"I seem to keep making mistakes," Cutter trembled, "and I keep hurting the people that I love, I pushed Connor away when he needed me the most ... I wasn't supportive at all either as a leader or as a boyfriend and now ..." his voice trailed off, "I keep hearing Helen's words in my mind ... that I'll just mess everything up," he couldn't meet Ryan's gaze, "I don't deserve to be a leader,"
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