MHA #13 - Monday Lunchtime

[itsananomaly]

Cutter didn’t know how to deal with what had happened over the weekend at all. He had spent so much of the weekend talking and trying to process everything with Stephen and Ryan and even though it had been nice to talk to them and see them again, it had also been a lot to deal with emotionally as well.

He hadn’t felt like being alone in his flat and he wanted to see how Connor was doing so he had decided to get some Chinese food, getting the dishes he knew that Connor was fond of and made his way across the hall to Connor’s flat and knocked.

[for Connor, whose flat is modded with permission!]

Comments

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor sat down on the couch a sighed softly. "Well, they'll keep in the freezer so plenty of time to eat them when you feel up to it." Connor gave a small smile and nodded silently towards the couch inviting Cutter to join him.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter followed him, placing the bag of food on the table as he sat down.

“It …it still feels weird to think they’re gone,” he said softly, “I …I miss them,”

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor nodded, his eyes going blurry as he blinked back the tears and stared down at the photos sitting on the coffee able in front of him. He had just printed them out that morning and had been through them- several selfies of him and Tom, some of Cutter and Ryan, and plenty of Stephen and the three of them together. "I... I miss them... a lot..." he whispered as he picked up one of the photos of Tom playing the video games, Rex on his shoulder.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter could only nod as he looked in the direction of the photos, he felt tears of his own begin to fall and he tried to discreetly wipe them away, "it ... I never thought something like this would be possible," his shoulders slumped, "I ... wish they could have stayed longer,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor quietly put a hand on Cutter's leg as they sat there. "It would have been nice... to have more time with them" Connor said as he finally put the picture down and sighed. "But I think... the longer they would be here... the harder it would have gotten to say goodbye when they eventually had to leave all the same."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter gave a sad smile at that, "I guess it would have been," he agreed, "I ... it was nice to get some closure after these last couple of years but I never thought saying goodbye again would have hurt like this,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"I know... I-I'm jsut glad that they are still here" Connor said softly as he reached over and picked up one of the photos and looked at it then handed it over to Cutter with a small smile. It was one of them with Stephen. "I wasn't sure how this worked. If... if the pictures would stay... once they were gone. I'm glad they did."

[itsananomaly]

"I'm glad to," Cutter agreed quietly as he stared at the photo Connor had handed to him, "I ... it was hard but it felt good being able to talk to Stephen about what happened, being able to reconnect with him and ... it helped talking to Ryan, he gave me quite a few things to talk about," he admitted.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"I'm glad it helped," Connor said softly. "It, it was good to see them. Think about what all has happened and.... what could still happen. It hurts... them being gone now again... but I'm glad that they were able to come. I'm glad for the extra time we did have with them."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter stared sadly at the photo of them with Stephen, "I still don't know how I'm going to explain everything at my next therapy session," he said softly, "or telling the team, I have a feeling they're not going to believe us even with all these photos,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Eh of they believe us they believe us and if not, we know what happened," Connor said as he picked up a picture of Stephen and Rex and smiled sadly. "I know it was real. That's what matters to me."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded at that, as he stared at the photo Connor had picked up, "do you think we're ever going to see them again?" he wasn't sure how he felt about that but it would be nice to know that the visit wasn't just a one off.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"I... I think they could. If the island was able to bring them back once... I think it could do it again." Connor was hopefully at least though he was really trying to be realistic about it and not get his hopes up too much. But the pain of saying goodbye was still too fresh and he was clinging to that hope like a lifeline right then.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter gave a sad smile at that, "I ... I would like to see them again," he said softly, "maybe the island will let them visit like they did this time, I ... maybe not every year but in a couple of years or something like that?" he considered. "That ... that wouldn't be too much if it was like that,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Not too much at all... would be really nice in fact" Connor reached over and slipped an arm around Cutter and pulled him close, and leaned over, resting his head against his shoulder. "Guess all we can do is wait and see... and remember what we were given this time" he said softly.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter smiled softly as he leaned against Connor, "I guess that's all we can do," he said, "but I'm glad we do have the memories and it was something we both got to share,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Aye, would have hated it if you or I didn't get to experience this and the other did. And I am glad the photos are still here, as are the memories." Connor smiled softly and closed his eyes as he sat there leaning against Cutter just enjoying the company.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter gave a small smile and leaned in close to Connor, taking a moment to reflect on the weekend and the memories that he had made that he would always treasure.

"it hurt to say goodbye but I'm glad we go to have this chance," she said softly.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor nodded and smiled softly. "It... it really made me stop and think... about what I have right here... what's important."

[itsananomaly]

"Same here, it's also helped me think about ...about the future," Cutter said softly, he hesitated slightly, "I ... when I was talking to Ryan ... um ... we were talking about my future with the ARC and I've ... well I've been thinking about and I didn't want to make any choices before I talked to you about it,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor nodded slowly. He had been thinking about that a lot too, he knew this conversation was going to happen eventually. "I've been thinking a lot too, especially after talking with Stephen and all the other day."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter took a deep breath, "I ... Ryan made me realise that ... that I ...I don't want ...I don't want to leave the ARC," he said softly, "I ... I want to talk to James about getting cleared to return to field work," he looked up at Connor, nervously waiting to see what he thought.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor smiled at that. He had been expecting as much but it was good to finally be talking about it.

"I feel the same really" he said slowly. "I.. I want to still help the team. Tom helped remind me... of why I started doing this in the first place. It was to help others... to make a difference. And I... I think I still can do that.I think we both can."

[itsananomaly]

Cutter smiled warmly at hearing that, "I'm glad that you feel like that, I ... I don't know if I want to lead the team again but I, I want to go back and help the team, I ... I miss doing what we did with the ARC, working with the team, I think I'm ready to go back," he said softly.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"There are other ways to help and be involved. You know more bout the anomalies than anyone, and most of your ideas and theories turned out to be at least mostly true," Connor said with a nod. "Im sure Lester wouldn't mind tweaking things and figuring out a new team dynamic. I....I just hope there's still a spot for me on the team. Always kind of just been backup and logistics. I'd be a lot easier to replace..." Connor dropped his gaze to his hands for a moment, the biggest self-doubt he had about his future with the team finally coming out.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter reached out to place a hand on Connor's knee, "there's always going to be a spot on the team for you Connor," he said gently, "you're a valuable member of the team,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor nodded slowly and gave a small smile at the hand on his knee. "I guess... we need to get in touch with Lester... find a time to meet with him and talk about all this huh?"

[itsananomaly]

Cutter nodded, "I guess we should do that, ... I ... probably sooner rather than later, I ... I know we have to do a physical and psychological assessment to be cleared to return that will probably take a while," he said softly, "maybe I can give James a call tomorrow after class? See about going home and starting the process to get cleared?"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Yeah it will be a process. But getting started sooner rather than later will be good" Connor gave a small smile to Cutter. "Let me know if you need anything from me or want me to talk to Lester with you when you do" he said, wanting to help and support Cutter as much as he could through all of this.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter gave a small smile, "I would like that," he said softly, "I ... I'm a bit nervous about this, if you ... if you wouldn't mind being there when I talk to James, I ... I would really like that a lot thank you,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Of course Nick," Connor said with a nod. "We can maybe have a video call and talk to him and figure out what our next steps need to be?" Connor wanted to get back to the team, back out in the field, but he was still a little nervous about it as well.

[itsananomaly]

"A video call would be best I think," Cutter nodded, "I ... I know James and Becker talked a little about what was involved in getting cleared to return to duty but I ... I'm still ... it's a little overwhelming after all these months," he admitted.

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"It'll be a process for sure... and it will be a bit of work. But I-I think it will be good for us. Get back out there, be with the team... It might not ever be just as it was before, but I just want to be with the team again, working on tech, seeing cool creatures..." Connor gave a fond smile.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter gave a small smile at that, “I want to be with the team again too,” he said softly, “I miss being with them and I …I think this is the right step moving forward, joining the team and getting back to the ARC,”

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Dr. Jones has been saying that a big part of recovery is finding that new balance and still doing what you love while admitting what has changed and what cant be the same anymore" Connor gave a small smile. "I... I think, for me at least, getting back to the ARC and finding my place with the new team dynamics is what I need."

[itsananomaly]

“Dr. Taylor says something similar, he says that focusing on what I can control is important and I’m the one who can control my future,” Cutter said softly, “ I don’t want to be afraid of the future anymore,”

[anomaly_research_nerd]

Connor nodded and then shifted on the couch a little and leaned over to grab the food off the coffee table. "Well, I think for the immediate future, we need some food" he said as his stomach growled loudly now that he was finally claimed down enough to think about anything other than the weekend.

[itsananomaly]

Cutter smiled at that, "food definitely sounds like a good plan for the immediate future," he agreed as he grabbed some of the dishes, "I made sure to get the dishes that you liked as well, so there'll be enough for leftovers,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"And that is why you rock" Connor said with a grateful nod as he handed one of Cutter's containers over to him and grabbed one of his own. There was a lot to figure out and a lot to make important decisions about, but right now, this just felt right, lunch and taking with Cutter... like old times.

[itsananomaly]

"I do sometimes have my moments," Cutter grinned as he took the container, relaxing slightly as he began to have his wonton soup, "but this is really nice, having lunch together,"

[anomaly_research_nerd]

"Yeah I guess you are alright," Connor said with a wink. He didn't know what was going to happen exactly but he knew they would figure it out, together.