The ARC, London

[itsananomaly]

It had been a couple of days since the stories had started to appear in the press. The phone calls had started and like they’d been instructed to, they answered ‘no comment,’. They’d been staying in Cutter’s office at first, even though Connor had started to move his clothes and things to the breakroom and Cutter was thinking of doing the same, he was starting to get more angsty being cooped up in his office. At the moment he and Connor were in his office, going through old reports that Lester had given them to keep them occupied and then Cutter received another call. At first he thought it was the press and he ignored it, then the phone rang again and he sighed and he answered. [preplayed with the amazing anomaly_research_nerd. Major CW for mentions of trauma, suicidal ideation, recovery from gunshot wounds, mention of loss of a child. NFB for distance but OOC welcome!]

Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Hello?” It was the university, he had been expecting a phone call like this and it was his worst fears confirmed. The call was brief and he hung up in dismay, “fuck,” he swore, standing up from his desk and pacing the room, “fuck!” his Scottish accent coming through. He very rarely swore but he was so upset and angry that he couldn’t think straight.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor had been sitting on the floor in front of the couch, papers spread out around him as he tried to organize the papers Lester had given him to work on that morning. He lifted his head when Cutter answered the phone, the concern growing on his face when he saw the look on his face, and that only intensified when he heard Cutter start swearing like a Scottish sailor. "Nick... what-what is it? What's wrong?" Connor asked as he got to his feet and started towards Cutter, the concern now obvious in his eyes.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter stopped pacing, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to calm down but his temper was still simmering. “That was the university,” he trembled, blinking back furious tears, “they …I …we…” he couldn’t bring himself to tell Connor why the university had called.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor felt his heart drop to his feet when he heard that it was the University that had called. He knew what it meant- and it was most likely nothing good. "They... aren’t happy with all the press attention they are getting now are they?" he asked, almost afraid to know the answer.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“No,” Cutter sighed as he sat down on the floor besides Connor, the tears starting to fall from his eyes, “they’re …it’s worse than them not liking the attention, they’ve had …complaints about the nature of our relationship, my relationship with Stephen …they’re conducting an investigation …” his voice trailed off, as he stared down at his hands.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Damnit" Connor said as he sat there, feeling everything from anger to crippling numbness, all at the same time. "I... I'm sorry Nick" he said as he reached out and put a hand over Cutter's and tried to swallow down the lump he felt forming in his throat.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter closed his eyes, not able to fight back the tears as he did, “it’s worse …we’re …the university’s put my resignation on hold while they look into misconduct …” he opened his eyes as he looked at Connor, “I could lose my professorship, my benefits if they end up firing me …and….and they’ve suspended you from the university program as well, I’m so sorry Connor,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor knew it wouldn't be good... whatever happened when the University found out about the stories and the accusations. But this... this was worse than he had imagined. "They... they're threatening to fire you?" he asked, trying not to think about the other part of what Cutter had told him. "But everything with... Stephen... was so long ago; what does it matter? And... and I wasn't technically a student either when... when we were together?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“Nothing happened with Stephen until he wasn’t my student either …the university is covering their tracks,” Cutter’s shoulders slumped, “with everything in the press …they’re going to try and make an example out of us…”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Right.... of course they are" Connor said bitterly. There went all that work on his class. He had just finished submitting his final assignment too. So much for getting started off right with that degree this time around. "Bloody idiots" he muttered under his breath as he ran his hands through his hair and sighed.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I’m going to talk to Lester about legal options, I don’t know the first thing about getting lawyers involved but we can fight this …get the suspension lifted,” Cutter didn’t know if it was possible but he was not letting Christine destroy his and Connor’s career that easily, “I’m so sorry I dragged you into this,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor tried to look more hopeful than he felt and his shoulder still slumped a bit. It really was all pointless. He wasn't meant to graduate and to have that future he had dreamt of and worked so hard and made so many sacrifices for. "You didn't drag me into anything, Nick" he said softly, looking down at his hands and realizing he had them clenched so tightly his bad one was throbbing. "I-I'm more worried about you, Nick."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I …I’ll be fine, I’ll figure something out,” Cutter trembled, “I mean I did talk about selling my house, I can always do that …cover any kind of additional expenses we’re going to need…” He’d never had to worry about money before and now he was essentially being stood down without pay, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Yeah but... this isn't right! They don't have any reason to do this to you... to us!" Connor said, the anger and the fear starting to get to him. "Mine and Stephen's relationship with you... it shouldn't even matter- we weren't even students then! And, ok yeah the treason charges, that makes sense but still.. they arent even giving us a chance to defend ourselves!" By this point Connor was angrily pacing the office. "They really cant do this can they?"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“I don’t …I don’t know, at the moment they can,” Cutter sighed, blinking back tears that had started to fall, “they said …they said they will have a hearing but I think they’ve already made up their minds, I don’t …I just don’t know what to do,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor stopped pacing for a moment and looked over at Cutter and then walked over. "Oh Nick... I-I'm so sorry" he said softly as he started to put a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to comfort Cutter but it was him being too close, getting too close to Cutter in the first place, that had caused all this, and he wasn't sure if that was what Cutter wanted just then. "We'll... we'll figure something out. If I don't have classes to worry about paying for... I can find something... outside working at Fandom. Something will work out."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter let out a sob and nodded, the last thing he wanted was to start crying but he felt so helpless and angry about everything that he didn’t know what to do. “I mean … I can always look for another job, in addition to teaching at Fandom ….I just always thought I’d have my university benefits to top me up,” At that point Lester thought he’d check on Nick and Connor and see how they were going. He knocked and slowly opened the door, “I thought I’d see how you were …what happened?” he took one look at them and knew something was wrong.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor jumped slightly when the door opened and tried to wipe the tears away from his eyes and dropped his hand from Cutter's shoulder. He tried to look at Lester but couldn't. Connor was afraid he'd lose the little hold he still had on his emotions if he said anything.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled and forced himself to look up at Lester, “the university called …we’re being suspended…I …they’re looking into allegations of misconduct, I ..I think they’re going to fire me,” Lester had been afraid of this, he stepped into the office, walking over to Nick and Connor and bending down to be eye level with them. “We’re going to get you through this,” he told them, “anything you need, I’ll provide them, I’ll arrange meetings with our lawyers to fight this,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded numbly. He was greatfull for the support of course. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he was just being a burden to Cutter, to Lester, and to the entire team. "Christine isn't going to stop is she?" He asked in a softy shaky voice.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Lester was quiet for a moment, “no, she’s not …this is only the beginning and why it’s important we get you back safely to Fandom as soon as possible,” Cutter stared down at his hands, “this is all my fault … I should have just confessed, we wouldn’t be dealing with any of this right now,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Christine would still do this... no matter whether we confessed or not" Connor said with a sigh. "She's going to do everything she can... throw everything at us... no matter what we do. We can't trust anything she says or offers." Connor closed his eyes. It felt so hopeless and it felt like their fate had already been decided, and no matter what they did, Christine was going to win and take everything away. "I...I don't see a way out of this..." he said softly, unable to look at Cutter or Lester just then and dropped his gaze.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled, "she wants us in jail doesn't she James, that's the only way she's going to stop this isn't she? When she wins and gets everything ..." Lester was quiet, "I fear that's her endgame," he admitted, "but I think it's a means to an end for her as well, she wants the ARC ... for some reason she wants access to the anomalies and she thinks by pushing you two out she can take over," he paused, "as long as I'm still in charge, I'm going to do everything I can to fight her, I'm not going to let her win,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"We... should probably get back home... to Fandom then. Maybe.... maybe she will back off some if... if we arent here for her to touch?" Connor had a feeling that would be far from the case but he was trying hard not to imagine Christine's focus going to Lester, Becker, and the rest of the team in their absence.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded tiredly at that, "do you ... do you think it's possible we can get to Fandom in the next few days James?" he said quietly, he just wanted to return to his flat and try to get to some level of normal. "I don't know," Lester admitted as he looked at both Nick and Connor, "there is still a great deal of press around and we can't take the chance you'll be photographed near the ARC or for them to figure out how to get to Fandom ...you might be here for a bit longer than we thought," he said apologetically, "but we're working on getting you back to Fandom as soon as possible," he assured them.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Wonderful..." Connor said with a groan. He really was trying not to let it get to him, But he hated feeling so powerless and helpless with everything going on. And being stuck wasn't helping any. He didn't want to see the ARC as a prison, but that was how it was starting to feel. "I.... I have to go for a walk..." he said as he stood up and headed for the door. "I won't leave the ARC' he said, looking at Lester, snapping more than he had meant to as the frustration finally spilled over. Blinking back the tears that were burning his eyes just then Connor turned away, and headed out into the hallway.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter stared helplessly after Connor as he walked away and he made a move to stand up from the floor. "I'll go talk to him Nick," Lester said softly, "make sure he's okay, this is going to be a very rough period of adjustment for you both I'm afraid, it's going to take time," Cutter nodded blankly at that, too tired to argue as he sat back down on the floor. "We're going to get through this Nick, I promise you," Lester nodded and then after a few moments he started to follow after Connor, leaving Cutter alone with his thoughts. Once James had left, Cutter weakly stood up and laid down on the couch and started crying. How had things gotten this bad? He really didn't know how they were going to fight Christine, she was always one step ahead of them and this was only the beginning.
Lester(thearcfamily)	After Connor had left the office, Lester went to go and find him to make sure he was okay. He knew that he wouldn't be okay, he knew this feeling all too well, that spiralling feeling that everything was falling apart and nothing would ever be okay. The only problem was the ARC was fairly big and he knew Connor would keep his word that he wouldn't go outside ... he would go somewhere that had some windows. Luckily the windows were tinted so that no one could look into the ARC but the employers could look out if they wanted to. He headed along the main walkway to where the main windows were to see if he could spot Connor.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	It wouldn’t be too hard for Lester to find him once he was in the right area. It wasn't like Connor was trying to hide or anything. At some point though, whether it was the tears finally making it impossible to walk any farther or his legs giving out at last, or both, Connor had stopped along one of the main corridors. With his back to the hard steel wall, he slowly sank to the floor, staring out the glass wall in front of him.
Lester(thearcfamily)	It didn’t take long for Lester to find Connor once he started walking closer to the glass walls, he found him sitting on the floor and after a few moments he caught up to him and then he sat down to join Connor. He didn’t say anything, he knew that there was nothing that could be said that would make Connor feel better but he wanted Connor to know that he was there for him whether he wanted to talk or not.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	At first Connor didn't say anything and barely even acknowledged Lester was there. He just sat with his arms on his knees and his head against his arms. Then after a bit he lifted his head, a strangled sob catching in his throat as he did. "is it worth it... to keep fighting?" he whispered, his voice trembling as he did. "I tried to make things work with Nick... that fell apart. I tried to be responsible and go back to finish my degree... that's all been taken away now. I tried to be a valuable member of the ARC.... that has all been in vain and all I've caused are problems. I try... and all I do is fail. Why even bother trying anymore? Christine has won..."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester was quiet for a few minutes as he considered how to answer Connor's question, "it's always worth it to keep fighting," he said softly, "I know everything feels like its falling apart but I can't give you the answer you want ... I've been where you are, where everything feels like nothing's going to get back on track ... you have to find something to hold on to ... that bit of hope that will get you through this, you're in for a very rough time ... even on top of everything you've been through ... but giving up is not the answer, that gives Christine what she wants and we can still fight her, we have to,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor stared at his hands for a moment before looking at Lester at last. "How... how did you do it? What was your one things? The thing you held onto when... when everything felt like it was falling apart?" Connor took a shuddering breath and tried to calm down some.
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester looked at Connor for a few moments, “when I was recovering from being shot … it was my son, being there while he was sick and then when he died and my first marriage fell apart … I … that was harder for me … I didn’t see a way out … I felt alone and helpless, like you’re feeling right now, and it was actually my father …who …probably for the first time in my life, showed me some compassion, saw how badly I was doing … and got me a job at Whitehall, it was my first job and at first I didn’t want anything to do with it … I didn’t see the point … my son was gone, my wife had left me … what was the point in keeping going and now …” his voice trailed off, “if I had given up then I wouldn’t have my girls, I wouldn’t have this job … I wouldn’t have this great team who works for me, it was a hard road to get here and it will be a hard road for you but you will get through this, one day I can promise you that Connor,”
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	"Guess for me it..." Connor hesitated a moment and bit his lip. "I think for me it's... that I'm afraid of failing and losing what I have... I've been on my own for so long. Mum's been gone for years... she always resented having to raise me alone... and of being reminded every time she looked at me of the man she hated. I never had or wanted a relationship with my old man...I put myself through school, got into uni, did everything on my own..." Connor sighed as he rubbed his hands, not sure why he was saying all of this. It just felt like something he needed to say, needed to admit, and needed to face. "But now... everything just feels so.. so out of control. I can't fix any of it. I can't do anything to stop Christine. I can't help the team. I can't protect the people who mean the most to me. I can't change anything that is happening. And... that... scares me to death."
Lester(thearcfamily)	Lester was quiet for a few minutes as he considered how to answer Connor's question, "it's always worth it to keep fighting," he said softly, Lester hesitated and then carefully put a hand gently on Connor's knee, "when so many things happen at once and none of them good, it can be overwhelming, suffocating ... you don't know what to do but once I had that job, some of that control back that's what I focused on ...what I was able to control ...and sometimes that's all you can do, right now I know there mustn't feel like anything you can control but you're alive ... Christine can't take that from you, you have the team 120% ready to fight behind you, including a really good PR expert who knows how to work the press and it might take a while but we will get through this ...and I'm going to do everything I can to talk to the university, use every favour I have if I have to ... I know how hard you worked to get back to university, I'm not letting Christine take this from you," he paused, "it'll take time but we can fight back against the damage Christine is doing,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor appreciated that hand and he listened to Lester and smiled softly. "I... I've never had anyone I could lean on before....before all this. I think that the ARC... the team... all of you guys... that is my one thing... the thing I have to hold onto." That included you Lester, especially you in many ways though Connor had no idea exactly how to say that just then. "Christine can't tear us apart. I... I know she won't."
Lester(thearcfamily)	"No she won't," Lester agreed softly, "and these next few weeks I think we're all going to be holding to each other, it's ... Christine won't back down, there will be very ugly stories written about you and Nick in the press," Lester hesitated, wondering if he should mention that Christine would start leaking stories about the rest of the team as well but decided Connor had enough worries to deal with and didn't need that extra pressure, "but I want you to know that you won't be alone, you will always have me, Becker, Nick ... the whole team will be with you,"
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor nodded as he wiped at the tears that had started to form, but this time they weren't tears of fear or frustration but rather tears of realization that he wasn't as alone as it seemed. "Th-thank you, Lester," he said softly. "I know we will.. will figure this out. And I.. I want to be here for the team... as much as I can, no... no matter what happens. Christine cant break us that easily. And I wont let her, no... no matter how hard she tries." Connor wished he sounded more confident in that but he had his one thing at least, and he wasn't going to let go of that.
Lester(thearcfamily)	"You're welcome Connor," Lester said softly, his hand still on Connor's knee to give him that support, "it's going to be hard but we've got a good team here and Christine is going to realise her mistake when she realises that we're not going down without a fight, we're going to get through this Connor ... together," he assured him.
Connor(anomaly_research_nerd)	Connor smiled as he finally felt himself relax a bit. They would get through this. He didn't have to do this alone any more. They would find a way to stop Christine from getting what she wanted. As he relaxed at last, Connor closed his eyes, the exhaustion of the last few days finally hitting him. He leaned his head back against the wall and let go of that fear and uncertainty, and tried to focus on what he had. Right there. Right in front of him. The family he never thought he would ever have. Slowly he relaxed enough he started to drift off, and as he did he leaned his head over until it rested against Lester's shoulder. Connor didn't even realize he was doing it. All he knew was he was absolutely exhausted and for the first time since the stories had been leaked, he felt safe.
Lester(thearcfamily)	And Lester understood, shifting slightly so Connor could get more comfortable with resting his head on his shoulder and would let him stay there as long as he needed to, to be able to give that security and comfort that Connor desperately craved right at that moment. And as he looked at Connor, his eyes closed and resting on his forehead he was more determined that ever that he would stop Christine and make her pay for what she had done to his team, what she had done to Connor and to Nick .. he was going to find a way for as long as he was still in charge of the ARC.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	After Connor had walked out of his office and Lester had left to follow him, Cutter had gotten up and laid on the couch and not moved from there. He had spent the next little while crying on and off, he hated how helpless he was feeling right then ... it was his fault that Connor had got caught up in this, he should have done more to ensure that Connor would be protected from Christine and now ... now he had gotten Connor suspended from university, the university he had tried so hard to get into and he knew how much work he had done in his class. And Cutter was facing the real possibility of being fired ...losing his professorship, his benefits ... everything he had worked so hard for ... and while he acted like he didn't care about his job, not bothering to turn up to classes ... he did love his job, he loved teaching and while he wanted to leave the university and not go back to teach at CMU, he wanted to do it on his own terms and now he was being denied that. He curled up in a fetal position on the couch, a fresh wave of tears overwhelming him and he started sobbing again.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Sometime later, there was a soft knock on the door before it opened slowly a moment later. Becker poked his head in and gave a small nod as he walked in. "Hey Nick... just wanted to see how you were.. if.. you wanted any company with everything going on?" Becker had heard about the call from the university. And he had just seen Lester and Connor still sitting in the corridor together as he had finished his afternoon rounds. So he knew things were rough for them both right then. He looked over at Cutter sadly and walked over and sat quietly on the arm of the couch. He didn't say anything else, not wanting to push Cutter if he wasn't ready to talk but also wanting him to know he was there if he did.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	It took a few moments before Cutter lifted his head up to look at Becker, the tears still streaming down his face, "I ..." he forced himself to sit up, wincing a little at the effort, "I feel terrible," he admitted. Ever since the stories had leaked, everything with the university ...he just felt so tired and helpless and he didn't know what to do anymore, "I didn't think it ... I didn't think it would hurt this badly," he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	With Cutter sitting upright, Becker shifted and moved to sit on the couch beside him. "I can’t even begin to imagine what that might feel like, Nick" he said softly. He had a pretty good idea he would find out soon enough- he wasn't a fool enough to think Christine was going to stop at Connor and Cutter. But he wasn't about to say as much to Cutter. "But I do know one thing. You don't have to face this alone" he said as he reached out a hand and put it on Cutter's shoulder.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter nodded and sobbed, "I should have done more ...I've ...I've ruined Connor's future, the university ... " he had to stop, unable to fight those fresh waves of tears that were streaking down his cheeks, "I've ruined everything Becker," it came out in a tired whimper.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You have not ruined anything, Nick. Not for you and not for Connor" Becker said firmly yet gently. "Christine is the one doing all this. This is all her doing and her fault. Not yours!"
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter tried so desperately to believe that but he was so tired, he didn't know how he was going to push through this and it was only getting started, he let out a sob and rocked back and forth, wrapping his hands around his knees, "I don't know how to beat this," he admitted, "the university ... it's like they've already made up their minds, they're going to fire me, kick Connor out of his program ... I don't know what to do,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"We take this one day at a time. Christine is trying to tear the team apart for whatever reason....but we aren't going to let her win" Becker looked at Cutter. "I know what it is like to feel out of control and helpless. But you are anything but! We're going to fight Christine."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter kept sobbing quietly, "it just feels like that there isn't anyway out of this," he said softly, "that doesn't involve me confessing and ending up in jail ... I don't know why but she's not going to stop," he looked up at Becker with tear stained eyes, "I ... I never meant for any of this to happen, it seems like my past is coming back to haunt me and it's going to take everyone I care about down with me,"
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I know that's how it feels and I know what that is like. To feel like you are alone, facing a hopeless situation on your own." Becker gave Cutter's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "But you are not alone, Nick. You have an entire team, myself included, that is going to stand with you and Connor and fight. We aren't going to let Christine get away with this. It's not going to be easy and it's going to get worse before it is all over. But I can promise you one thing, no matter what happens, you won't be facing it alone." Becker sat for a moment, just sitting there, being with Nick and trying to support him before he spoke again. "I know how it feels to be scared for the future, to feel like everything is spiraling out of control. When things are happening that you cannot control or change it can be hard to know how to keep fighting. I felt that way after my injury and after fighting so hard to recover and then being told I'd never be able to enlist again. It is the hardest thing to face, not feeling in control of your own life... but I know you are a fighter Nick. You will get through this and you will find your reason to keep pushing onward."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	“It doesn’t feel like I am right now,” Cutter admitted, managing to stop sobbing for a bit before he could calm down, he bit his lip, “it just …” he started and then stopped, “it just feels so unfair that Connor and I can’t defend ourselves in the press and Christine knows that,” he said softly, “I know why we can’t engage but it just …it just feels like a losing battle sometimes,” his shoulders slumped.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"I know it is hard to sit and wait and watch everything happen, to feel like everything is moving against you," Becker said gently. "But you and Connor don't have to fight the press, or fight Christine...because we are going to do that for you. The entire team is here to fight for you and Connor. Every step of the way, we got your back and are going to do everything we can to fight for you when and where you both aren't able to. From Lester to Jenny to myself, we are here for you." Becker looked at Cutter with a small smile and gave a determined nod as he continued. "And I know you feel like that's not fair on us, but that is what this team does. that is what this family does- we stand up for each other and fight for each other. It is what we all will gladly do for you Nick and for Connor. We are here 120%."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter trembled and nodded, “I’m just so tired,” he admitted, “after everything with Helen and now Christine …” he stared down at his knees, “and now that I’m likely going to be fired from the university …I …I’ve never had to worry about money before and I …I I’m scared,” he said softly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"You know Lester isn't going to let anything happen to you or Connor, Nick. Whether it's work here with the ARC or figuring out something else, he's not going to let you and Connor go without," Bekcer said softly. He had a feeling Cutter was feeling the same as he had about the idea of relying on others, taking what felt like handouts, and not being able to take care of things himself. "We're going to be right here beside you. We'll figure it out together. It... I can't lie and say it will be easy... it's going to be hard... But one thing i do know, no matter what Christine tries to do... we are in this together. Christine and her goons can try and tear us apart, but she is going to find out what a mistake shes making." Becker turned and looked at Cutter as he put a hand on his knee and made sure Cutter was looking at him. "I don't know exactly what things will look like in the end, but we are going to get through this."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter looked up at Becker, blinking back the last of those stubborn tears and nodded, he didn't like the idea of relying on others for help with things like money, he had always been proud of his work achievements and now that his main job and prominent source of income looked like it was going to disappear, he felt lost. "I just don't like the idea of Christine coming after you and the team," Cutter said softly, "for what is my mess ... I willingly helped Helen for my own selfish reasons and now everyone's paying the price for that and ...I ... I don't know how to fix this," he said quietly.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker looked at Cutter as he spoke. "Remember one thing Nick. Whatever happened with Helen, it was the result of her twisting the truth, manipulating you, and torturing you for over a week. All of this is Helen's doing. She is the one in the wrong." Becker was speaking gently but firmly and wanted to make sure Cutter understood. "Christine is now twisting the truth, digging up things that done matter, and manipulating the stories to her own end goals. Helen and Christine are to blame for what is happening and what is going to happen before this is all over. Don't let their lies convince you they are right. Don't let them win."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter bit his lip but he eventually nodded, "it's just hard not to think that things could have been different if I hadn't made those choices ..." he said quietly, "that they wouldn't be used against me like this ...it's hard to not feel responsible," he admitted.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Believe me I know how that is" Becker said with a somewhat sad nod. "But I will tell you one thing I do know from experience after beating myself up for years over what happened on that last mission of mine- dwelling on the what ifs and self bame won't change the past. It won't bring people back and it won't change things that have already happened. I.. I had to learn the hard way.... to focus on what i could do to... to make a difference and try and make things different. That's why... I took the job Lester offered me. I can't do what I did before, I cant try and live to some self-imposed standard of atonement. But I can use what I have to help make a difference now... here with this team. I had to learn to face forward, not backward. And I know you will find a way to do the same Nick. It will take time, and it won't be easy, but we are all in this together- the way it should be."
Cutter(itsananomaly)	"I guess that's why Dr. Taylor always says to focus on what I can control," Cutter said softly, "I ... I know I can't keep wishing that things were different, no matter how badly I wish they had been ... I ... I'm scared of what's going to come but it ... it helps knowing I'm not going to be alone," he added. There was a moments hesitation and then he shifted slightly and he began to lower himself so that his head was laying on Becker's lap. He was tired and he didn't want to think of anything just then but the fact that Becker was there with him and not worry about anything else.
Becker(thearcfamily)	Becker nodded as Cutter spoke- he got it, and Becker knew it would take time but Cutter was on the right track. And in that moment as Cutter shifted and laid down on the couch, the exhaustion so evident in the way he looked and moved, Becker realized just how much Cutter did mean to him. "I'm not going anywhere Nick," he said softly, reassuringly. "You rest." And then without even thinking, with Cutter's head resting in his lap as he sat there on the couch, Becker smoothed down the wild mess of hair and gently rubbed Cutter's shoulder. And in that moment he promised himself that withe ver fiber of his being he would never give Cutter a reason to regret trusting him.
Cutter(itsananomaly)	Cutter relaxed at Becker smoothing back his hair and at the shoulder rub, some of the tension that had been for the last few days since the stories had first been made public and then he slowly began to go close his eyes, feeling reassured that Becker was there and that he was not alone. "Thank you," he said softly just before he closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep.
Becker(thearcfamily)	"Anytime Nick" Becker said softly as he continued, watching Cutter drift off to sleep. He would stay there for as long as Cutter needed him to. And he would do absolutely everything in his power to make things right and to fight Christine every step of the way.