A Private Hospital - London

[itsananomaly]

A few days later and it was time for Cutter and Connor to move onto the next phase of their recovery and begin their physiotherapy sessions. Lester had arranged for them to be able to do their sessions together and Jenny and Becker would be with them to help them and provide moral support. Cutter was also nervous because after this he and Connor were supposed to be starting their new feeding schedule for starting solids and he was already dreading it but he knew these were the steps that they had to take in order to leave the hospital. [part fourteen. CW for medical trauma, injuries and recovery and discussion of gunshot wounds; there’s also cw for mistreatment of patients and general panic attack/anxiety. Preplayed with the amazing anomaly_research_nerd. NFB for distance but OOC welcome!]

Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was nervous about starting their physiotherapy today, he knew that it was coming and for all his attempts to get out of bed and escape the room - the idea of actually spending time learning how to walk properly again terrified him. They had been taken to their first session and he was terrified, sitting there in his wheelchair and looking around the room. He looked at Connor who was next to him, he was extremely glad that they were doing these session together - he didn’t think he could handle it at all if he was alone. He reached a hand over towards him, not for the first time wishing that they weren’t in casts. He missed being able to hold Connor’s hands properly. He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t - he just wanted to be near Connor as much as possible, especially now.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor had been nervous all night, knowing he needed to sleep as much as he could because they were getting their first phsyio session. But that was exactly what had kept him up most of the night. It was of course a good sign- they were progressing enough to start therapy again, but he was dreading the pain and everything that he also knew was going to come from it all. Connor reached over and gave Cutter a small somewhat forced smile and reached out and put a hand over his. He didn't say anything either, the butterflies were so bad he was worried he'd feel even worse if he tried to speak just then. So he sat there, waiting, trying to stay as calm as he could so Cutter wouldn't be too worried. He had to be strong, Cutter needed him to be strong.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker had been watching, standing by the door since they had arrived. Lester had called last minute that he wouldn't be able to be there for their first session like he had planned- 'Defense Ministry Bullcrap' was the phrase he had used- and so he had asked Becker to go in his place. And Becker of course was happy to, though he found himself drifting back in time as he looked around the room as they first arrived, seeing himself sitting there in a wheelchair, feeling probably exactly the same as Cutter and Connor were now. He walked over and stood behind them both and put and hand on each of their shoulders gently and leaned over so his head was between them. "You guys got this. And I will be right here. I'm not going anywhere" he said in as gentle and encouraging a tone as he could.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, trying to not tremble but he couldn't help it, he took a deep breath, "thank you Becker," he said softly, "I ... we can do this," he wished he sounded more confident than he sounded, "right Connor?" he looked over at him.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	"Captain Becker's right," Jenny spoke up from where she had been consulting the physiotherapists who would be working with them that session, "we're not going anywhere, we're going to be here with you for this session - to help you through this,," she said gently.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded and swallowed hard. "Aye we.... we can do this" he said with as determined and confident a tone as he could muster just then. And he was going to need all the confidence, faked or otherwise, that he could muster because it seemed like they were not going to waste much time getting right into things.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter took a deep breath as he looked from Becker and Jenny to Connor, "what .. what are ...um ... what do we need to do first?" he asked softly as he tried to focus on the task that lay ahead and tried not to panic when he thought of how much pain and how much work was going to be involved.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor gave Cutter's arm a gently squeeze as the therapist went over the sets they would be starting with and what the goals were for the day. Connor thought it sounded more like a week's worth of things rather than a single session and he tried to swallow down that flipping feeling in his stomach. Was definitely leg day today.... and the effort it took just to get out of the wheelchair and onto the bench where they would be doing most of the session was bringing tears to his eyes at how much it hurt and just how weak he really felt. "See? Not... too bad. You can do it Nick," he said pushing that down as he gave Cutter a small smile.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter followed those instructions and tried to brace himself to lift himself out of the wheelchair but it really was an entirely different scenario to getting to a bench then trying to get out of bed and walk around the room. Cutter tried really hard to lift himself up out of the wheelchair and it took a lot more effort and pain just to do that one small task. He blinked back tears of pain as he did and somehow managed to take those small steps to the bench and he let out a sob that was a mix of both pain and relief that he was sitting down again but he knew that it would be short lived.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	What hope there was of a respite period just for making it out of the wheelchair was short lived as one of the techs situated themselves in front of Connor and got him started on the first exercise they would be learning. Seemed simple enough. Basic leg extensions and flexes. He could do this... he could... Only bite back the pain as he started. How this could hurt as much and possibly even more than the actual walking was beyond him. But after just a few reps with each leg, Connor was feeling like his legs were on fire.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter braced himself as the physiotherapist sat down in front of him and began to start the process of of his own exercises and then he started on a set similar to Connor’s. He tried so very hard to push through, to do those exercises but it was too much … he was struggling to do even the basic flexing and he wanted it to stop. His leg was throbbing and he was already in so much agony. “I … I can’t,” he sobbed. "I want to stop,"
Jenny(thearcfamily)	"You're doing really well Nick," Jenny tried to be encouraging even though it was breaking her heart to see Nick in so much pain, "you just have to do a few more, can you manage that for me? Just a few more sets and then you can stop for a bit okay?" Cutter blinked back tears but he somehow managed to keep going, even though he was fully crying by the end of it and he just wanted to go back to the hospital bed and lie down - he never thought he'd be saying that about his hospital room but that was more preferable to here.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor lasted only about a minute longer than Cutter before he hit his breaking point. The pain was too much, the burning moving up his legs with ever movement. As the pain got to the point he could barely breathe and he felt that burning moving up his legs and even into his back, snaking up his spine, he stopped. "I... I can't do it... I... I... " Connor's voice trembled as a strangled sob escape him and he started to tremble. He tried to stop himself, to steady himself but he couldn't focus on anything but the pain.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker had been watching their progress. He knew this was going to be brutal for them, especially this early on. But he also knew this was what they needed and what had to be done if they wanted to get back some semblance of a normal life outside the hospital. But when he heard that sob, and saw the agony Connor was in, he was right back to that same place, only a few short years ago and Becker couldn't stay quiet anymore as he stepped forward and knelt down next to Connor. "Hey, Connor... look at me" he said gently, trying to get the younger man's gaze on him and not the therapist. "You are doing a great job. Think you can do just a couple more for me?" he asked as he held out his hand for Connor to take if he wanted. Connor bit his lip and choked back a sob as he took Becker's offered hand and pushed himself through somehow and finished the set, nearly collapsing against Becker as he did, a ragged sob escaping him as he did.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter rocked back and forth, "I don't want to do anymore," he sobbed, the tears still rolling down his face, "can we go back to our room please? I can't do anymore, it hurts,"
Jenny(thearcfamily)	"Oh Nick," Jenny said softly as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, careful to not touch the burn mark, "I know this is hard and it's going to get harder before it gets better but we need you to do these exercises so that you can leave the hospital, do you think you could maybe do another exercise for us?" she glanced over at Connor and Becker, worried that this was too soon for them to be starting this. "I ... I don't know if I can," Cutter trembled as he let out a sob.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker caught Jenny's worried look and glanced over at Cutter before moving his attention back to Connor. He was still trembling, a near death grip on Becker's hand, and tears wetting his cheeks. It was killing Becker seeing him, seeing them both, like this. It was such a hard balance not letting them get complacent and not pushing too hard at the same time. And it was an even harder thing to be the one making that kind of call. He had spoken with the therapy techs when he had found out he would be filling for Lester today, so he knew what they had planned to try and get through. Becker put his attention fully on Connor as he started to speak. "We got one more exercise to do ok? Just a little longer and then we can stop alright? I know you can do this for me Connor... I believe in you."
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor let out a shuddering breath and shook his head. He didn't want to do anything other than lay down and forget everything else at that moment. "Let's do this next exercise, alright?" Becker said gently. "It's just one set and then we will be done." Connor lifted his head and looked at Becker and gave the smallest of nods as he bit his lip. He then followed the therapist's directions and started the set, locking his eyes on Becker as he did. In fact, whether it was willingly or a not-so-subtle nudge that Connor had missed, but Becker was now in front of him, guiding him completely through the set. Connor leg Becker hold his arms to provide support as he slowly tried to stand up, doing as Becker said and trying to keep his back as straight as he could. Which of course just made it all the more painful, the muscles of around his ribs protecting loudly and the chest and shoulders screaming at him with that simple motion. And once he was to his feet, Connor tried to steady himself as Becker slowly gave him the countdown and then helped him sit back down in the same slow and controlled motion. "How many... do I have... to do..." Connor gasped once he was seated again. "Let's shoot for ten total" Becker said, giving Connor a moment to catch his breath and then giving a gentle nod and helping him start the second rep.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled and closed his eyes when Becker announced one more exercise but he took a deep breath, tried to compose himself as much as possible and then he began the new set of exercises, biting back screams of pain every single time.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	Jenny stayed close with him, encouraging him through every set, “you’re nearly there Nick, just a little more and then you can stop okay? You just have to push through a little more,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Somehow, Connor had made it through the set, and when Becker counted out the last rep Connor sank down onto the bench with a pained gasp. His body hurt so badly. He couldn't move, he couldn't hardly even keep himself upright. Connor felt himself start to pitch forward but he couldn't do anything to stop it. He couldn't even try and catch himself as he started to fall. But instead of the floor, he hit something softer and more comforting. He felt a pair of strong yet surprisingly gentle arms wrap around him and support him. The pain was near overwhelming and it took a minute or two before Connor could force his eyes open. And when he did, slowly looking up as much as he could without moving his head too much, he saw Becker looking down at him. Connor wanted to say something, but he couldn't he was too tired. He must have been really out of it... because he could have almost sworn he saw tears brimming in the soldier's eyes.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I got you Connor..." Becker said softly as he held the younger man close. "You did good Connor... you did so good," he said as he looked over at Jenny and Cutter. "We're done, you don't have to do anymore right now, alright?" Becker felt a small shift as Connor tried to nod, his head still resting against his chest, the energy completely out of him at that point. There was a stinging behind his eyes that Becker was trying to ignore as he shifted Connor slightly and all but scooped him up. "I'm proud of you Connor..." he whispered as he carried Connor over to the wheelchair again and got him situated. And through the exhausted and pained sob that escaped him just then, a faint smile spread across the young man's face.
Jenny(thearcfamily)	“You did so well Nick, Connor,” Jenny looked from Cutter to Connor in Becker’s arms, “this was a really good first session,” she assured them.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter could only let out a sob and a moan of pain as he tried to get enough focus back to stand up to move over to his wheelchair, he somehow managed to get in a standing position and then sat down on the bench again. He was not going to be moving anytime soon.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker gave a nod to Jenny for her to keep an eye on Connor and he got up and hurried over to Cutter. "Hey, you done more than enough. Let me take it from here, alright?" he said with an encouraging smile as he sat on the bench beside Cutter and put an arm around his waist and helped Cutter put one arm around his shoulder. "Alright, on three. One...two... three!" Slowly Becker stood, taking as much of Cutter's weight as he could so all he really had to do was shuffle his feet along the floor as they went. Just a few steps later Becker was slowly helping Cutter down into the wheelchair. He met Jenny's gaze and had to turn around for a minute to hide the tears he fel building and brush them away quickly before turning back. "Alright then, let's get back to those beds!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	It had been a long and tiring morning and all Cutter wanted to do was curl up next to Connor and sleep. He was tired and in so much pain and the last thing he felt like doing was eating, maybe if he was asleep they wouldn’t bother and Lester wasn’t there, they couldn’t start this without Lester right? He tried to shut everything else out, focusing on just laying there with Connor and trying to sleep.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	As soon as they had made it to the room, and with more help than he cared to think about needed from Becker, Connor curled up on the bed and was almost immediately falling into an exhausted and uneasy sleep. He hurt so badly and the reduced mix of pain meds they had started them on was nowhere near enough to take much of the edge off, especially after that morning. Connor curled himself up against Cutter the best that he could as he drifted in and out of the pain-filled sleep. He knew they weren't done for the day. He knew there was still more they wanted them to do- all in the name of getting better. But Connor had decided that short of Lester point-blank ordering him to do something he was not going to move from the bed or from beside Nick.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker had stayed in the room after helping Cutter and Connor get back in bed and making sure they were as comfortable as they could be considering what all they had just been through. From his position by the door he watched the two carefully as they slept for before moving to his post outside the door sometime later. Once outside, Becker checked his watch and frowned. Lester should have been here by now, and they were scheduled to start trying the new feeding regimen in an hour or so. And he was due to make his rounds to check in with his team soon as well. Pulling out his phone, Becker punched in the speed dial for Lester and held the phone up to his ear. ”Hey Lester, it's Becker....”
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter stayed completely still, he heard Becker leave but he didn’t lift his head. He just wanted to forget about everything- the pain, the physio, the hospital…he just wanted to sleep. He wasn’t sure if he had fallen asleep or not but he woke to the sound of the nurses coming in and he lifted his head as they approached. “We’re going to start with your new feeding schedule,” one of the nurses told him and he could feel the panic start up. “You can’t,” his mouth went dry, “Lester’s not here and I’m not hungry,” “We can’t wait for him,” was the reply, “we’re starting now,” “No,” Cutter gripped his sheets tightly and tried to back away but found that he couldn’t move without bumping into Connor, “no!”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor had been drifting on the edge of being asleep and awake. How long, he didn't know. But he had been circled up against Cutter as close as he could, his head buried against his back and his bad arm draped over him carefully. He began to stir, waking up more when he heard voices he didn't recognize at first and felt Cutter moving beside him. Slowly he opened his eyes and lifted his head to try and see what was going on. "Nick? Nick, what's wrong?" he asked suddenly, alert that something was wrong. He looked to Cutter's side of the bed and saw several of the nurses there. He turned and looked over his shoulder to his side and saw one of the nurses standing there as well. He knew what that meant and he felt a ball of dread and panic start to settle in his stomach. "Go away" he said as he tried to shift and pull Cutter closer.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter tried to move back, moving in as close to Connor as he could - someone was talking to him but he couldn’t understand what she was saying - something about ‘feeding’ but all he could think about was Helen, that it was Helen feeding him that dog food back in the cell, “no, please Helen don’t … I don’t … Connor … “ he tried to reach out for Connor, someone was trying to move him away, back towards the other end of the bed. He tried to frantically reach out and hold the bed rail to stop him being taken. He screamed, “no, I won’t do it! Connor!”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor clung to Cutter as long as he could but he felt hands grabbing him and pulling him away. He pulled against those hands as much as he could but he felt him slipping away and the panic really hit at that moment and Connor started struggling even more. "Nick! Leave him alone!" Connor screamed as he started to kick. "Let go! Don't make us do it!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"Connor!" Cutter was struggling to breathe as he tried to cling onto the bed, ignoring the pain in his hands as he grabbed on but still he was being dragged away, away from Connor, "Helen please don't take Connor! No!" There were more voices, urgent voices but he couldn't understand anything - he couldn't make sense of anything, he was back in that cell with Helen, "no!" he cried out again, the tears falling down his cheeks, "don't hurt Connor! Connor!"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor reached out trying to grab Nick but came up with nothing but empty air and he panicked even more as he caught only snippets if what was being said through the ringing in his ears, the sound of his own sobs, and the near blinding panic. "Can't have them together.... too much.... have to separate..... teach them.... stop the struggling..." "Get off me! Don't touch me!" Connor screamed out as he tried to grab hold if the bed as he felt himself start to slide off the bag as he was dragged away. "I don't want to! I'm not going to!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter couldn’t breathe as he clung with all his might to that bed rail but eventually, stronger hands pulled him away … Helen … she was finally going to over power him, make him eat that dog food, “CONNOR!” he started thrashing as he was made to sit up in bed, “CONNOR! DON’T HURT HIM HELEN! PLEASE!” There was more talking, why couldn’t he here anything and then one word floated to him, “restrain him,” The panic was almost blinding now as he tried to kick out, rough hands were grabbing him, forcing him down. Then something hot was near him.The smell made him gag and then they took that opportunity to force the spoon into his mouth. He screamed, spitting the food back out and gasped at the burning in his throat. He was sobbing now, trying to escape from the bed but he was physically restrained now, something had been tied around his ankles to stop him from kicking. Helen was going to be furious, he knew but he didn’t want to eat any more dog food.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor struggled and kicked as much as he could but it was no use. He felt himself being pulled from the bed and then forced down into one of the chairs, He tried to get up, to break free, to rub back to Cutter. But he felt hands holding him down from behind, pinning him to the chair so he couldn't move. "NICK!!! DON'T YOU DARE HURT HIM!" Connor cried out as he pulled and kicked with all his might. His ears were ringing and he felt dizzy as he struggled to breathe. He felt his head being restrained and his mouth forced open. The next instant he was gagging as the food was forced in. he spat it back out, choking on the taste as he struggled even harder, pushing against the nurses, his head slamming back over and over as he tried to break free.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter tried to keep his mouth closed, to stop the food going in but with his legs now tied now and his arms pinned back, once the spoon was forced into his mouth and before he had a chance to spit it back out again, a hand was covering his mouth and forced him to swallow it down and he was finding it harder to stay focused, finding it harder to breathe and he bit the hand that was covering his mouth and then he started to heave and was throwing up everything that was in his stomach. "Connor ..." he moaned weekly once he had managed to stop throwing up.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor felt another spoonful go in and through the panic and his own desperate cries he heard the words "force him to" and he started kicking and struggling harder, the pain that was setting his entire body on fire dulled by the panic that had taken over. He fought aginst the food, trying to spit it out, but something was keeping his mouth closed. Even as he refused to swallow he felt himself on the verge of choking before he was able to pull free, spitting the food out with a choking cough. "LET....GO... OF.... ME!" Connor yelled when he could speak again, still desperate to get back to Nick, his head slamming back with each word and he struggled to get free. "HE NEEDS ME!!! NICK!!!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter slumped weakly again the pillows as the nurses cleaned up his vomit, he sat there crying in pain as they forced another spoonful in him. He just wanted to go to sleep, he was losing his strength to fight, Helen had won ... Helen was going to chain him up and feed him all that dog food again. He didn't have the strength to spit back out the food this time, he just lay there and sobbed, "Connor," he kept calling out, drained, unable to stop his body spasming as they kept forcing that food down, the taste made him gag but he didn't bring it up this time. He wanted this to stop, he wanted to be with Connor, why were they separating him? "I want Connor please!"
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester was cursing the Defence Ministry for holding up his morning, he had wanted to be at the hospital that morning to be there with Nick and Connor, to help them with their first physio session and to be there for their first feeding session, he hoped that the nurses had listened to him and hadn't started to feed them yet. It felt like forever but he finally got to Nick and Connor's floor, coming up to their room at the same time Becker was and then he paused, he could hear screams and shouts coming from Nick and Connor's room and he looked over at Becker in concern, "something's wrong,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Shit... Helen!" Becker's mind went to the worst and arguably the most logical cause for that kind of commotion and he headed for the door and flung it open, dreading what he was going to see and also mentally cursing himself. He had left his post because there had been a commotion down in the lobby and he was worried it was Helen. Proved to be false alarm... but had that just meant she had snuck into he room while he was gone? Truth was, finding Helen there in the room would have made more sense to his mind than the scene that waited him and Lester when they barged in. "What the bloody hell?" he asked as he stared in shock at the state Connor and Cutter were in. And then the shock turned immediately into rage when he heard Connor's desperate cries.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter lay there, pinned down and restrained on the bed, crying softly as the nurses kept feeding him, he didn't have the strength to fight Helen anymore ... he just wanted to be left alone, to sleep and for a while he started to drift .... he was on autopilot now and every time that spoonful of food kept being shoved in, he just swallowed it ... it was less painful if he did that. At first he thought he could hear new voices in the room - one was familiar ... he managed to look his head over and blinked his vision several times to clear it, "James ...Becker?" he managed to croak out and then he started crying louder.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor had seen the door open and had felt his heart sink as he stopped struggling, expecting to see Helen walking in. But it wasn't Helen. It was Lester. And Becker. Connor started to struggle again, much weaker than before. His entire body hurt, he felt sick, he was dizzy, but there was one thing he knew. Nick needed help. Fighting against the nurses holding him down he turned toward the door, desperate eyes locking on the two int he doorway. "Help Nick! Please... Lester... Becker... Help Nick!" he cried weakly as he tried to slam his head back and get free again but could barely move he was so weak and worn out.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester took in the scene in disbelief, unable to believe what he was seeing, "let go of them this instant!" he snapped at the nurses who were holding onto Cutter and Connor, "I told you to wait until I got here," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. One of the nurses started to protest but Lester cut her off with a glare, "I don't want to hear it, I want you to let go of them now!"
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker barely waited for a response from any of the nurses and started towards Connor, determined to remove anyone who stood in his way. He couldn't believe what he was seeing and he knew he had to put a stop to it. "I'd back off if I were you" he said coldly to one of the nurses who tried to step between him and Connor.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester glowered at one of the nurses as she tried to protest him walking over to Cutter and she shrunk back suddenly afraid, and he walked over to the bed, to sit down next to Cutter, “Oh Nick…” he said softly as he took a good look at the man who was still restrained by his feet and he carefully undid those straps, “I’m sorry, this wasn’t supposed to happen,” he trembled as he sat with him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, making sure not to touch the burn mark that was there.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker was at Connor's side at the same time as the nurses all backed away, sensing that getting in the way would probably end poorly. Becker knelt in front of the chair, catching Connor as he started to slump forward. "Nick.. get... Nick...." he said weakly. "Lester's with him. He's going to be ok Connor..." Becker said reassuringly as he glanced over his shoulder taking a good look at Cutter for the first time since they had walked in. "Cutter will be fine.... it's you I'm worried about right now" Becker said as he turned back to focus on Connor.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter lay there sobbing, he was still terrified that he was going to wake up in that cell, that Helen was there and then he tried to find Connor, "Connor?" he called , trying to sit up so he could look, "Connor?" "Shh .. Connor is safe, Captain Becker is with him," Lester told him, "you're safe, here, right now," he glowered at the nurses, "I want the doctors in here now, do you think you can manage those instructions without screwing up? I shouldn't even trust you with that small a task but I'm not leaving Nick and Connor in here with you," the nurses didn't budge, "get out!" he snapped, "get me those doctors now! Or heaven help me, you'll be lucky to get a job picking up garbage after this," The nurses all wisely fled at that moment.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker glared at the nurses who were still lingering around, watching as if they were afraid HE would do something to hurt Connor! "I'd do as the man said" he growled, as he stayed next to Connor, arm around him protectively. He watched as the nurses all finally fled under the ire of Lester and the glare of Becker. Once they were gone he started looked at Connor closer and he felt a mix of sadness and anger rising up inside even more. "Are they.... they..." Connor tried to choke out as he looked around the room for the first time since Becker had gotten to him. "They're gone Connor... You're safe. You both are..." Becker said. "Nick... I want... to see Nick..." Connor said with a sob.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter kept crying, he wanted to sit up, to see Connor but he was in so much pain right then. "Is ... Helen's not here, is she?" he looked frantic, as his eyes darted around the room to try and see her. Lester closed his eyes, cursing everything and everyone he could think of who was responsible for Connor and Cutter being like this, "no, Helen's not here," He did wonder if it would be wise to mention that there was a commotion earlier, that Captain Becker had thought that it could have been Helen but Cutter and Connor were anxious enough right now that mentioning the mere possibility that Helen could have been in the building would set them off again. "You're safe, I assure you that Captain Becker and I are not going to let anything or anyone harm you," he promised.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker looked back over his shoulder, meeting Lester's gaze for a moment and exchanging a look. And it was during that quick moment his attention was diverted that Connor panicked again, and tried to jump up out of the chair and rush towards the bed to get to Cutter. Becker spun around as Connor stepped past him and managed to take a step or two towards the bad before he gave a cry of pain and started to collapse towards the floor. Becker was on him in an instant and managed to get a hold of him and keep him from completely faceplanting on the hard floor. As it was, he took the bulk of the impact, making sure his body was between Connor and the ground. "Hey hey... easy there... Connor? Connor, are you ok?" he asked as he looked at the younger man the concern evident on his face. "I... I'm... fine..." Connor said though he sounded weak and he was trembling more than before. "Please... I want to be with Nick... Please Becker..." he begged as he started sobbing there on the floor. Becker cursed himself under his breath. He should have been at his post. If he had been, this would have never happened. Cutter and Connor.... they would never have ended up like this if he had just done his damned job. Becker bit his lip as he shifted and for the second time that day, gathered Connor up into his arms and carried him back to the bed.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Lester watched with concern as Connor stood up and fell to the floor, he could feel tears start to build in his eyes and he brushed them away. "Where are those damn doctors?” he growled, gently massaging Cutter’s arm as he looked at the door. Cutter looked over at Connor, “Connor?” He tried to sit up but winced at the effort that that took, he was so tired from fighting off the nurses, from refusing to eat that he didn’t have the energy to sit up, “Connor? Are you okay?” He looked over at Becker, “is he okay?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"He's alright Nick... I got him," Becker said his voice a little strained between the effort it took to carry Connor over to the bed and the desperate attempt to keep his emotions in check at that point. A moment later, Becker was laying Connor down on the bed next to Cutter and watching as he pulled himself as close as he could and clung to Cutter, burying his face against his boyfriend's shoulder and sobbed. "I... I... thought I... I didn't want.... oh Nick..." he cried unable to get the words to come out and so Connor just clung to him.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter started sobbing then as well when Connor cried into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry," he sobbed, "I tried to get to you, they kept me back ... I ... I couldn't move," he sobbed even harder, "I love you Connor, I thought ... I thought ..." he couldn't finish his sentence, he was crying too hard. A moment later the doctors came in, "finally," Lester growled and looked down at Cutter, "I'm just going to have a word with these doctors outside, Captain Becker can you stay with them while I talk?" he looked over at Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I love you Nick.... I... I... tried to get them... to stop..." Connor said as he clung to Cutter. "I... Im sorry I .... was too weak to stop them.... I love you... I love you Nick." Becker gave a nod as he shifted off the edge of the bed and pulled a chair over so he could be there beside them. "Give them what-for for me too Lester," he said with a grim nod as he watched Lester head for the door. And as Becker sat there watching the two in the bed clinging to each other, he finally couldn't keep them back, and there in the relative isolation of that room, the tears finally started to fall. And he didn't even bother trying to stop them or brush them away just then.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter just kept sobbing as he clung to Connor, afraid to let go, afraid that he would be taken away from him again ... the way Helen had taken Connor away from him in that cell. "I'm so sorry," he said again as he trembled against Connor, "you weren't weak Connor," he trembled, "I ... I was weak, it was my fault I was afraid ...if I hadn't been so afraid ... " he let out a loud sob, wincing at the pain he felt in his ribs then, "I ... I'm so sorry,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Neither of you have anything to be sorry about," Becker said, his own voice trembling slightly as he blinked away the tears and tried to be as reassuring as possible. "And neither of you are weak. You are the strongest men I have ever known. I've seen spec ops men roll over and give up from far less than what you have been through." Becker hesitated a moment before continuing. "Nick, Connor, I don't want to ever hear you calling yourselves weak again. Because I won't stand for falsehoods like that."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter blinked back tears, “but I …” he hesitated and somewhere he seemed to register that Becker was calling him by his actual name rather than his last name and he was focusing on that for a moment before he tried to put into words what how he was feeling, “but I … I freaked out over something small like eating,” he sobbed, “how is that not weak? If I … If I’d just eaten it to begin with …none of this would have happened,” he trembled.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester had spent several angry minutes going off at the doctors and the nurses who had been present and had ended up firing every single nurse working with them, he went back into the room with one of the doctors, just in time to hear both what Captain Backer and Nick was saying. "Captain Becker is right," he announced his return, "neither you or Connor are weak, Nick ... considering the circumstances, I think you're pretty damn tough to deal with what you were put through, it should never have happened," he looked at the doctor who was with him and then back to Nick, "from now on you're going to have either myself or Captain Becker with you at meal times, we will be not having a repeat of this, I've made sure of it," he glowered at the doctor, who looked awkward and tried not to meet his gaze, "you are many, many things Nick Cutter but you are not weak,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded and looked down at Connor and Cutter sadly. He slowly stood up so the doctor could come over to check them. But he didn't move too far away, standing near Lester as he watched. Connor shrunk away slightly but tried to stay calm as the doctor started talking to them. At some point though Connor got quiet and stopped answering the doctors question. But it was clear something was bothering him.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter was tired and just wanted to sleep but he was trying to answer the doctor's questions as best he could, he was mostly feel exhausted from how much energy he had used trying to fight off the nurses to stop him from feeding him, his ribs aching but the doctor assured him that that was normal. Then after a while Cutter noticed that Connor had gone extremely quiet. "Connor..." he asked softly, "Connor what's wrong?"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor didnt say anything at first. He was honestly afraid to. He just wanted to stay where he was, to sleep, to forget everything... but he was also just as afraid of what might happen if he didn't. Slowly he took a deep breath, and trembled as he spoke, his voice soft. The fear was evident in it as he slowly looked up at Becker and Lester, trying to avoid meeting the doctor'seyes as he did. "I.... I can't..." he closed his eyes "I can't feel my leg. And... and my arm feels tingly."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter's eyes widened and he reached out a tentative hand toward Connor, "it's ... is this normal?" he looked at the doctor, then at Becker and Lester, "we can fix this right?" The doctor was concerned and immediately stepped forward to run a closer examination on Connor, "is it just your leg and arm?" he asked, as he got his stethoscope to listen to Connor's heart.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor bit his lip, hating how much concern he was causing already. But he looked from Lester and Becker and then to Cutter and nodded. "J-just the leg and arm... I... noticed it when I tired to stand... Leg feels heavy...numb. That's why I fell." "And the arm?" the doctor asked, noting it seemed to be the arm on the same side as the leg that was giving him trouble. "Feels tingly... pins and needles? Like it fell asleep and the feelings starting to come back... just... really slowly." Connor looked around again at the concerned faces and dropped his head. "I'm sorry..." he whispered softly.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"You have nothing to apologise for Connor," Cutter said gently, looking over at the doctor, who was finishing his examination. "I will need to run more tests," the doctor looked concerned, "we need to rule out a heart attack," he said gently, "I want to take you for an ECG and do some blood tests, will that be okay?" he asked, looking over at Lester and then at Becker to start coordinating. Cutter leaned in as close to Connor as he could, not wanting to let Connor out of his sight but he couldn't help but start to feel panicked hearing the doctor mention all these different tests.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor listened and closed his eyes. He wanted to say no, he didn't want to go, he didn't want any tests, he just wanted to stay right where he was. But he also knew that wasn't an option. Slowly he took a deep breath and then nodded. "O-ok.. I... I don't want... to... to go alone though" he said softly, hating how weak he felt. It was bad enough thinking about leaving Cutter alone... but the thought of going through all these tests and everything... and what they might end up meaning... and doing that all alone.. that terrified him even more.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I want to go with Connor - " Cutter started to speak up but Lester spoke over him, "no, I'm sorry Nick but you're in no shape to be moving around right now, I will go with Connor," he said, looking over at Cutter and Connor. Then he looked at the doctor, "I want to make sure that this hospital actually knows how to do its damn job," he added with a growl.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor looked up at Lester and blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected Nick to be able to go... but he also had not expected Lester to volunteer. He nodded slowly that he was ok with that and he turned to Cutter. "I.... I'll be ok. Lester wont let anything happen" he said softly as he leaned against Cutter and closed his eyes. "I love you Nick. I- I'll be fine." "You will" Becker said softly. "And I will be here with Nick the entire time."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled as he leaned against Connor, terrified that he was never going to see him again, "I love you too Connor," he said softly, "I will always love you, it's ...you're going to be okay," he tried to sound assuring, "we're all going to be okay," and then he looked over at Becker and then at Lester before he nodded, "take care of him," "You have my word Nick," Lester promised and then nodded at the doctor so they could start making arrangements to have Connor taken for his tests.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker helped get Connor into the wheelchair when it was time giving his should a gentle squeeze. "Nick will be fine. I’m not leaving the room. We’ll see you in a bit ok?" Connor gave a small smile, it did help knowing Cutter would be ok. He swallowed hard trying to keep the nerves at bay and looked over at Lester and the doctor. "I... I’m ready..." he said simply.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Cutter tried to not look nervous as Becker helped Connor into the wheelchair, he really wished he could go with Connor to be there for support but he did reluctantly have to agree that it wouldn't be a good idea for him to be moving as well. "I'll see you when you get back," Cutter said softly. "Alright Connor," Lester said gently as he went over to the wheelchair so he could push it for Connor because he was not letting the doctor near him for that, "let's go and get these tests done shall we?" he said gently.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker watched as Lester wheeled Connor out, followed by the doctor who looked very much embarrassed after everything that had gone down and trailed after Lester like a scolded puppy. When the door was closed behind them Becker turned and looked Cutter and gave a reassuring smile as he put a hand on his shoulder. "Connor's going to be fine. They are just doing their due diligence and checking everything out. They'll figure out what to do to help him." They better or I think Lester might end up facing murder charges at this point....he thought to himself.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded, trying to feel comforted by that but he couldn’t help but feel worried, he bit his lip, “he was so scared,” he said softly, “and I couldn’t help him … I … I’m the cause of that … why they need to run tests,” he said before he could stop himself, “if I’d just eaten the food, he wouldn’t need to go for the tests,” he trembled.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker sighed softly, keeping his hand still on Cutter's shoulder. He knew that guilt and self-blame spiral. How many times had he fought that sinking trail of thought after this injury and the loss of his men? "I know it's not something you think you can believe right now" he said softly when he finally began to speak. "But it's not your fault, Nick. You are no more at fault than Connor is. You both were forced to do something you didn't want, and in a way that was very wrong and harmful. You have nothing to apologize for. The blame for all of this right... it's all on the nurse and staff." And myself mostly for not being here.... Becker thought to himself.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled and before he could stop himself a sob escaped, he closed his eyes for a bit and then he found himself blinking back tears, “I … it … it was just like what happened when …” his voice trailed off, “when she … “ he looked up at Becker, “that’s how she forced me to eat, they … they covered my mouth to make sure I ate it …I … it was like … “ he couldn’t blink back those tears, they started falling, “it was like I was back there …” He took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts, “does … does this ever go away?” he asked softly, suddenly unable to meet Becker’s gaze, he gazed down at his sheet.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Oh Nick," Becker said softly as he gently rub the spot on his shoulder where he knew was safe. He wanted nothing more than to tell him it would eventually be gone. That it would totally disappear. But he knew he couldn't. It would be a lie and a false hope that would just make it harder when the cold reality hit. There were reasons Becker still avoided certain things... like fireworks... as much as possible. "It gets better," Becker said softly. "The pain will... be there in some form. But it gets easier. It won't always be this raw, this intense, this constant." Becker watched Cutter closely. "I know you can do this Nick, you and Connor will get through this."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled as those tears rolled down his cheeks and he nodded, looking back up at Becker as he did, he tried to blink back those tears, “I feel so stupid … “ he said softly, “I … it was only food, I … she …” he tried to process his jumbled thoughts, “she did worse things to me there … “ he stared down at his bandaged, broken hands, “she … she made sure that I wouldn’t get through this, that I wouldn’t escape from her … I … I don’t know how I’m going to get through this … to be there for Connor …to be the leader that my team needs …to not let her win, I … “ His voice trailed off, “I’m scared that she’ll win … that she’s already won,” he sobbed.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker moved to sit on the edge of the bed and just sat there silently for a bit, letting Cutter cry. He knew the importance of dealing with the feelings and emotions rather than bottling them up. He had a feeling Cutter was a lot like he was..still was to an extent. "Helen hasn't won because you are still here. And so is Connor.you are still fighting for that future with Connor." Becker was quiet for a moment then continued. " One thing i had to learn was to be mindful of the little things, to set small goals, and celebrate the small victories. Some days that was getting through an entire therapy session. Some days that was being able keep three meals down. And some days that victory was just getting out of bed." Becker gave Cutter a small smile. "I know you can do this, Nick. You and Connor both. The team is here for you and I know you will beat this with their help!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter sat there crying silently for a while, letting the tears fall. He sat the there for a few moments as he tried to process what Becker was saying, he trembled and then nodded, “so-sorry,” he hiccuped, “I’m …I …I just feel so helpless, I couldn’t even be there for Connor when he needed me…he keeps getting hurt because of me,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Nothing to be sorry or beat yourself up over" Becker said gently, putting an arm around Cutter, loose enough that he could pull away if he wanted. "It's easy to do, lord do I know... but it doesn't do any good. Beating yourself up like this doesn't help you, doesn't help the team, doesn't help Connor." Becker considered that last bit and shook his head, and gave a sad smile to Cutter. "Connor isn't getting hurt because of you. He's getting hurt because of people being evil, and cruel, and stupid. Saying it is your fault simply because he is with you, dating you and all... that's no different than saying Connor got hurt because he stepped outside his flat. Any choice he makes could lead to something happening; that's life. He'd have to be in a bubble for nothing to happen to him ever. And I think you know that's not what Connor would want.. and that he has gladly chosen to be with you."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter hesitated a moment and then leaned against Becker as he kept sobbing. He closed his eyes, “it’s not just Connor - people keeping getting hurt or worse because of me - Claudia - Stephen …Abby nearly died because I didn’t tell anyone that I changed the plans in one of our missions…James should never have rehired me,” It was like once he started, he couldn’t stop and all that guilt that he had been carrying for the last year came pouring out before he could stop it.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker sat there on the bed, gently rubbing Cutter's back as he let him cry. There were things he could say. But if there was one thing Becker had learned in the last few years was there was a time to talk and a time to just be... and right now, he figured what Cutter needed was just the chance to be... be broke, be sad, be angry, be whatever he needed. There was no good that could come from bottling everything up. Now, if only he could finally learn to take that advice for himself.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter just sat there sobbing against Becker, as everything caught up to him from the last couple of weeks, not just from this morning. It was like he couldn’t stop now that he started. He just sat there, words failing him as he kept crying, it felt like he was never going to stop and then after several minutes of crying, he managed to stop and he sniffed and hiccuped and looked up at Becker, “I’m sorry about your shirt,” he said quietly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	That earned a small soft smile as Becker gave Cutter's shoulders a gentle squeeze, not letting go till Cutter seemed ready. "My shirts have seen worse... far, far worse," he said. "Don't worry about it." Becker shifted slightly and grabbed the water bottle from the tray table. He also grabbed and unwrapped one of the straws there and dropped it into the bottle then handed it to Cutter with a nod. "Try and drink a little. It'll help" he said encouragingly.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded as he took the bottle of water, trembling and he took slow sips of water as his breathing got under control. “Thank you,” he said quietly when he felt a lot calmer and more in control of his emotions, “for listening, it …thank you,” he didn’t know what else to say so he just stared at his drink and continued to sip out of the straw..
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Any time, Nick," Becker said with a soft smile. "Now you finish that up and let's get you comfortable and we'll wait for Connor and Lester to come back with good news report." Becker really hoped he sounded more confident than he felt, because he was really hoping it would be good news. He didn't know how much more the team, and especially Nick and Connor, could take right now.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of the hospital, Connor sat in the wheelchair again, waiting with Lester. They had just finished all the tests and they were just waiting for the results now. And while he was relieved to be done with the poking and prodding and everything... the waiting was starting to get to Connor. He closed his eyes and took a slow deep breath, trembling a little as he did.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester watched Connor waiting with concern and after a moments hesitation reached out and placed a hand gently on Connor's shoulder, "I've made sure your results are a priority," he told Connor gently, "I know it doesn't seem like it but we won't be waiting long, hopefully just a little bit longer ...even though if the hospital manages to screw this up, I'm going to be having words with the health minister,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	That actually earned a small smile from Connor, picturing one of Lester's terrifying meltdowns directed at the health minister. "Thanks, I... I appreciate that. And... this. I-I don't want to think about how hard waiting alone would be."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, noting that small smile from Connor, which after the events of the last hour was a welcome sight to see, "you're welcome, I wasn't going to let you sit here alone ... none of this should have ever happened Connor, I'm ... I'm sorry that you had to go through that, that you and Nick both had to ... that wasn't right and I'm going to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again," he added, "I've cleared my schedule for the next two days and I'm going to make sure that you are looked after properly,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded slowly as he stared down at his hands, one still wrapped heavily and the other feeling like pins and needles still. He sighed and shook his head slightly. "My fault I'm sitting here right now. If... if I hadn't panicked.... If... if I had just done what they wanted... not struggled and fought... I.. I did this to myself and..." Connor's voice trailed off as that lump started to form in his throat again and he took a deep breath to try and push it down again.
Lester(thearcfamily)	"This was not your fault, it was not Nick's fault," Lester said in as gentle but firm voice that he could manage, "it was the nurses and staff for not taking into account your treatment plan, for ignoring the warning signs, you were both having panic attacks and they pushed through ..." He sighed, "and it was mine, for not being there like I promised and I know no amount of apologies will make up for that Connor but I'm going to make sure that this never happens again, I give you my word,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Wasn't your fault Lester... You... I don't blame you or anything," Connor said softly. "I just.... I haven't been that scared... other than with... with... Helen..." he said his voice dropping to barely a whisper as he said her name. "I don't know why but... all I saw, all I heard, was her... and I couldn't do anything to help Nick and..." Connor choked a little as the last of the words came out "I... don't want to be this weak... this useless... this helpless."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“You’re not weak or helpless Connor,” Lester said gently, “you’ve been through an ordeal that should never have happened to you, what that woman did … it was unforgivable,” he closed his eyes, “I … I’m no psychologist but I used to be in special ops myself, I know about the tactics that people like her employ, it’s …the fact you and Nick are even still with us, is testament to how strong you both are Connor,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"And what... if... if I can't get better after all this? If... if I can't help the team... if I can't help Nick... wh-what good am I, if... I don't know how to keep doing this. I..." Connor bit his lip and trembled slightly. "I... I'm scared, Lester," he whispered.
Lester(thearcfamily)	It took Lester a few moments to form the right words, he was not the person best suited for this … he was used to inflicting pain, not helping others cope with their pain, he stood up from his chair and turned so that he could kneel in front of Connor, trying to meet his gaze, “I can’t promise you that this will go away,” he finally said, “it’s … what you’ve gone through … some days you will want to give up but I know how stubborn you are Connor … you won’t give up that easily, you’ll fight … you’ll fight to be with Nick … I’ve seen how good you are for him, I don’t even recognise the same man who first signed the Official Secrets Act two years ago, you’ve changed him for the better and as far as the team is concerned, you will always have a place on this team Connor,” he said softly. He wasn't sure what possessed him to do this but he suddenly leaned in to give Connor a hug.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor slowly lifted his eyes and looked at Lester as he spoke, trying to let the words sink in. he had never heard Lester talk like this before. He had never seen him care or seem so concerned about anyone as he had these last few days. And that surprise was multiplied tenfold when he suddenly felt Lester pull him into a hug. For a moment, Connor didn't know how to react, but then he slowly lifted his arms as he returned the hug, somewhat awkwardly considering the state of his hands and arms at that moment. "Th-thank you, Lester" he said simply. There was more he wanted to say of course, and more he knew he should say. The man had done everything he could for them... still was doing everything he could. He deserved more 'thank yous' than Connor knew he could ever give. He just hoped, somehow, Lester understood. When he finally pulled back, dropping his gaze awkwardly, he glanced up at Lester with an apologetic nod. "Sorry... about the suit," he said. It was looking a little wrinkled and worse for wear and Connor was pretty sure tear stains were not that ideal for that fancy fabric either.
Lester(thearcfamily)	"You're welcome," Lester understood, that sometimes you couldn't have words for something like this, as he pulled apart from the hug, blinking back tears of his own as he stared down at his tear stained jacket, “I’ll allow it this once,” Lester said, managing a small smile of his own before he looked back at Connor, “I can’t promise that you’re going to be okay Connor but I know you’ll get through this, the team is behind both you and Nick … we’re going to support you and help you, you won’t have to be alone, okay?”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded as he wiped away the tears and gave Lester a small smile. Just then, the doctor finally emerged and walked over to them, clipboard in hand. "Sir, I have Mr. Temple's results. I would like to go over them with you both." Connor nodded and, without thinking, reached out and grabbed hold of Lester's hand as the doctor started going over all the results.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Meanwhile Cutter had started to calm down from the panic and anxiety of earlier, he was still scared of what results Connor could get and it was taking all of his will power to not just stand up and start pacing the room. Aside from the fact he knew that would be a really bad idea and he didn't have the energy to try and stand. He was feeling restless and he took another sip of his water, "they've been gone a long time," he said quietly to Becker, "I hope everything's alright," He wasn't sure he could handle even more bad news right then.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I'm sure they are fine," Becker said with a reassuring smile. "They had a few tests to run and some of them can take a bit to run and get results from. I am sure we will hear something soon." Lord he hoped it was good news. It had to be, they really needed something positive to focus on right now.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	A few minutes later the door opened, and Lester and Connor came in. Immediately Connor's eyes met Cutter's and then Beckers, and he smiled. "It's alright, Nick" he said, seeing the concerned look on his boyfriend's face. "I- I'm going to be alright," he said with a grin.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter's eyes lit up then and for the first time that day he smiled, "everything came back clear? Oh thank god," and then he decided to try and make a beeline for Connor, he had missed Connor so much and wanted to be with him, only he didn't factor that standing up would cause him to be in more pain and as soon as his feet made contact with the ground, he instantly regretted it but he had to try and get to Connor.
Lester(thearcfamily)	"Oh no you don't," Lester was suddenly at Cutter's side to put him back to bed, "we do not need to take you in for tests now, back to bed now," Cutter looked reluctant but the pain was really starting to get to him, 'I want to be with Connor," he said softly. "You will be, soon," Lester promised.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker had made his way over to Connor, giving him a smile and a gentle squeeze of his shoulder at the good news. "How about we get ya out of that thing and back where you belong?" he asked with a smile and a nod towards Cutter.... it felt good to actually be able to smile... and started helping Connor up out of the wheelchair. "You'll have to give us the details," Becker said as he put his arm around Connor and got him up, not letting him out any weight on the leg, despite the apparent all-clear from the doctors.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	As soon as Connor was in the bed again, he turned to face Cutter and put his arms around him, pulling him into a long hug. "Told you I would be back," he said with a smile as he buried his head into Cutter's shoulder.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter gratefully returned the hug, not wanting to let go now that Connor was back and they were together again and it was nice to be back in his arms again, "I missed you so much," he clung as tight as he could to Connor, "I'm ... I'm sorry," he said again, he couldn't help it, the guilt he felt for Connor being in that situation to begin with, "I'm so sorry,"
Lester(thearcfamily)	"Now Nick neither you or Connor share the blame of what happened here," Lester said gently as he watched Nick and Connor, "it was a situation that you both should never have been in and Captain Becker and myself will make sure that it doesn't happen again," he nodded, he looked over at Connor, "did you want to share your results Connor or did you want me to?"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor pulled away from Cutter reluctantly but there was a smile on his face as he sat back on the bed and looked around at everyone who had helped him through this ordeal. "Doc said the heart is fine, no issues there. The... the leg and arm, it's most likely a pinched nerve, from the struggling and the... the head butting," Connor said somewhat sheepishly cuz that really had been a stupid move on his part. "But basically a pinched nerve?" he said looking over at Lester to make sure he remembered that right. "Should clear up on this own fairly quickly. There are even things they can do in physio to help get it back in line... and help strengthen my back and neck so.. so it doesn't happen again hopefully."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Lester nodded at Connor's glance, "the doctor said it was a pinched nerve, but the doctor wasn't too concerned about their being additional complications and as Connor said, it can be fixed with physio sessions, there will be no lasting damage from the pinched nerve," he assured them. Cutter was relieved to hear that, "it won't happen again," he said confidently, leaning in as close as he could to Connor, not wanting him out of his sight, "I'm so relieved that it wasn't anything too serious, I was so worried,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Makes two of us, honestly" Connor admitted as he shifted and laid back in the bed, getting as comfortable as he could and as close to Cutter as possible. He had no intention of going anywhere or of letting go of Cutter any time soon, even as the exhaustion started to take hold at last. "Love you Nick...." he whispered softly and then turned to look over at the other two men in the room. "Becker... Lester... thank you, for everything," he said with a sincere yet very sleepy smile as he finally let himself start to relax.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I love you too Connor, so much," Cutter started to relax and lean in as close as possible to Connor, refusing to let him out of his sight and then as he got comfortable in bed, he found himself beginning to drift off and soon it wasn't long before he was asleep.
Lester(thearcfamily)	"You're welcome," Lester told Connor as he watched both Nick and Connor begin to fall asleep, he stood there for a while watching them, blinking back tears that he tried to discretely wipe away.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker also stood silent for a while watching the two finally drift off into a restful sleep for once. He felt endless waves of emotions washing over him as he stood there, relief that no serious damage had been done, a touch of joy that the two had finally gotten something positive to focus on, but the one thing that pushed through it all and dominated his mind right then as he blinked back tears that blurred his vision was guilt. Shaking his head and pulling his shoulders back Becker quickly wiped away the tears and tried to compose himself. A moment later he turned and headed towards the door, passing Lester on the way. "I am going to go man my post," he said with a slight nod. "When you have a moment Sir, I would like a moment of your time."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Nick and Connor had been asleep for a while now, Lester had stayed in the room, watching them from the couch because he didn’t want to leave them alone with the hospital staff right then, Captain Becker had also asked to see him later so he was staying around for when he was back from his patrol.. So Lester sat and waited, trying to not think about how much worse everything could have turned out, if only he hadn’t been held up in his meeting - he would have been there for Nick and Connor, he could have stopped it from happening.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Eventually, Becker returned form his patrol. He opened the door slowly, poking his head in and glancing towards the bed to make sure Connor and Cutter were still asleep, and then walked in. He stopped in front of Lester and gave a small nod. "All stations report no issues or concerns and everything is secure. The new shift has come on and are set at their stations and are aware of their instructions for the evening."
Lester(thearcfamily)	"Good, that's good thank you Captain," Lester looked up at him with a nod, pleased that for once that things seemed to be going smoothly, he hoped that there weren't going to be any more incidents like the one from earlier, he paused, "you wished to talk to me?"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Ah yes Sir," Becker said with a nod as he straightened himself up even more at attention and looked at Lester. "I wanted to apologize for not being at my post when everything happened. I should have sent my men to investigate the commotion and not left my post here, unattended. It was a severe lapse in judgment and it wont happen again, because...." Here Becker faltered ever so slightly before catching himself and continuing. "Because I am asking to turn in my official resignation from this post, Sir."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Whatever Lester had been expected, it wasn’t that and he looked up at Captain Becker in surprise, “It won’t happen again but not because of your resignation, you’re a good man Captain Becker and you’ve bonded really well with Nick and Connor … you’re presence here is just as important to their recovery and I must refuse your resignation,” he told him, “you were following a possible security breach, you hadn’t abandoned your post,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	And now it was Becker's time to look surprised at that response. "Sir, but it was my failure to perform the one task you had assigned me. Protect Nick Cutter and Connor Temple at all costs. Everything else is superphones if I can't succeed in that one task, is it not?" Spoken like someone who still saw his own self-worth through the eyes of a solider.
Lester(thearcfamily)	“You did protect Nick Cutter and Connor Temple,” Lester pointed out, “you protected them from the possibility of being attacked by Helen, you recognised a potential security threat and you investigated it, you did your job Captain and you will continue to do your job, I won’t let you resign your post and since I handle matters of employment when it comes to this team …I do believe that means you're still employed Captain,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker opened his mouth to say something, saw the look on Lester's face, and closed his mouth. After a moment, not knowing what to say in argument of that, he simply nodded. "Y-Yes Sir. I' await your next set of orders" he said.
Lester(thearcfamily)	It was Lester's turn to open his mouth and then he closed it as he studied Captain Becker, he knew the man’s file … his file was impressive, that was why he and his men had been hired, “my next order is for you to sit down, Captain … sit down on the couch here with me,” he moved over to give Captain Becker room.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker blinked a moment because that was definitely not the order he had expected. "Aye Sir..." He gave a small, almost imperceptible nod and then went to sit down on the couch.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester watched as Becker joined him on the couch, he could tell that this wasn’t how he had expected the conversation to go and honestly Lester wasn’t sure what he expected either but seeing Becker try to resign from his perceived failure had him thinking, “tell me Captain,” he began, “when I first hired you, why did you accept the job?”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Because it was a unique offer and opportunity," Becker said simply and then continued after a moment. "And in a way... it was a chance to get as close to being out in the field that is an option for me now." Becker looked at Lester, figuring he already knew what the answer to the question was but he asked it anyway. "I assume you have a file on me as with everyone on the team… So you... you know why normal fieldwork is not possible."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“I have seen your file,” Lester nodded, “it’s very impressive, what you’ve achieved and I’m not just talking about your professional achievements,” he said softly, looking briefly at Becker’s leg before looking back up at him, “I used to be in special ops myself actually, I joined the military straight out of school … it was a bit of a family legacy if you will, something that was expected of me but it was my first choice of career and I wanted to serve and serve I did, did the training, worked my way up and got recruited to special ops,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker just stared for a moment at that revelation. James Lester was many things but Becker had never pegged him for that. Government work was obviously a gift of sorts for him. Even military would have been a safe assumption. But Special Ops was likely not something that he would have ever thought was Lester's preferred career. "Special Ops? Really...So we, we have a similar background in that at least. It was shortly after graduation I started through basic and everything too."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, “our backgrounds are more similar than you think … my work may have involved more behind the scenes, planning, strategies, gathering intelligence reports,” he explained, “once I was recruited to special ops, I didn’t tend to go out in the field as much, it was very similar to my role with the ARC right now,” He stopped, as memories of an earlier time flooded him, some were memories that he wanted to forget, that he wasn’t ready to share just yet but he knew there was one that he could, “my very last mission, I was meeting with an asset, it was a promising lead and they had access to information that would have been a treasure trove if we could covet them …” he paused, “it was a trap, the mission went sideways and I got shot, ended my military career, made me reconsider quite a few things,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker listened, more than a little surprised to learn this much about his new boss, especially that last bit. He considered that, as he subconsciously started rubbing his leg as he tended to do when he was lost in thought, specially thoughts and memories about that time in his life. "It's funny, isn't it.... how something like that forces you to think about things... reconsider things you never even thought twice about before," Becker said simply. "They warn you about the risk... it's always kinda there in the back of your mind. But... at least in my case... you learn to ignore it. At least... until you can't ignore it any longer."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“It definitely does,” Lester said softly, “it … once I stopped seeing action out on the field, I thought that the risks would be less, I didn’t .. I got complacent, he looked at Becker, “I thought that mission would be routine, like all the other ones, it never crossed my mind that it could be a trap, looking back all the warning signs were there and I was too eager to get them on board, that one act of complacency … cost me everything,” he looked over at Nick and Connor asleep in their bed, “I vowed then that I wouldn’t repeat that same mistake I made …and here we are several years later, I got complacent …I underestimated Helen and Leek and two of my men paid the price for it,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"In your defense, Sir," Becker said slowly, carefully, that solider side of his brain and programming telling him not to contradict who was essentially his commanding officer. "I think from what I have been told, no one has been quite ready for Helen or expectant on just how much she is capable of. I... I know she's definitely the most extreme case I've encountered." Becker's gaze followed Lester's over to the bed, as he too watched Cutter and Connor sleep for a moment. "And speaking of extreme cases... those two are something else. To have endured everything they did, everything that's happened so far... I don't know them beyond this unorthodox setting. But I still find it hard to believe they even survived in the first place. And with no special training? I've seen men on the field stay down from far less than this. Nick is older, I could see him maybe having seen some things over the years.... but Connor? I mean, I know he's no kid but still, compared to the rest of the team..." Becker shook his head in continued disbelief at what all he had seen them both come through in such a short time.
Lester(thearcfamily)	“You don’t know the half of it,” Lester sighed, “that woman is a psychopath and …I knew what she was the moment I saw her, I …” he looked at Becker, hesitating, “I had the chance to stop her, when we brought her back from the anomaly she was hiding in …if I’d stopped her then …” he paused as he thought of all ‘what ifs’ threatened to overwhelm him. He considered the rest of what Becker was saying, “Connor was a university student when this all started, he had no place getting involved in all of this…” he closed his eyes, he could feel tears in them, “I should have made this a complete military operation from the beginning, I don’t know what I was thinking, hiring a group of a civilians,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Oh that hindsight could be brutal, Becker knew that all too well. "Trust me, I wish I could forget all the times I ended up not doing enough, or didn't do something I thought I should, just to have it blow up in my face later on. It's the curse of being the one in command, of being in charge. Everything is assumed... to be your call and under your control. And maybe some of it is... " Becker sighed softly. "But some of it isn't we just feel like it is because there is no one else there to take the fall and to try and fix it." Becker looked back to Connor and shook his head. "I don't wish any ill to the boy, otherwise I'd almost be tempted to say he would have made a fine soldier if he had ever enlisted if he's got this much spunk on his own." He turned back to Lester as he thought for a moment before continuing. "It's been my experience though that at times it's the civilians, the ones not clouded by politics and not jaded by years in the field, who are the most valuable assets we have. While I trust my men with my life, some of the best people I worked with in Spec Ops were the civilians- the translators, the guides, the transporters. They make the difference, it's just tragic when they get caught up in everything else. But..." here a small faint smile could be seen, "I think you would have been hard-pressed to keep Connor and Nick away even if you did have a 'only military personnel' stand.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester did offer a small smile at that, blinking back those stubborn tears, “oh I think I would have had to have Nick and Connor locked up to stop them from going in the field, they’re brilliant men …the ARC is lucky to have them,” he said softly, “they’re not going to like the process to get them cleared to return to the field though, I …I …it’s going to be a long road for them, physically and emotionally,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded, a sober look in his eyes as he looked back over at the two in the bed. He thought about what he already knew of them and what he knew about the recovery they were going to have to face. It had taken him a long time to get to the point where he could even try to re-enlist... then to have that dream snatched away for good. It was the hardest thing he had ever... had still had... to deal with. "I think we both know one of the hardest things to recover from is the loss of a dream or a passion. Dealing with the physical fallout is one thing, dealing with the emotional, the mental... that can be the hardest of all." It definitely was for Becker and if he had to hazard a guess it had probably been similar for Lester. "They are in for a rough road. Made worse by the uncertainty of if all. But I know one thing for sure, as long as there is fight left in them, Connor and Nick will have the team behind them every step of the way. Myself included, if you are certain about declining the resignation request."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“Oh I am very certain about declining that resignation request Captain,” Lester told him with a small smile, “Nick and Connor will need you , you have been really good for them Captain and I want you to keep working with them as much as possible with their recovery,” he paused, “it might not be a bad idea to have them return to Fandom for a while before they’re cleared to return to the field,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded, leaving the talk of the resignation be. "Would probably help them with the adjustment. Something familiar and calmer, a stepping stone in a way. I am sure we could set something up without much trouble." Becker glanced over at the bed and lowered his voice just to make sure they didn't hear. "Do we have any idea yet on how long we are looking at their stay here taking and what the timeline in general is looking like?"
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, “we would have to make it clear that they’re welcome to return at any time, that having some time away from all of this would be in their best interest and it’s not a punishment,” he said softly. Then he paused, “The doctors think it will be at least another week,” he said, lowering his voice to match Becker’s, “they’re worried about Nick’s progress, especially with his hands … I’m trying to have it so Connor and Nick can leave together but they seem to want to keep Nick another week, I already know neither of them will go for that, so I’m trying to make alternative arrangements,” he sighed, “they’ll have to do their physio sessions for a while longer, even when they’re not at the hospital and I want them to start seeing a counsellor, which I know Nick won’t like but I think it’s something they both will have to do,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded, silent and in thought for a moment before he turned back to face Lester. "I'll make sure to try and keep their focus on that in a positive light, frame it all as a sign of their progress, and their ability to start doing things on their own. I... have a feeling it will be a challenge at times knowing the two of them," Becker said with a small smile. "But I will do my best, Sir." "If it helps with the logistics and set up, I can work with them with the physio and check-ins... Whatever would help them, and you and the team, the most."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, “that would be greatly appreciated, thank you Captain,” he said, looking over to Cutter and Connor where they were sleeping in the bed, “they’ll have to have physio every day and I want to make arrangements for for regular counselling sessions as well, before they return to Fandom,” he paused, “if you were to help them attend their appointments, it might make them more likely to go … I can’t promise that you’ll have an easy time getting them to go to appointments but any help you could give with this, would help Captain,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"If you would allow me to do so Sir" Becker said with a small nod. "I will do everything I can to help them. I know they can be a handful" bit of an understatement of the year there Becker. "But I am here for the challenge. I..." his voice went a little soft as he stared at his hands for a moment. "I... want to help them through this. I know they can do this. They can.. and I... I want to be here to help, I just don't want to fail them again..."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“I think ‘handful’ is an understatement,” Lester remarked softly, agreeing with the narrative there, “and I can assure you that you haven’t failed Nick and Connor, your bond with them … I’ve never seen anyone bond that quickly, let alone Nick …they’re in awe of you Captain and they respect you and even though there will be many more bad days for them down the road, having you there with them, will make all the difference and I know Nick and Connor will appreciate you being there for them as well,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little surprised as well. It's... been a while since... since there's been a connection like this... not since, my old team really..." Becker gave a small nod as he looked at Lester. "I do appreciate you, ya know, declining the resignation," he said with a faint barely discernible grin. "They are special men... that much is obvious."
Lester(thearcfamily)	“They are … as tiring as they can be at times, they are very special men and it means a lot to have you on board Captain, helping with this,” Lester smiled softly at that, he nodded, “Nick and Connor are lucky to have you, if I had accepted your resignation it would have been counter productive to their recovery, I think it’s safe to say you’re well and truly a part of this team now,” and Lester's smile widened at that as he nodded at Becker.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I consider it an honor Sir." And a genuine smile spread over Becker's face at that, "and a privilege," he added. "I will start coordinating with the physio team and come up with a plan for their therapy and sessions when the time comes for them to be released. If I can start talking to Connor and Nick about it and build up to it, they might be more receptive to the idea." Becker went silent for a moment and then slowly turned to look over at Nick and Connor. "I... I think they are going to be as good for me... in a way... as I hope I can be for them."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded at that, “then that would be most helpful Captain, thank you,” he said, “anything that can help make this easier for Nick and Connor, working with them to be more receptive of the sessions would be a good idea,” and he smiled softly at the last part, “you’re a good man Captain Becker, Nick and Connor are extremely lucky to have you and I think you will all be good for each other, based on what I’ve seen this past week alone,” he said, pausing for a moment before adding, “thank you, for being there for them,”
Becker(thearcfamily)	"And thank you, Sir... for giving this shell of a man a purpose," Becker said with a small nod. And damnit, that pressure in his chest was building again... probably from sitting for too long. Standing to his feet, Becker turned to face Lester and gave a small nod. "I... should get back to my post so you can head back if you need. I'll be in touch with the usual report and let you know of anything changes."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester nodded, “very well Captain,” he said looking back at Nick and Connor before looking back, “thank you, Jenny will be coming in shortly to cover the next shift … so she’ll coordinate with you for anything Nick and Connor need,” he softened slightly, “and you have both my personal and work number if anything comes up in the meantime, even if it seems insignificant, I want to know about it,” he added.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Of course Lester... Sir" Becker said, correcting himself with a small nod. "And thank you again." Was that a thanks for the job, the impromptu talk, the refusal of the resignation, or something else? Becker wasn't even sure himself as he turned and headed out the door. And there were not tears in his eyes. It was cleary that dang dust getting to him again!