tears that kept falling, “I … I want to be with him, I want … to spend the rest of my life with him, I want a family with him,” he thought of Teddy and Tabby, of that weekend they had spent together before everything had gone so horribly wrong, “I … what if he doesn’t want to be with me after this?” Cutter wouldn’t have blamed Connor for not wanting anything to do with him after all of this, “if he knows I still do love Helen, Stephen and Claudia?” he trembled and let out another sob.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"That is something you and Connor will have to work through... when you both are ready to" Becker said softly. "But if there is one thing I know from just these few weeks I have been with the team, it is this- you love Connor and he loves you. You may always carry bits of Helen, Stephen, Claudia... but that's not to say you can't give Connor the love he wants or that he can't love you either."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Connor’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Cutter said quietly, “I … I …I’ve never experienced a relationship like this before, it’s this is different to what I’ve had with Helen, with Stephen and even with Claudia to an extent … I …I don’t want Connor to get hurt again because of me, I don’t want Helen to hurt him again and me being with him … he’s got a target on his back now, she'll keep coming back ... to try and hurt him to get to me, I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what Helen did and I hate that a part of me still loves her, I … “ his voice trailed off, “I don’t understand any of this … how I could still love someone who hurt me, who hurt people that I love …”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"It's because you are a good person, Nick. You want to see the good in people, remember the good you have seen and experienced. It's a gift in many ways but it is also a burden at times." Becker carefully put a hand on his shoulder. "Just remember, you can remember those good times, even treasure the good things that happened , and you can still care about what you had with Helen or Stephen. That doesn't mean you are cheating on Connor or anything. You love him. That much is crystal clear. And if that is what stays front and center- that love- I think you will be good. It wont be easy, but I know you both can figure this out. It will just take time."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter closed his eyes, steadying his breathing and tried to calm down … to take deep slow breaths, he nodded, “I … I know have work to do, that I owe Connor that conversation … I guess I’m just scared of his reaction,” he said softly. “He’s the most important person in my life and I know I’ll be hurting him again when I talk to about this … about Helen and Stephen and Claudia,” He looked up at Becker, the last of those stubborn tears still in his eyes, “thank you, for … for listening, for understanding, it … it means a lot to have someone listen and not think I’m crazy,” he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"It might be painful for Connor, and for you, when that conversation comes up" Becker said simply. "But you know what would hurt Connor more in the end? You keeping this from him and not talking to him about it. Trust me.... relationships don't survive well with secrets being kept from each other." Becker then smiled at that last bit. "I am glad it helped. I am always here if you need to talk, about anything. You're gonna get through this Nick, I have no doubt of that." Then Becker leaned back in his chair and gave a small sigh. "But no more depressing talk. How about we just sit and enjoy being outside for a bit before we start thinking about heading back when you are ready?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, wiping away the last of those stubborn tears, “I …I know I can’t keep this from him, I will tell him … when …when he’s up to it,” he said softly. And then he paused , “I ..I would like to sit out here a little while more thank you,” he said quietly, “it’s ... it's nice out here,” he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded at what Cutter said about talking to Connor at some point and gave him a small smile. He then leaned back in the chair and folded his arms behind his head and looked around the patio area and the other areas that could be seen from where they were. "Ya know what one of my favorite things to do in places like this? I like to people watch. (Especially when he wasn't up to his ears in surveillance duties). It's amazing what you can learn about someone just by watching them from afar..." And Becker proceeded to point out a few of the interesting people who were walking around just then.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter sank back in his chair as he tried to get more comfortable, he was rather tired now ... the day had been an emotionally draining one but he was feeling slightly more optimistic now than when he had been this morning after their first session, he listened to Becker begin to talk about what he observed about the people who walked past them, giving a small smile as he was content to just sit and listen to Becker for a while.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	It was Jenny’s shift at the hospital and she had actually managed to get a couple of hours sleep, she was still extremely worried about Connor and Nick, especially after she had been told that their therapy session earlier that day had not gone well. She wished there was more that she could do to help. When she got there, she noticed that Nick was gone and the man at the door explained that he was with Becker and that they would be back later. Jenny took a seat by Connor’s bed and waited for him to wake up so he would know that he wasn’t alone in the room when he did, she hated feeling so helpless and not for the first time, she wished that she hadn’t been so busy that day that she hadn’t seen Connor and Nick sneak off for the warehouse.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	At some point Connor stirred and his arm stretched out, looking for Cutter as he did. A moan of frustration could be heard when all he found was empty air. Slowly Connor's eyes opened as he took in the sight of the empty bed beside him. "Nick? Wh-where's Nick?" He asked, not feeling panicky when he was Jenny was there, but more confused than anything else.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	“Nick’s okay Connor,” Jenny assured him, “he was just feeling a bit restless so Captain Becker took him for a walk to the patio, they’ll be back later,” she told him.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Good.. that's good... Nick needs the time away..." Connor said with a sigh. Never mind he still was surprised Cutter wanted anything to do with him considering the state he was in. "He... He's doing better then... That’s good" Connor said with a wince as he tried to bite back the pain shooting through him as he slowly sat up.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	Jenny stood up to help him sit up “Connor, do you need me to get you anything?” she asked softly, her worried expression evident as she noticed that wince, instantly she was reaching over to feel his forehead and was smoothing out his pillows.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Some water would be nice" he said with a weak grin. "Guess I was out longer than I realized after.... everything" he said, not wanting to bring up the session before he had to.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	Jenny understood and poured a glass of water for him from the pitcher on his bedside table, “you still need to rest,” she said softly as she brought the glass of water to him, “it’s …this will take time before you can get your energy back,” She looked at Connor, “did you want to try drinking from the glass or would you like me to help you?” she didn’t want him to feel like he was being forced to drink.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor smiled softly as he took the glass. His hand was shaking a bit but managed to get a few sips down before he handed it back. "Thanks Jenny, that... hit the spot."
Jenny(thearcfamily)	“You’re welcome Connor,” Jenny said softly as she took the glass back, “it’s …if you ever do want to talk about anything at all, I’m here to listen as well,” she told him.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor sifted a little so he was more upright in the bed and gave a small sigh as he looked over at Jenny. "I... I would like to... talk that is but... I.. I'm afraid of Nick finding out" he said softly as he looked down at his hands. "I... I don't want him to know how... how broken and worthless I am now after.... Helen and Stephen.”
Jenny(thearcfamily)	“Oh Connor,” Jenny said softly, “you’re not broken and worthless, you’ve gone through something that no one should ever have to go through and I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but the fact you survived, it’s the opposite of broken and worthless, it shows just how strong that you are … “ she hesitated, “but I won’t tell Nick anything, I do think you two will have to talk but only when you are both ready to do so, I can tell Lester and Becker for you though if that will help so they know what to look for and how to help you?”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded slowly, giving Jenny a weak smile. "Thanks, Jenny. I... I just wish I could tell Nick. About what happened. Helen... she... she used the truth serum on us both. I know she hurt Nick a lot... but..." Connor trailed off as he stared at his hands. It was selfish wasn't it? To be thinking about himself, how much he was hurting... to be thinking about himself rather than Nick... but he was... and he hated that he couldn't just get over it and not be so weak.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	"You're hurting too," Jenny told him softly, "what Helen did to you and Nick was wrong and she will answer for it when we find her but your feelings are just as valid, they're not something that you can switch off, it's something that you and Nick will have to work on but you don't have to do this alone, we all want to help you through this,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor just stared at his hands for a moment, the one still throbbing whenever he moved it or trie to use it. He bit his lip as he fought back the tears that he felt burning behind his eyes. "Do... what... what if Nick realizes... the truth. What Helen did and what she said... what I said about me and Nick...How can he ever love me or want me... when he realizes Helen was... was right... he'll walk away... which he should do, I know that... but I don't want him to..."
Jenny(thearcfamily)	And now Jenny bit her lip because as much as she wanted to give Connor assurances that Nick wouldn’t walk away from him, after all how many times that she seen Nick push people who were trying to help him, “I … I can’t answer that one Connor,” she said softly, wishing she could do more to help him, “I’ve only known Nick for a year and I know how stubborn, he can be but I will tell you this … I know that Nick loves you and you make him very happy and this is going to be very hard for you to deal with, Nick’s not an easy person to get along with at the best of times but I know if anyone can it make it through this … you two can,” It didn’t sound quite as reassuring as she was hoping it would.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"He is stubborn. He... he deserves someone strong. Someone strong enough to have stood up to Helen... to have the strength... to not let her... not let her... do that..." Connor closed his eyes as he started to tremble the tears beginning to fall as he remembered everything Helen had done... everything he had said.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	“Oh Connor,” Jenny hesitated and then reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, “no one could have stood up to Helen, she twists and breaks people to get what she wants, she wanted to break you and Nick and you got out, she did awful things to you … used truth serum on you to try and break you and even Nick couldn’t fight against her,” she said softly. She knew James was worried about the possible treason charges that Nick and Connor were facing but she wasn’t going to bring that up just yet, she didn’t want Connor to worry any more than he already was.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"I.... I know I need to talk to Nick...but... I'm afraid to. I'll have to soon. I- I just... " Connor let out a small sob as he finally said at least part of it out loud. "I don't know how to tell him... what he will think. Helen... forced herself on me... forced me to kiss her.. to... to admit Nick loved her more than me.... she..." Connor could say anymore through the sobs as he closed his eyes.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	Jenny’s eyes filled with tears at that, she’d had her suspicions that what Helen had done to Connor had been terrible, but hearing it confirmed like this was worse and she knew that nothing she could say would make it better, “she shouldn’t have done that,” she said softly, “what she did was wrong and I’m sorry this has happened to you Connor,” she wished she could say something, anything that would help Connor but she knew right then that nothing would, the best she could do was be supportive to let Connor know that he wouldn’t be alone, “I’m … “ her voice broke, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m here as long as you need me Connor,” she said softly.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor looked at Jenny a moment and then leaned over and hugged her, muttering an apology into her shoulder as he tried to still the trembling sobs. Eventually, the tears stopped, and he took a slow deep breath. Th-thank you.. Jenny. I.. you... thank you."
Jenny(thearcfamily)	Jenny’s eyes filled with tears at that, she’d had her suspicions that what Helen had done to Connor had been terrible, but hearing it confirmed like this was worse and she knew that nothing she could say would make it better, “she shouldn’t have done that,” she said softly, “what she did was wrong and I’m sorry this has happened to you Connor,” she wished she could say something, anything that would help Connor but she knew right then that nothing would, the best she could do was be supportive to let Connor know that he wouldn’t be alone, “I’m … “ her voice broke, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m here as long as you need me Connor,” she said softly.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	How long Connor sat there, leaning against Jenny, he didn't know. But eventually, he felt himself start to drift off and felt Jenny carefully help him lay back in the bed. He thought he had muttered another 'thank you’, he had tried to anyway before he fell into a less than peaceful sleep.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester had arrived later that evening to relieve Jenny from her shift and send her some so she could actually get some sleep, he knew Becker had been out with Cutter and was just doing a quick patrol before he reported back and so a while after Jenny left for the evening, Lester sat down in the small couch and waited, flipping through a random magazine as he sporadically looked up to check on Cutter and Connor sleeping in the bed.
Becker(thearcfamily)	A short time later there was a light knock on the door, signaling Becker's return a few second before the door opened. He poked his head in quietly to see if Cutter and Connor were asleep. "Lester,Sir" he said with a nod as he walked in. "Sorry for the delay, but everything is secure and the new shift is in for the evening."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded as he put down the magazine, "good thank you Captain, anything new to report?" he asked, as he looked back over at Cutter and Connor who were asleep in the bed.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Oh boy, I am not even sure where to start with that one boss" Becker said rubbing the back of his head as he glanced over at Cutter. "I got Nick to actually talk a bit... It... was definitely an eye-opening day" Becker sighed as he walked over and nodded at the empty spot on the couch and sat down. "Doctor Jones was right" he said after a moment of trying to figure out how to proceed. "About Nick... still having feelings for Helen... and Stephen apparently..."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“And Stephen?” that was news to Lester, “I knew that Hart had had the affair with Helen but I didn’t realise that his relationship extended to both Cutters in that way,” he sighed, “I knew this was going to be complicated, getting Nick to open up … I didn’t realise the extent of his romantic entanglements … that woman really did a number on him didn’t she?” Lester sighed and looked over at Cutter and Connor, “I can’t even begin to imagine how Connor is going to feel about this,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I'm no shrink and am out of my field here by miles" Becker said with a sigh as he looked at Lester. "But speaking off the cuff, I'd say Nick is having trouble compartmentalizing things? It's almost like he's operating on the idea that if he admits he doesn't love Helen, he's also admitting that the years he had with her, the good things that were there, are no longer valid? He kept talking like saying he had loved Helen and that he missed what they had had that it means he's rejecting Connor." Becker sighed again and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "He's really not used to talking about this sort of thing, that much is clear."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“I mean it would make sense, if he’s having trouble compartmentalising, I’ll talk to Doctor Jones and see what she thinks is the best course of action but I think we might need to work at getting Nick to understand that his past relationships will still have value and that he won’t be betraying Connor if he accepts that his feelings for Helen and Stephen are still valid, even though I think personally that the only we we can do that if Nick does open up to Connor,” he sighed, “I really can’t see him getting to agree to sit down and talk to Doctor Jones again, even if it was one on one,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded slowly as he looked over at the two asleep in the bed. "Nick said he knows he has to talk to Connor about it... but he's terrified of what Connor's reaction will be. I cant say I blame him honestly, this isn't going to be easy for either of them." Becker shook his head and looked back at Lester. "I'll keep talking to him, see what progress I can make."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, “it’s going to be a long hard journey for both of them,” he said softly as he looked over at the bed and then back up at Becker, “but talking to Nick again might not be a bad idea, did …” he hesitated, “did Nick happen to mention anything about what Helen did to him in the cell? That could potentially guide us to how to approach this … to get him to open up some more?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker's gaze dropped, unable to meet Lester's gaze just then. "He did... at least some. Under the influence of the truth serum, she made him, and I’m also assuming Connor since it seems she used it on him as well.... She made Nick not only confess he still loved her but she also force him to act on it. Stephen was evidently there for the truth serum bit too and also interrogated him some as well."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester closed his eyes, “I really should have left Helen Cutter back in that anomaly,” he muttered again, “no wonder he freaked out this morning, he wouldn’t have wanted to share that information with Connor being there,” he opened his eyes again, “so we’re looking at potential assault as well, if Helen forced him to act on his confession of love … I’ll talk to Doctor Jones,” he looked over at Nick, where he was curled up next to Connor, “if we go to hard on Nick to get him to open up it could have the opposite effect, he may shut down completely …we have to ease him into this,” he hesitated, “Doctor Jones was talking about wanting to keep Nick in hospital longer, which won’t help his recovery at all,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Afraid there's not much of a 'potentially' there Lester..." Becker said his voice sad and his eyes going dark. "Connor was more forthcoming with some of the details of what he went through, and I am working on the assumption Helen did similar to Nick and she did to Connor, which I think is a fairly safe one to make." Becker closed his eyes and took a deep breath, fighting back the burning he felt in his eyes just then a the thought back to what Connor had told him just a short while ago. "Helen did assault Connor, multiple times..." he said staring at his hands for a moment. "Connor said she forced herself on him, forced him to kiss her multiple times... and evidently Stephen was fond of manhandling Connor when he could and using his power to subdue him and force him to do Helen's biding."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” Lester swore as he closed his eyes at hearing that, “and Nick still has feelings for both Helen and Stephen? After everything … this … this will be harder, I’ll talk to Doctor Jones … come up with a treatment plan, it … I know they won’t like it but we may need to try having do individual therapy sessions, this … they both need to talk to someone and until they’re both in a place where they can talk about what they experienced, I don’t think having them both in therapy together is a good idea,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"It's a mess" Becker agreed. "Nick has no idea how far they went with Connor, and Connor is operating on assumptions of what happened to Nick. Neither are to a point of even remotely processing everything fully. They would both benefit form talking ti each other now but there's also the risk of it just destroying the progress they have already made." "Nick has to figure out, on his own terms, how to let go of that past he had with Helen and stephen...again I am no shrink.... but just from talking to him today..... that seems like one of the root hangups he has with all of this. And Connor... he just needs help processing it all and.... realizing Helen and Stephen haven't taken away his worth and value. He's absolutely convinced Nick will reject him if he found out what he 'let' Helen and Stephen do." Becker sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "This is so out of my league, but they both do need to talk about all this, work through everything... I... I don't think they are going to be able to start healing, at least mentally...emotionally... until they finally vocaize all this and face it."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester sighed, mentally cursing Helen and Stephen for the damage that they had caused and it made him more determined to hunt Helen down and may her pay for what she had done. If Stephen wasn’t already dead, he’d kill him. “Based on your experience with talking to them today Captain, do you think that they are prepared for that? To be able to sit down in a safe place and talk about their shared experiences with each other - maybe if one of us was present with them we could monitor the situation, if we need to intervene we can, if Doctor Jones could see that they’re willing to work on this … talk to each other about their experiences, it may make her more likely for them to be able to leave the hospital but I do agree until they know what the other went through, they won’t even be able to begin to process and health from the trauma that they’ve experienced,” he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"We can try. I think we need to try" Becker replied, looking over to Cutter and Connor. "I'm not sure how good it will go with Doctor Jones there, but I think they would open up and talk to each other if one of us were there." "If we can get them to talk to each other, maybe Cutter will realize what all actually happened and what Helen and Stephen did.... and maybe Connor will realize his entire identity isn't now defined by what happened."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, "I'll talk to Doctor Jones, I think they'll be more receptive if she wasn't in the room but this would be a very important first step for them, to learn what they experienced ... that they can begin to heal from this but they first have to accept it and talk about it," he paused, "I know I've already asked a lot of you Captain but would you be willing to sit with them, to help them have this conversation ... you've bonded with them extremely well and they trust you, I think they would be willing to share their experiences more if you were there to help them,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Of course," Becker said with a small nod. "I... I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a connection to them already. I don't know what good I can actually be but you have my word, I'll do whatever I can to try and help Nick and Connor through this."
Lester(thearcfamily)	"Thank you Captain, I know this hasn't quite been what your job description entailed but I appreciate everything you've done for us, this team ... you've helped Connor and Nick so much already, I don't know where we'd be without you," Lester said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"It's been a roller coaster, I won't lie Sir," Becker said with a small smile. "But this team... and those two especially" he said with a nod towards the bed, "have really grown on me for some reason. I... I just hope I can give them the support they need. It is definitely going to be a team effort."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded with a soft smile, “based on what I’ve seen so far, I don’t think they would have made this much progress without you Captain,” he told Becker , “I know you being here has already helped them so much,”